does it sound as if i'm being nosey???

**chewy sweets** · 20-08-2009, 05:46 PM

My first mindee is starting full time in september. Whilst looking through his child record form last night i noticed that his sisters have a different surname to him.(Ok kids from a previous relationship) But then noticed that my mindee hasn't got his dads surname but the mums. I know mum is married to the man she's with- who says he's the father.
So i wondered why lo hasn't got his surname.
There's no mention of another dad and under contact details and work details for father she's got her husbands name????
Do you think this is odd.
Should i check that he's the father or does this seem nosey?
Wanted to check that i've got eveyone's details related to the child.
She can't really blame me for being confused can she???

**nannymcflea** · 20-08-2009, 05:54 PM

You need to check for parental responsibility...make sure his name is on the list for pick-ups because if he doesn't have P R then there may be an issue.

There is a link somewhere on this site for this, hopefully someone will put it up for you!

**FizzysFriends** · 20-08-2009, 05:56 PM

My DD has my surname. I wasn't married to her dad.

**Tatjana** · 20-08-2009, 06:00 PM

Not everyone changes their surname when they marry, i didn't.

xx

**Tatjana** · 20-08-2009, 06:02 PM

Have to say, if i was mindees mum I wouldn't appreciate being asked about it.

hth

xx

**FizzysFriends** · 20-08-2009, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by Tatjana

Have to say, if i was mindees mum I wouldn't appreciate being asked about it.

hth

xx

Nor me. If he had a totally different name all together may be but its his moms name therefore has no bearing on who is or isn't his father.

amirose · 20-08-2009, 06:14 PM

Well what has she put on your either your parental responsibility form or on the parental responsibility/legal contact part of your contract? You should have this completed, by law, so if you haven't done this already you will have to go back and get her to complete one anyway.

**cher25** · 20-08-2009, 06:57 PM

I know a lot of people whose children have their mam's surname and not their dad's.
The usual reason i think is them not being married at the time of the child being born.
1 of my mindee's has a different surname to his brother. (Reason being as above!)

**mushpea** · 20-08-2009, 07:36 PM

i have been with my partner for 14yrs, we are not married and both our children have my surname, his is named as the father on both birth certificates but i get confused over PR becasue my daugher was born 1998 and we were told that as we are not married he can not sign for things like emergency ops, dentists, doctors etc basicly he has no parental rights over her, my son was born 2000 and i belive the law was changed so that he does have rights to him. all very confusing.

**FussyElmo** · 20-08-2009, 07:44 PM

My children born 1999 and 2001, their Dad has no pr for them which in my case was a plus.

You can go to court and get it done quite easily -: just a matter of taking some paperwprk

**FizzysFriends** · 20-08-2009, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by mushpea

i have been with my partner for 14yrs, we are not married and both our children have my surname, his is named as the father on both birth certificates but i get confused over PR becasue my daugher was born 1998 and we were told that as we are not married he can not sign for things like emergency ops, dentists, doctors etc basicly he has no parental rights over her, my son was born 2000 and i belive the law was changed so that he does have rights to him. all very confusing.

Its the same for both your children, the law changed after your son was born. (think it changed in 2003).

**Minstrel** · 20-08-2009, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by FizzysFriends

Its the same for both your children, the law changed after your son was born. (think it changed in 2003).

Fizzy's right - the PR law came into action for babies born on or after 1 Dec 2003. My son was born in that week and strange to think that if he had been born on his due date (end of nov) then my other half wouldnt have PR!

**mumof1** · 20-08-2009, 10:51 PM

me and my dd have my name, we wont be changing her name or my name till me and oh are married. We have always said we wouldnt change it till we r married cos i wanted her to have my name when she was born.

If that makes any sense!

**tinkerbelle** · 21-08-2009, 07:04 AM

i wasn't married when i had my first two kids but automatically gave them their dads name i was married when we had our third so we now all have the same name
my firends kids had their mums name and she had to apply to change it to their dads name even though they are still not married

**FizzysFriends** · 21-08-2009, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by FussyElmo

My children born 1999 and 2001, their Dad has no pr for them which in my case was a plus.

You can go to court and get it done quite easily -: just a matter of taking some paperwprk

Not always easy, i faught ex having PR and won, he was refused.

**Mollymop** · 21-08-2009, 07:24 AM

My 2 children have their Dad's last name as we are not married yet. When we do get married my name will change to theirs automatically.

I wouldn't ask either Katie, hun. As long as you have the PR filled in that should be enough, hun. xx

**FussyElmo** · 21-08-2009, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by FizzysFriends

Not always easy, i faught ex having PR and won, he was refused.

No sorry didnt explain myself very well. My ex wanted PR I fought it too and he didnt get it.

When we looked into it when we were a couple its a relatively easy thing to get. That was my argument when he wanted PR it didnt bother him when we were together.

There was a case round here years ago in the paper - when mum died dad had no legal right to the children so social services put the children in care

I didnt want this for my children so loooked into it but ex said there was no point

**FizzysFriends** · 21-08-2009, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by FussyElmo

No sorry didnt explain myself very well. My ex wanted PR I fought it too and he didnt get it.

When we looked into it when we were a couple its a relatively easy thing to get. That was my argument when he wanted PR it didnt bother him when we were together.

There was a case round here years ago in the paper - when mum died dad had no legal right to the children so social services put the children in care

I didnt want this for my children so loooked into it but ex said there was no point

I thought about that too, I have given my permission, via my solicitor, for my parents to have PR so if something happened hopefully DD wouldn't go into care.