Think she might fret for me ....

**Lainey Lou** · 18-08-2009, 08:51 PM

Hiya, I'm 40 next month and my sis-in-law has booked us a surprise trip to Barcelona next week just 2 nights but we will be away 3 full days.

This is all great, however, I've got an (only just) 2 year old daughter (who will be staying at home with daddy who she loves), BUT she is a real mummy's girl and really frets for me when I'm not around, when I say not around I mean just at the supermarket or in the kitchen making tea! I'm with her all day and do most things for her, the minute she wakes up in the morning she's shouting 'Mummy, Mummy', I know she will fret when I am away and I feel so AWFUL, I'm dreading it to be honest. If I could get out of it I would but don't want to let sis-in-law down.

I know she is only 2 and probably wouldn't understand anyway but I don't just want to just disappear, how should I deal with it, should I tell her that mummy will be going away but will come back, will there be any point? I said it to her before and she started crying and said 'no' - I don't know what to do for the best? What do you think? xx

**Tatjana** · 18-08-2009, 08:54 PM

I'm sorry i have no advice, but it must be very difficult for you. The only thing i would say is she's to young to remember the separation.

Hope you have a great 40th!

xx

**miffy** · 18-08-2009, 08:58 PM

Oh bless her - perhaps you could leave her with daddy for a few hours this weekend to see how it goes and so she knows you will be coming back.

It might be better than you think. Hope you have a fab time

Miffy xx

TheBTeam · 18-08-2009, 08:59 PM

Didn't want to read and run, but not sure if my thoughts are any help!! Part of me thinks that it will not do your dd any harm if you go for a couple of days and may be the making of the relationship with her dad, if her dad is happy to cope with how she may be then i think you should go and have a good time.

It will not damage her for the rest of her life to be without you for a couple of days, whether or not she is really upset, in all honesty she won't remember it in a few years!!

I would explain as best you can that you are going for a couple of days and that she can have a good time with daddy, lots of fun things to tell mummy about when you get back, I would leave telling her till the last minute though!

I am better at seeing this in writing though than I am doing it in reality!!! I fully see why you would prefer not to go, I am only going away from my kids for the first time this december for one night and they are 7 and 10!!!

**sweets** · 18-08-2009, 09:01 PM

it may do her and daddy good, with you not around for a while she may get to really bond with him. she will prob fret for a few hours then will be ok.

**youarewhatyoueat** · 18-08-2009, 09:03 PM

She'll be fine, it will be good for her dad to have her to himself for a bit, enjoy the break and bring her a nice prezzie back and all will be forgiven. You'll probably more upset if she doesn't make a fuss for you.

LOOPYLISA · 18-08-2009, 09:05 PM

I would start leaving her with daddy for short periods getting longer each time iyswim,

My dd is 11 and went away for a week with the school, it wasnt as bad as i expected, bit diferent i know !

Your dd will miss you and you will miss her, but it will do her and daddy the world of good

Enjoy your 40th

**uf353432** · 18-08-2009, 09:17 PM

My oldest was a similar age when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter. I was admitted into hospital for a week in my pregnancy to be rehydrated which meant daddy had to take over the full time care of E. After initial upset that I was not there - she did quickly adjust to it, daddy continued to reassure her I would be home soon.

She can cope and will adjust. But you have to let her, sometimes anxieties in children are born out of anxieties in parents. So if you appear anxious about leaving her - because you think she will go into melt down, because you think she may not cope emotionally without you - the chances are thats the way she will be.

You deserve to be 'you' for a couple of days - and have a break from being mum - you are allowed to go and have fun and live like an adult - so embrace a few days freedom and enjoy it.

Personally I would mention it in passing well before you go, don't rise to any negative behaviour, be matter of fact about it. You are going but you will come back and if she is really good you will bring her a special present. But most of all don't give her any clue that you expect her to be anxious. You don't need her blessing to go out and have fun - you earnt the right when you became independant from your own parents

**Lainey Lou** · 18-08-2009, 09:19 PM

Thanks for the replies, thats a good idea, leaving her with daddy a few times, wish I had thought of that a few weeks ago now, der. Good excuse to go shopping for last minute bits and bobs! Feel better now, I know she will be fine but you know how it is when its your 'baby' XX

**uf353432** · 18-08-2009, 09:23 PM

think of it as early preparation for school

I mean she can't take you in her backpack

**angeldelight** · 19-08-2009, 07:40 AM

I think you need to start leaving your daughter anyway even if you are not going away it will do her good and it will do you good to have a break shopping or something

Kids adapt more than we give them credit for and I am sure she will be fine

Hope you enjoy your weekend away - have fun

Angel xx

**mandy moo** · 19-08-2009, 11:01 AM

My boys 11 and 8yrs next month have stayed with their grandparents over night they have been fine.

On my 40th a couple of years ago, my family and hubbie arranged for he and I to go away for the weekend just the 2 of us.
Now that was really peculiar, Id never left them for so long before and kept turning/looking round for them when we were out and about..

Good advice already given above, so I hope you have a great time and try not to fret about her too much, easier said than done, I know.

**nannymcflea** · 19-08-2009, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by caroline L

She'll be fine, it will be good for her dad to have her to himself for a bit, enjoy the break and bring her a nice prezzie back and all will be forgiven. You'll probably more upset if she doesn't make a fuss for you.

I agree, go enjoy yourself.

**Minstrel** · 19-08-2009, 05:22 PM

I'm really evil then because in January we are BOTH going on holiday across the other side of the world!

**ORKSIE** · 19-08-2009, 05:29 PM

i cant add any more to this, just wanna say have a fab holiday dont worry about your DD she will be in good hands

ESTD I know

**childmind04** · 19-08-2009, 06:35 PM

Try to relax a bit and enjoy your break, like others have said it will not harm her and will actually do her good to spend time with daddy

Get daddy to start talking to her about what they will do when mummy is on the plane as she will probably be able to link a plane with mummy so hopefully this will help her, although daddy may find he has to do some plane spotting