Advice desperately needed please re:breastfed baby

**Nannymurray** · 26-11-2008, 08:53 PM

Hi. Any advice welcome.
I have been minding a little lad since the beginning of september two days a week, he was 2.5 months old when he began and is now just over 5 months old. He is fully breastfed and I accepted him knowing this. His father has severe allergies and it is therefore important to then both that he doesn't have formula. I fully support breastfeeding having done so for both my two and was keen to help. The plan was she would express for me to bottle feed.
On the days I don't mind I work elsewhere. I have 2 children of my own age 3 and 16 months.
The problem is, apart from the very early days when he was tiny and only here for a few hours, she has never been able to supply me with more than one feed, which he usually needs within 15 mins of arriving. We got round this by her coming back from work( v close) and feeding him in the front room.
He is demand fed, a hungry baby and quite snacky, even at home going only 1.5 hour between feeds. Even with her coming he would be content for no more than 30 mins after a feed and then screaming for more. I spend my days walking round.jiggling, singing to, and soothing an inconsolable baby. I am very responsive to his needs and am always on top of his other wants, nappy, wind, cuddles, tiredness que's, need for entertainment etc the thing is it is never me who sorts him out, always mummy so he cries until he gets her.
Fussiness and frequent feeding was becoming a problem at home too so she took him to the GP, who said he was leading us a merry dance and that the problem was his hungry sensors were so used to being full, that even just not being full to overflowing gave him signals. She advised 3 hours between feeds. This has been in place for 3 weeks now and he is still only content for 30 mins. I keep having to call her. My own children are suffering as a result as I am so run ragged my time is not evenly distributed, I am super stressed and the little man himself is Not happy. Any suggestions, similar experiences? I have outlined my problems openly with his mum, done a daily diary report for her and suggested(in a non pushy way considering formula/breast mix)
Thanks for reading

**sarah707** · 27-11-2008, 07:59 AM

Welcome to the forum!

It is a form of cruelty not to feed a baby when they are hungry. Even if the doc is right and the baby is crying for the sake of it, he clearly needs a comforter of some description.

Have you tried a dummy?

Otherwise he will still get the benefit of breast milk by feeding say morning, lunch and tea... with bottles of formula as needed in between.

You are not doing yourself, your family or the baby any favours by what is happening and you clearly cannot carry on like this. Mum needs to realise and either stop work to feed her baby all day or give you the tools to keep him settled.

hope this helps xx

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 27-11-2008, 08:09 AM

I agree with Sarah. The poor little thing and you too.

**crazybones** · 27-11-2008, 08:10 AM

If he is 5 1/2 months now - maybe it is time to introduce some food. I know they say 6 months these days but if he is so hungry maybe some baby rice would be the way to go? Dummy is a great idea too.

**Minstrel** · 27-11-2008, 08:51 AM

Also asked mum to leave you a t shirt she has been wearing. Babies are very sensitive to their mothers smells and he maybe very calmed by her scent whilst she is not there.

**Blaze** · 27-11-2008, 10:12 AM

Great advice been given...I fully agree with what sarah has said.

My son has a LOT of allergies...lactose & soy being 2 (from newborn...both also contained in breastmilk, although I admit at a lower dose than formula usually) ...he had special formula...they need to bite the bullet & address this issue.

**katickles** · 27-11-2008, 10:16 AM

That must be such a traumer on the lo?!?

I agree with Sarah & Annie. The lo is clearly communicating for food & maybe they should be introducing solids at this stage.

Has mum spoken to HV about this?

Its no way for mum to be working, having to keep coming back to feed baby is it & its not nice for you & your family.

**singlewiththree** · 27-11-2008, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by Blaze

Great advice been given...I fully agree with what sarah has said.

My son has a LOT of allergies...lactose & soy being 2 (from newborn...both also contained in breastmilk, although I admit at a lower dose than formula usually) ...he had special formula...they need to bite the bullet & address this issue.

I have to agree here, are there any other symptoms. My eldest was fully breastfed, every hour! but I had nothing better to do, it was awful for my mum when I went to work she ended up only giving her 3oz at a time just to try and pacify her until I came home I ended up with exhaustion and postnatal depression and giving up work. However, it turned out my daughter was dairy intolerant and that even me eating a little was causing her tummy ache and constipation and colic. My DD3 has the same luckily I recognised it straight away and she was diagnosed properly after also reaction to soya formula and ended up on nutramigen.

Some breastfed babies do just love to snack as they love the comfort like someone suggested a blanket with her smell, dummy, teddy or perhaps the mum needs a better pump does she have an electric or manual. I was lucky I used to get tons of milk when I expressed especially at work at my boobs were used to someone feeding every hour so I would get between 10-12oz in my lunch break!

She could contact a breastfeeding counsellor for advice either NCT or la Leche as they would be able to advice re: the length of time in between feeds.

The snacker bf daughter was on solids very very early due to her problems however when my youngest was diagnosed she waited until 7mths so perhaps she is just hungry?

**Lincsminder** · 27-11-2008, 02:08 PM

Its not easy but definitely not impossible for her to express more milk, he is only with you 2 days so she has 5 others to build up quite a stock which can be frozen. There are lots of tips and tricks on the kellymom website that she could look at and she could even invest in an electric pump. This might help until she feels he is ready for some solids, which won't be that much longer.

**loocyloo** · 27-11-2008, 06:31 PM

no advice, just big hugs to you and everyone!

hope the health visitor or nct or la leche can help.

xxx

**Janeyc** · 01-12-2008, 10:22 AM

oooh no advice-i dont really know what to say-but this must be an awful situation for the baby-and you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All my lo's have been fully breastfed and im tandem feeding my 3yr and 11mth old now.Mine all "snack feed"and so consequently the baby "feeds"as you describe(and yes he eats solids and is a whopping 2stone plus-as have they all!

)Its what a b/f baby is used to and is "normal".I think its gotta be tough on the babe,you and his mum-dunno how you all cope tbh.I can express and its perfectly possible-but tbh it doesnt sound like its really the hunger-rather the bond etc that b/fing brings-tough one-id not be happy doing it as a CM(too much hard work!)and id not be happy leaving my baby either-sorry not helpful i know,but lotsa sympathy to you.jxxxxxxxxx

**gegele** · 07-12-2008, 11:24 PM

well done to you to have lasted that long!!!
the mum needs to face the fact: she's not ready to go back to work, not even just a few days!!! I would stop minding until they sort the situation as they're just stressing everybody Baby especially.
it's a lose - lose - lose situation. parents are not happy, you're not happy and that poor baby is not happy so why keeping going?

you've done you're best to support them but they're not really supporting you. 5days it's plenty of time to express enough for 2 days especially if she can even come during her lunch!

good luck