Its Monday morning and parent is having a bad hair day!

**cuffleygirl** · 23-03-2009, 08:28 AM

Hi

Had to moan (get it off my chest) I have a parent who is always late despite being spoken to and being charged huge late fees - more late fees than fees a couple of weeks ago.

Her car broke down over the weekend she says she may be a 'few minutes' late this evening to sort it out (didn't ask if it was ok just informed me).

Tonight I am going out (to parents evening) so can't accommodate a very late one. She is due at 4.30 as per contract and I am going out at 5.45 giving her 1 and quarter hours leeway, I did say that I was going out at 5.45 only fair to let her know and shouldn't be a problem as she only expected to be a few minutes late.

Apparently I am inflexible! I think it time to let her go!

**angeldelight** · 23-03-2009, 08:30 AM

Some parents can be a pain

Why dont you have one last chat with her and ask if she wants to change her contract times ?

Explain that you sometimes have your own plans and can not hang around sometimes but if she changes her times you will be able to plan better ?

Good luck

Angel xx

Pipsqueak · 23-03-2009, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by cuffleygirl

Hi

Had to moan (get it off my chest) I have a parent who is always late despite being spoken to and being charged huge late fees - more late fees than fees a couple of weeks ago.

Her car broke down over the weekend she says she may be a 'few minutes' late this evening to sort it out (didn't ask if it was ok just informed me).

Tonight I am going out (to parents evening) so can't accommodate a very late one. She is due at 4.30 as per contract and I am going out at 5.45 giving her 1 and quarter hours leeway, I did say that I was going out at 5.45 only fair to let her know and shouldn't be a problem as she only expected to be a few minutes late.

Apparently I am inflexible! I think it time to let her go!

As Angel suggests have one last chat with her - explain that you are NOT inflexible but you work to contracted times as stated by the parent - from these times you make plans and arrangements that often have to be changed and altered due to her tardiness. Tell her that you don't mind helping out on occasion - now get your attendance record out - and point out all the times she has been late and you have accomodated.

I wouldn't have given her a time that I was going out - I would have just said I have to out on time, could you make sure you are here for prompt collection. She will think, by you giving her a time, that she has "extra" time.

Use your insurance for an excuse - you have contracted times so that your insurance covers the child in your care - you will have to charge substantially more if these times are infringed because your insurance is then used outside of contracted times (I am sure you can perhaps say it more eloquently than what I am doing!!! lol). Tell her that you have contracted time to ensure that you are not going over your numbers - this would be a breach of the law and you could get into serious trouble blah blah.

I think she has a cheek - accusing you of being inflexible and I would be have a stern chat with her

**Bushpig** · 23-03-2009, 09:16 AM

How would she like to have to work overtime everyday sans notice??? What a cheek!

The posts before have given good advice - I use the insurance one often myself.

**cuffleygirl** · 23-03-2009, 10:17 AM

I have had the stern chat already - I have explained that despite the fact that I have another child who stays later, that her erratic arrival times disrupt tea (during or after never before) I think this is part of it, she wants her child fed - I have offered to feed him regularly and move contracted times, she for whatever reason is not willing (although will accept his meal as long as she is not charged).

I have substantially increased late fees which work out at 4 x times the hourly rate, I have charged her for a missed cinema trip for my children in half term (she was an hour and a half late) we missed the film with pre-booked tickets and I had told her in the morning. On one occasion when I needed her to be on time she suggested I took the day off (I wouldn't be paid) as then she could take a leavers day because she couldn't guarantee she could leave on time?!

I'm not being unreasonable am I? I love her child as part of the family he has been here six years, and things haven't always been this bad in fact the opposite. But I have had enough of this. Oh for Xmas I got a tube of blue smarties as a gesture of her appreciation (with the buy one get one free sticker still on!)

**Mouse** · 23-03-2009, 10:24 AM

If you have tried to sort things out with her (and it sounds as if you really have tried hard), I would tell her that you may have to consider ending the contract as it is causing too much disruption for you, your family & the other children.

It might make her think about her behaviour, but if it doesn't, I would let her go.

**angeldelight** · 23-03-2009, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by cuffleygirl

I have had the stern chat already - I have explained that despite the fact that I have another child who stays later, that her erratic arrival times disrupt tea (during or after never before) I think this is part of it, she wants her child fed - I have offered to feed him regularly and move contracted times, she for whatever reason is not willing (although will accept his meal as long as she is not charged).

I have substantially increased late fees which work out at 4 x times the hourly rate, I have charged her for a missed cinema trip for my children in half term (she was an hour and a half late) we missed the film with pre-booked tickets and I had told her in the morning. On one occasion when I needed her to be on time she suggested I took the day off (I wouldn't be paid) as then she could take a leavers day because she couldn't guarantee she could leave on time?!

I'm not being unreasonable am I? I love her child as part of the family he has been here six years, and things haven't always been this bad in fact the opposite. But I have had enough of this. Oh for Xmas I got a tube of blue smarties as a gesture of her appreciation (with the buy one get one free sticker still on!)

She sounds like a nightmare to be honest

If she was not always like this though what changed ?

I too would have another chat to her and explain you might have to end the contract

Good luck keep us posted

Angel xx

**sammy** · 23-03-2009, 10:34 AM

Apart from changing your contracted hours, i would suggest calling her emergency contact and get them to collect if shes not on time, im sure if her other half/friend was getting a call then she wouldnt be happy about that.

You cant have her taking the pee, you are more than accomodating, and i would be firm now.

good luck,

**SmartKids** · 23-03-2009, 10:58 AM

I know exactly how you feel - I had a parent like yours - she was single and had no family nearby and to start with I felt sorry for her. Not only though did she pick up late but she would come in and ask to put the kettle on - WHAT A CHEEK! - her child has now moved on to school and I can't believe I finish on time most nights. I put up with this for 2 years wish I could have ended it but never could - must be too soft. Good luck with your decision.

**angeldelight** · 23-03-2009, 11:00 AM

Originally Posted by SmartKids

I know exactly how you feel - I had a parent like yours - she was single and had no family nearby and to start with I felt sorry for her. Not only though did she pick up late but she would come in and ask to put the kettle on - WHAT A CHEEK! - her child has now moved on to school and I can't believe I finish on time most nights. I put up with this for 2 years wish I could have ended it but never could - must be too soft. Good luck with your decision.

She asked you to put the kettle on ? Crikey

Angel xx

**SmartKids** · 23-03-2009, 12:01 PM

I got wise and always had my shoes on ready to go out and whilst she was getting her lil one in the car I would get in mine - some days wondering where I should go - not that it made her come any earlier. Some people I'm sure don't think we have anything else to do other than look after their child - I increased my late pick up fee to try and put her off but no - I even had to ring once and she had gone home and fallen asleep!! I could never be late for my children - they would never forgive me either! Nothing worked it was just the way she!

**claires** · 23-03-2009, 02:20 PM

Sorry but I'm still laughing at the tube of Smarties!!!!

xx

LOOPYLISA · 23-03-2009, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by claires

Sorry but I'm still laughing at the tube of Smarties!!!!

xx

Me too

Lady Haha · 23-03-2009, 02:31 PM

Yes, the smarties thing is funny!

Seriously though, it sounds as if you have done everything you can. Can you afford to end the contract? Out of all the things you mentioned, the one thing that really shocked me was her turning up late and your kids having to miss a cinema trip in half term. I would be fuming! It's not just the pre booked tickets that needed to be refunded here, it's the disappointment for your own kids that really upsets me! How she can do that even though you told her in advance! Sounds like she doesn't care about how it affects you and your family.

If it was me and I could afford it, I would give her notice just for that.