How?

[tigger]

It was one of my mindees last day today. I found it really hard work as I found her behaviour really challenging. When asking the parents if they had any concerns about her development they said no. I personally think there was more too it than the parents shared with me, but what can you do in that sort of situation. How do you go about letting parents know that you have concerns about their child's behaviour and development without offending them?

[angeldelight]

If it was the childs last day and you thing there are problems I am sure that one way or another in the future that the parents will find this out

Dont worry about it now though its not your concern and at least you did try

I always try to have a friendly chat with parents if their childs behaviour is challenging but you do really need them to support what you do so you can work together otherwise the child is going to get confused

It is difficult if a parent does not agree though and you can only do your best for the child it just makes your job harder

Angel xx

[helenlc]

My almost 3 yr old mindee is very challenging but I am lucky in that Mum is very approachable. She is more than aware of L's behaviour and is accepting of comments I make about his behaviour on any given day without taking offense.

Someone on another thread suggested making your observations and then saying to parents words to the effect of Having done some observations, I am a little concerned about Xs lack of ability to play with other children/snatching toys/pushing etc". Then go on to explain what you have observed and if you have noticed any reason for the behaviour ie doesnt like a crowded toddler group, gets bored waiting etc. Then give ideas for how you are going to address the behviour.

I find though that although Mum says she does time out with my mindee at home, I cant be sure of that. So although I have him full time, I am aware that any progress I might make can all be undone at home. It can be frustrating at times.

[Daftbat]

Its easier to talk to parents about concerns if you manage to have the odd social chat over coffee anyway. I know its difficult sometimes as i have some parents who are always wanting to stop and have a coffee and a chat and others who are like a wirlwind when they pick up and are gone before i can say anything at all.

If you do need to talk to a parent always remember that you are a trained professional and if you have been minding for a while will have had far more experience of children in general than the parent. Tell them that you are acting out of concern for both the child and the parent and want to help. I have had a couple of experiences where the parent was actually really appreciative of my concern as they knew there was a problem but had absolutley no idea how to deal with it.