Family problems - brothers weddin wat wud u do?

**carebear25** · 17-09-2009, 05:46 PM

Long story but advice wud b appreciated...

My brother is hopin to get married sum time soon but the top table lay out is causing problems???

Family history

Mum an dad divorced
Dad remarried for 25yrs
Mum with partner for 20 yrs split 2 yrs ago an now she has remarried
Step dad stil involved in our lives

so top table wud b if every1 sat on it
Bride, Groom, Best Man, Chief Bridesmaid, Brides mum an dad an Grooms parents x 6 (not gonna happen) so we have alternatives

1. Bride, Groom, Best man, chief bridesmaid, Brides mum & dad an grooms mum an dad only but step mum sayin she wont b happy if not on an my mum sayin she wont b happy if she is.

2. Bride, Groom, Best man, chief bridesmaid only an all parents on a seperate table (not fair on brides parents)

Does this make sense??

**little miss chatterbox** · 17-09-2009, 05:50 PM

oh tricky one! I think I would put parents on seperate tables

a friend of mine got married and her parents are divorced, her mum was single and her dad remarried so she had her mum on the top table and her dad and step mum on seperate table.

at the end of the day (and it nevers works like this but should!) it's your brothers day and everyone should put their feuds to one side for one day.

**PixiePetal** · 17-09-2009, 05:51 PM

Nightmare.

I would go for a nice Carribean Island on their own! Family bash after and everyone to keep opinions to themselves for 1 day

Good luck

**Minstrel** · 17-09-2009, 05:52 PM

I am getting married soon and have read many good suggestions in the many many MANY wedding magazines and books i have.

What about a 'sweetheart' table? This would be just the happy couple. Then parents/step parents can each be given their own table to 'host'. Gives then their own importance and role to fulfill.

**tammerisk** · 17-09-2009, 05:53 PM

i had bride groom beast man adn partner and my best friend and her partner on my top table and sort of spred everyone else out similar sor tyof problem but my parents and his parents not get on to well so i stuck them at opposite ends of the room!!!!!

**HomefromHome** · 17-09-2009, 05:54 PM

tell the warring parents to grow up and behave for the hour they will probably be sat at the table!!!!!! it isnt long and i'm sure they can be 'adult' enough to be good for your brother's wedding - after the meal bit they can go and sit where they want!
sorry for being blunt but been there etc etc - the warring factions in my case were all told to be polite without being sarcy or making snide comments for 2 hrs, then to go and do whatever after!!!
if they succeed get your brother to thank EVERYONE on the top table for a special day (or something like that)

**miss muffit** · 17-09-2009, 05:54 PM

This is a difficult one, you will never please everyone and its your brother and his future wifes day, if it were me i think your brothers birth mum and dad should put aside there differences and sit on the top table, with their new partners on a table near by and if they dont like it then stay away.

Hope it all works out

LOOPYLISA · 17-09-2009, 05:55 PM

Oh dear

My mum and dad are divorced they get on though but me and hubby are planning a wedding abroad and a party when we get back

Saves the arguments and i dread to think about how my mil would take over

**carebear25** · 17-09-2009, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Minstrel

I am getting married soon and have read many good suggestions in the many many MANY wedding magazines and books i have.

What about a 'sweetheart' table? This would be just the happy couple. Then parents/step parents can each be given their own table to 'host'. Gives then their own importance and role to fulfill.

I like this idea

**Chimps Childminding** · 17-09-2009, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by miss muffit

This is a difficult one, you will never please everyone and its your brother and his future wifes day, if it were me i think your brothers birth mum and dad should put aside there differences and sit on the top table, with their new partners on a table near by and if they dont like it then stay away.

Hope it all works out

Tend to agree with this one! They are his parents after all. Surely they could agree to it just for the hour or two that the food and then speeches are done, then they can go off and join their respective partners for the rest of the day!!

Good luck with whatver is decided!

**Princess Sara** · 17-09-2009, 07:07 PM

My df has a similar family situation... if you count all his 'mums' from his dad not being able to stay with the same women for more than 5 years... there would be 3, and all their new partners.

I've just told him he can have 4 seats at our 'top table' and I don't care if they're friends/family/funny looking guy pulled in from the street, as long as they'll be nice to everyone else on the table and tell me how beautiful I look all day long!

Personally, I don't think it matters who is on your table as long as you're comfortable sitting with them for X amount of hours! Suppose to be the best day of your life, why bother trying to make other people happy?

**kindredspirits** · 17-09-2009, 07:38 PM

i would personally just have direct parents on the top table - none of his dads wifes buisness really.

**mum2two** · 17-09-2009, 07:49 PM

My family is a bit messed up too...

My dad is in my life, but my uncle gave me away. Mum had been with stepdad about 18 yrs at time of wedding. Then there was my uncles' gf.

We had it as trad as possible... Me & Hubby, his parents, bridesmaid & best man, my mum, and my uncle, (as he was the one giving me away)

I was brought up by my nan, but she had passed away a couple of years prior, but had she been alive, she would've been top table instead of my mum...

My dad & step-dad sat on one table, with my brothers & sisters, and uncles gf, sat with hubby's brother & wife...

I have seen a wedding where there was no real top table, and the bride & groom just had a 2 person table to themselves. Perhaps a possibility, and then all the other partners can be sat accordingly...

xx

**ajs** · 17-09-2009, 07:52 PM

same problems with our wedding so we decided not to have a top table at all and all of the important people sat with whomeveer they wanted on each table
no arguements and everyone was happy

**singlewiththree** · 17-09-2009, 07:58 PM

This worries me when my daughters get married as if he is still with the woman he had the affair with even after a long length of time it will still hurt, I'm obviously hoping it won't but I can't forget what they did. I know I would have to behave adult and I could sit at the top table with my ex but not with his GF sitting watching me I would just want to smack her face!

**sonia ann** · 17-09-2009, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by Minstrel

I am getting married soon and have read many good suggestions in the many many MANY wedding magazines and books i have.

What about a 'sweetheart' table? This would be just the happy couple. Then parents/step parents can each be given their own table to 'host'. Gives then their own importance and role to fulfill.

love this idea

**CherryBlossom** · 18-09-2009, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by Minstrel

I am getting married soon and have read many good suggestions in the many many MANY wedding magazines and books i have.

What about a 'sweetheart' table? This would be just the happy couple. Then parents/step parents can each be given their own table to 'host'. Gives then their own importance and role to fulfill.

Love this idea! If I ever get married I would like to do this.
My family is a bit tricky too, and it puts me off even getting married all the stress of it lol!

At the end of the day though, I cannot stand other people making demands on a happy couples wedding day.
If it was me getting married I would say if you don't like it don't come!

My Mum recently got married. She has her and husband, both mums, best man, my brother (as he gave hr away) chief bridesmaid and husband on top table.

So her new husbands dad and new wife sat with everyone else, and my brothers girlfriend also had to sit with everyone else. Don't think anybody really complained.

Hope it all works out ok

x

**mummyroysof3** · 18-09-2009, 09:06 AM

this would be why me and hubby got married late afternoon and had a buffet and every one but us could just choose where they sat at various tables round the room

charlotte x