bickering boys

**mushpea** · 29-07-2009, 05:33 PM

Hi my 8yrold son (possibly aspergers) and a mindee whos 5 both boys got on lovley when they first started, obviously i didnt expect it to last but this last week they have done nothing but bicker and argue and its driving me up the wall

when the fought onthe play equipment at the park i sat them on the bench for 5 mins with no play, when they argued over a board game and couldnt be resolved i put the game away and told them that it wouldnt come out again till tommoro (its a much loved game),
this is the sort of thing i am doing with them but not sure how else to stop them bickering or arguing.
dose any one have any experiance of this? could you give me some tips and ideas of how to deal with it please?

**Alibali** · 29-07-2009, 05:39 PM

If you have any ideas please let me know too!!! My own ds's 10 and 7 bicker continually, I've taken to ignoring it unless there's blood or broken bones! Don't suppose it's easy to do that with a mindee though.

A nice glass of wine tonight should help

**Tatjana** · 29-07-2009, 05:46 PM

I love to know as well! My 2 ds are constantly bickering

xx

**mushpea** · 29-07-2009, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Alibali

If you have any ideas please let me know too!!! My own ds's 10 and 7 bicker continually, I've taken to ignoring it unless there's blood or broken bones! Don't suppose it's easy to do that with a mindee though.

A nice glass of wine tonight should help

pouring as we speak

i do somtimes say to them ' right get on with then but when your hurt dont come crying to me' but thats when i am at the end of my tehter and of course i do keep an eye on them so i dosent get to mad

~Chelle~ · 29-07-2009, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Alibali

If you have any ideas please let me know too!!! My own ds's 10 and 7 bicker continually, I've taken to ignoring it unless there's blood or broken bones! Don't suppose it's easy to do that with a mindee though.

A nice glass of wine tonight should help

I have two sons aged 10 and 7 too and they are best friends one minute and killing each other the next!!

**Alibali** · 29-07-2009, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by mushpea

pouring as we speak

i do somtimes say to them ' right get on with then but when your hurt dont come crying to me' but thats when i am at the end of my tehter and of course i do keep an eye on them so i dosent get to mad

Think I'll join you in the wine, cheers!!!

**Joda** · 29-07-2009, 06:10 PM

Yep, my 2 ds (twins aged 8) are constantly argueing and fighting! Shipped them off to Grandma's for a few hours today and it was great with just the mindee's!

**Alibali** · 29-07-2009, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by Joda

Yep, my 2 ds (twins aged 8) are constantly argueing and fighting! Shipped them off to Grandma's for a few hours today and it was great with just the mindee's!

Hee hee, I shipped one of mine off to Grans too

No bickering when you only have one

(dd 16 so doesn't bicker any more!)

**Tiger Lilly** · 29-07-2009, 07:31 PM

Mine are girl 8 and boy 5 and have been also bickering all week!!! We made a Kindness chart (sticker) , so they have to be kind to each other to get sticker and then when they get 2 rows we can go swimming(its free). I will let you know if it works, we only make it tonight.........I hope it does, i cant cope with this untill september

**mandy moo** · 30-07-2009, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by ~Chelle~

I have two sons aged 10 and 7 too and they are best friends one minute and killing each other the next!!

SNAP..
My boys are 10 & 7 too and are exactly thesmae!!

**loocyloo** · 30-07-2009, 07:57 AM

my own 2 are 4 & 7 ... sounds so familiar!

we've got a 'marble jar' at the moment ... if they do something nice/good/kind/helpful, they can add a marble to the jar, either together or individually, and then if someone isn't kind, or they fight or .... then a marble is taken out!

the theory being that they have to work together to fill the jar ( total 24 marbles, started with 12 in jar! ) and when it has reached the top they can have a small reward.

it is sort of working - they argue about who is making them lose marbles! but they have been been a bit better!

good luck everyone!

**Twinkles** · 30-07-2009, 08:11 AM

When my two eldest were young they would argue about........who would go out of the front door first , who would get in the car first , who would sit where in the car .....................are you getting the picture ? I think it's pretty much a universal thing and you are handling it well , there isn't really anything you can do to stop it alltogether , just contain it so they don't drive you insane.

**Twinkles** · 30-07-2009, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by loocyloo

my own 2 are 4 & 7 ... sounds so familiar!

we've got a 'marble jar' at the moment ... if they do something nice/good/kind/helpful, they can add a marble to the jar, either together or individually, and then if someone isn't kind, or they fight or .... then a marble is taken out!

the theory being that they have to work together to fill the jar ( total 24 marbles, started with 12 in jar! ) and when it has reached the top they can have a small reward.

it is sort of working - they argue about who is making them lose marbles! but they have been been a bit better!

good luck everyone!

I know who makes me lose my marbles !

**mushpea** · 30-07-2009, 08:35 AM

me too!! not many marbles left in my jar

i think i worry about it cause i dont want the little boy to think all i do all day is tell him off (even though its his own doing!), like the marble idea, have been thinking of doing some sort of chart with 5 mins slots so they can loose or can the slots and then trade them for time on the Wii the next day, they both love the wii especialy as the little chap hasent got one at home.

**sweets** · 30-07-2009, 08:38 AM

my nan would say 'il bang your heads together' lol

Not my recomendation though! lol especcially with mindees

**tigger** · 30-07-2009, 08:48 AM

Mine are too! Dd 11 and ds 5 started on day 1 and still going strong. You'd like to think that they would get bored of it but no. As we are going away (hopefully) have tried saying you need to be kind to each other otherwise we might have to rethink going away. So far, so good. Not an ideal thing to say to them but we haven't been away for ages so it might just do the trick!
If not i'll be pouring very shortly!

**mandy moo** · 01-08-2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by mushpea

me too!! not many marbles left in my jar

i think i worry about it cause i dont want the little boy to think all i do all day is tell him off (even though its his own doing!), like the marble idea, have been thinking of doing some sort of chart with 5 mins slots so they can loose or can the slots and then trade them for time on the Wii the next day, they both love the wii especialy as the little chap hasent got one at home.

I lost all mine years ago.. according to DH

I m gonna try the marble thing too.. If I can findany

**FizzysFriends** · 01-08-2009, 12:59 PM

I think you are all missing the obvious.....................................Gaffa Tape

**mummyroysof3** · 01-08-2009, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by FizzysFriends

I think you are all missing the obvious.....................................Gaffa Tape

**MissTinkerbell** · 01-08-2009, 03:00 PM

I've dd who's 6 and 3 year old twins and our house has been one long bickering sessions since school broke up.

I like the marble idea so might give that a try otherwise by Sept 8th I may have been taken away in a straight jacket!!!