Mindee warey of men

**louise** · 07-08-2009, 09:05 PM

Hi, Mindee 15months has been with me since dec and she still wont go near my dh. She starts at 7am so Hubbie is still about most of the time he is getting ds ready. As soon as he comes in the room if she is playing she will come over to me crying and climbing on me when he hasnt done anything. She is fine if she is in the highchair she even blew him a kiss said bye bye and waved the other day. As she done this we thought she was getting use to him but she is back to climbing over me and crying even in the chair. Its not just my dh if bil or fil pop in she is the same. I have mentioned it to her parents and mum says it maybe as one grandad doesnt see her other has passed away so she doesnt get much contact with men.
We have tried getting hubbie to offer her things she likes. One min she will be fine with the interaction when im holding her next she isn't.

Any ideas of what else we can do? If dh has a day off when mindee is here it will be such hard work. Hubbie is wondering why she doesnt like him.

Thanks Lou

**Blaze** · 07-08-2009, 09:08 PM

Firstly you need to note all this down times dates what happened - who was involves & how she responded in your notes of concern incase it's a safeguarding issue...sorry - I'll be back to elaborate - my dd has woken!

**sweets** · 07-08-2009, 09:12 PM

I wouldn't worry, a lot of children go through a phase of this, esp if they don't see men very often. some even take a dislike to their dads for no reason! lol. she will get through it eventually. just let hubby wave to her from across the room or pull faces to make her laugh without the pressure of coming too close, she will soon get over it, im sure.

**zillervalley** · 07-08-2009, 09:16 PM

you could take note of it, but it may be that the mindee is wary for now and it will pass,

ziller

**louise** · 07-08-2009, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by Blaze

Firstly you need to note all this down times dates what happened - who was involves & how she responded in your notes of concern incase it's a safeguarding issue...sorry - I'll be back to elaborate - my dd has woken!

Oh never thought of it like that. You have got me worried.

**louise** · 07-08-2009, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by sweets

I wouldn't worry, a lot of children go through a phase of this, esp if they don't see men very often. some even take a dislike to their dads for no reason! lol. she will get through it eventually. just let hubby wave to her from across the room or pull faces to make her laugh without the pressure of coming too close, she will soon get over it, im sure.

Done that but hubbie always want to give me a kiss good bye which if i go to him she just sits and crys or tries to climb up my leg. She is fine if she is in the high chair though

**madasahatter** · 07-08-2009, 09:23 PM

I wouldn't worry too much at this stage. I too have had mindees who were very wary of men (both boys and girls), particularly around the age of 12 to 18 months. I think it is good advice to note details, as much so you can see the change as the child becomes more confident.
One of my mindees used to scream blue murder when DH walked through the door. We persevered, he always had a big cheesy grin and a warm hello for the child and now they will crawl all over him given the chance! The same child reacted the same to all adults except mum, dad and me.

**sweets** · 07-08-2009, 09:32 PM

don't let hubby try and avoid her though, if anything you want her to see him more then she gets used to him. he could try just walking in saying hello and then completely ignoring her! and see what happens.

**Blaze** · 07-08-2009, 10:30 PM

I'm back - but the others have filled in pretty much what i was gonna say - it's actually pretty normal & I would continue letting her have access to men ie your hubby ...she probably feels secure in her highchair - but not on the floor when not being held by you she feels vunerable IYSWIM. You should note down the instances as I have suggested just to be on the safe side...& to see if you can see a pattern - or just watch her grow out of it - but incase there is a safeguarding issue it's good to have it all recorded.
HTH