really had enough of my playgroup

**mozarella** · 21-07-2009, 10:44 AM

I went back today as it was the last day before the holiday, today I had to bring my 11 months old and the two children, my son usually goes with his grandma. So I decided to go early ( 9.30 am) as opposed to my usual time (10.30) so the children had time to play before going home for lunch. Usually all the CM arrives at 9.30 / 10 am !!

Today, they all arrived at 10.30 / 11.00 am as they had plan a lunch , thanks for telling me, they had my contact details they could have text to tell me the plan, i didnt bring food for my son so I couldnt stay.

Then the children were doing baking, one of my mindee as a flour allergy, she cant breathe it or touch it but once mixed it is fine. So I did the mixing for her and then she could do the bread shapes and I was telling the childminders to please be carefull with the flour, I had set my mindee in a corner so she was fine. Well, they said, she shouldnt be baking, basically pushed her away from table and told her to draw somewhere else !

and they still dont speak, they were talking about their own holiday plans and I was clearly not included or made included ! TBH I dont think I even want to do anything with them anymore, we are much happier to do our little outings on our own

**nannymcflea** · 21-07-2009, 10:54 AM

So when you are planning these activities are allergies included? If this is a cm group are you all included in the planning or is it a toddler group where cm's go? If it's a toddler group could you get involved with helping to plan the activities,setting up,packing away etc?

If it's just a cm group do you have an early years co-ordinator that could come along and view your group so you can put your ideas/fears to her and she could help with any issues there may be in the group and aslo perhaps bring in some external agencies to do chats on things that may be relevant to all the members of your group?

Sorry, it must be hard, could you set up your own group, perhaps find other cm who share your views, is there someone you could ask about new minders in your area?

**mumof1** · 21-07-2009, 11:04 AM

so sorry you are going through this.

If it really is upsetting you, then why not try going to a different group. If you are upset then your children will be upset also.

Could they be like this cause your a new childminder and they are worried of you taking any business away from them?

**Tatjana** · 21-07-2009, 11:27 AM

Oh my goodness they sound awful, I can't believe they did that to your mindee, have they not heard of 'inclusion'?

Doesn't seem much point in going there eh.

xx

**huggableshelly** · 21-07-2009, 11:36 AM

wow I wouldnt want to go there!

do you know who runs it? can you complain to the "manager" as it was ratherunfair for them to treat you or any child in that manner. So rude!

**mozarella** · 21-07-2009, 11:49 AM

Thanks for thr replies, so i know it is not being overreacting then ! There is a network coodinator but she didnt bother to contact me and you should complian to her if you have a problem, otherwise I dont know who to but TBH i dont want to make such a fuss and rather find somewhere else.

If i had know about the baking I would have made sure I had something for my mindee suitable but related to the baking. What annoyed me is that she was ok to take part as long as she was left in her corner with no flour !!

I dont know any childminders that is why I went their to try to make some friends too.

**Twinkles** · 21-07-2009, 11:57 AM

Is there another childminders group near you ? If there is it might be a good idea to make a fresh start at a new one.
These other minders have obviously upset and annoyed you and you may not feel happy to continue there whereas another group may be better.

Sometimes these things are not done deliberately to hurt anyone else ( the lunch thing ) but often people can be thoughtless or just so wrapped up in what they're doing they they forget about others.

Perhaps they got hold of the wrong end of the stick about mindee and flour and thought they were expected to supervise her.

If there is not another group you can go to I'd say - deep breath , big smile and go back. I know you say you are happy to do things on your own but the friendship of other minders can be invaluable.

**The Juggler** · 21-07-2009, 12:23 PM

Try the one at your local children's centre. I've found that after initially visiting, most of the childminders who are like this don't attend. You only seem to get the friendly ones who make an effort with other CM's and the children who like to go along. Mainly because they don't get to stand or sit around and drink tea -they have to interact with the children!

I would suggest giving this a go.

LOL

**sarah707** · 21-07-2009, 05:14 PM

How awful!

I used to manage a group and it was great while my 2 were small.

I went back there a while ago and I was totally ignored. It made me really sad. In my day we used to be so welcoming.

I hope you find somewhere else locally you can go with nice people

**cherry pink** · 21-07-2009, 07:31 PM

oh thats awful your poor mindee....personally i would have asked them if they had a problem, but that would have been gob first, brain engaging later

..

try and go back next time perhaps asking them if they would like to join up for a picnic and playdate at the park,, if no response stuff em and find another nice group elsewhere