How to stop my lo from biting

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 01:16 PM

My little boy's 14 months old and is going through a really bad biting phase!!!
Got red marks and bruises evrywhere as he likes to pinch aswell.
Am worried this will be a problem when i'm minding so want to put a stop to it ASAP.
Any advice????

The amount of people that have told me to bite and pinch him back is unreal.
But am not going to do this!

Any advice GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!! XXXX

**sarah707** · 18-07-2009, 02:08 PM

Consistency is the key.

If you put him down and speak to him using the same firm words every time he does it, he will learn that it is not acceptable.

There is usually no need to shout, it just draws attention to himself, which is probably what he's aiming for - unless he does it when he is over excited in which case it will help even less as it's a calming moment he needs rather than more noise.

I have a little one at the moment who pinches and it's not nice so I do sympathise. xx

**The Juggler** · 18-07-2009, 02:11 PM

a very firm no, we don't bite. that hurts mummy. Or, that hurts and makes me sad. Even cry if you have tears in your eyes, that might have an impact to see he's made you cry.

Then put him down or move him gently away from you or other person.

He's very young to explain anything more than that really and it is a natural phase. If he's doing it in anger then maybe say I know you're angry but.... or if he does it when he's over excited or emotional (happy) then say I know you're excited but that hurts. Then maybe say ow loudly and rub it.

If he's teething it might be worth providing him with something to hold/carry that he can have a good chew on. Not sure what the latest things are but maybe something you can attach to him/his clothes with those clips (like the dummy ones) so it's there when he needs it.

Good luck. let us know how you get on.

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 03:12 PM

Good advice given. Many thanks! He does it mstly when he's over excited and happy. I've tried crying but he thinks it's a game, laughs and does it even more!

**The Juggler** · 18-07-2009, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by katieskatie

Good advice given. Many thanks! He does it mstly when he's over excited and happy. I've tried crying but he thinks it's a game, laughs and does it even more!

ooh. cheeky monkey. definitely try the ow then with as serious a face as you can muster. def put him down, and walk away if you can after telling him no. Good luck

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 03:26 PM

will let you know how i get on!

**margimum** · 18-07-2009, 03:34 PM

Can you manage to get his own finger into his mouth so he bites himself? At least he will see how much it hurts However I would NEVER suggest you bite him yourself that's barbaric!

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 03:36 PM

that's the thing he bites himself aswell and cries so he knows it hurts!

**CCJD** · 18-07-2009, 03:40 PM

It always feels far worse when it's one if your own doing the biting rather than a mindee. For some reason we feel as though it reflects somehow on us or our setting.
My son tried biting but did it only 3 times before deciding maybe he might not. I didn't bite or pinch him back but nor was there lengthy conversation and gentle words either. I felt it very important that he knew there and then ( bearing in mind he was around 14 months and understanding limited) that I was VERY cross. He got a fierce "NO" and got imediately dumped on the floor away from me. He got the message loud and clear that i was not happy with it- no room for mixed signals or thinking it was a game.
A bit harsh maybe for some but it's just not something I was prepared to put up with. One of my mindees greeted his mum this week by kicking her in the shin. She was cross and shouted "no" at him which I thought was very effective - he knew right away that she was not happy and cried. The minute she saw that though she picked him up gave loads of cuddles and"baby you musnt do that because it hurts mummmy .....". All he heard was mummy shouted no, I cried and then got cuddles - I think we can safely say she'll be receiving a few more kicks in the shins over the coming weeks.
I am not advocating hitting , pinching or evenshouting but with limited understanding, young children have to know there and then what action was wrong and unwanted. Firmness and above all consistancy will sort this issue out but show weakness ( I am a firm believer that children smell weakness) and the phase will last alot longer.
There is loads of time for loving cuddles - when I am telling off isn't one of them though.

**ORKSIE** · 18-07-2009, 03:40 PM

Take his teeth out

Seriously tho, hope you sort it out

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 03:45 PM

he's a little monkey because after he's hurt me he likes giving me hugs, kisses ans pats me on th back to 'make me better' then 5 mins later he's doing the same thing!

**margimum** · 18-07-2009, 03:50 PM

I'm a bit (no pun intended!) stumped then!
Gum shield?
Keep sticking dummy in?

I think you should try shock him by shouting "ow" and very quickly put him down. Withdraw yourself from him and look sad.
Please be assured it's usually a short phase (he'll move onto much worse things!!) and it's doubtful he'll bite other children.
As he gets more vocal he will learn to express his feelings and frustrations in less painful ways.

**chewy sweets** · 18-07-2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by margimum

I'm a bit (no pun intended!) stumped then!
Gum shield?
Keep sticking dummy in?

I think you should try shock him by shouting "ow" and very quickly put him down. Withdraw yourself from him and look sad.
Please be assured it's usually a short phase (he'll move onto much worse things!!) and it's doubtful he'll bite other children.
As he gets more vocal he will learn to express his feelings and frustrations in less painful ways.

Yeh at the moment it's only me he bites!

But i'm going to try putting him down after he's biten me because he does like being held. Hopefuly it might work if i distance myself from him!

**The Juggler** · 18-07-2009, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by katieskatie

Yeh at the moment it's only me he bites!

But i'm going to try putting him down after he's biten me because he does like being held. Hopefuly it might work if i distance myself from him!

it will and look as serious as you can. No cuddles until you're all better even if he comes over to rub/cuddle you. Say thank you for saying sorry but you can't pick him up until it stops hurting?