Do you invite mindees to social events?

[RedDragon]

Reason I am asking is - last night I saw a few CM's in my village who were happily taking their own children plus their mindees trick or treating.

On the 1 hand (especially for the parents) it looks like the CM is fantastic - doing extra for free, putting in lots of fun time with the mindees, you can take photos to show OFSTED etc etc.

But on the other hand - I wonder if their own children would prefer the CM mum to themselves after "sharing" her all week.


Personally, once my working day is over the last thing I want to do is carry on for free.

I did it once 2 years ago - took a mindee trick or treating - mum picked him up in her nice warm car 2 hours later and not even a thank you.

I hope that doesn't come out as me sounding bitchy.

[Hebs]

personally NO

my time with my own children will be very precious to all of us,

if i wanted to do something then i would have done a planned party during the day/tea time before the children left

not bitchy at all hun you need to think of your own kids first unless they ASKED for the mindees to come along

[Heaven Scent]

No it doesn't sound bad at all - perhaps these minders have a particularly good relationship with the parents or they could be friends of the family - I feel each case needs to be considered on its own metits and at the moment I only have one family on my books at the moment who I would consider doing something like this for if the occasion arose. I'm sorry to say that it is quite common place to have parents react the way you described when you go above and beyond the call of duty - some parents would milk us for every drain of blood they could sap out of us and then again others are a God send.

[elaineg]

I have one mindee who comes lots of places with us and came trick or treating and joined our halloweeen party last night, but he has become a good friend with my son so he comes as his friend rather than a mindee iyswim.

love Elaine XXX

[mrsb]

If I happen to be working then I would take them with me but I don't get them back just to come - if that makes sense?

I do get them all back free of charge for a christmas and summer party though

[madasahatter]

I try and arrange parties (Xmas, Halloween, etc) for when I've got the most mindees and I do invite the ones who are not here that day (for free). Also I have several children who leave early mid afternoon. In the holidays if we are doing something special or going on an outing further afield then I don't charge for the excess time....after all it's not the parent's decision where I'm taking them and they could insist they wanted to collect them at the normal time which could potentially spoil things for everyone.
However I wouldn't take them trick or treating! but them I finish at 5.30pm

[beerheaven]

My two daughters have become friendly with a couple of the mindees over the years. Plus I live and work in quite a small close knit community.
Therefore I do at times invite mindees to social things, really for my own children's sakes.

[childmind04]

I have some i would not mind taking but others like yourself who i have done things for and not even said thank you i would not bother

I have a party every bonfire night and all the parents are invited with the children, last year one took a strop when she asked if she could just send the kids

Susan

[Lincsminder]

I do, but thats because all my mindies are friends with my kids or I know the families really well, if they weren't I don't think I would socialise with them quite as much.
Caroline

[tulip0803]

No - I tended to go with my friends and their children. I arrange little parties and cm group have big xmas party. but I prefer my time to be mine away from mindees.

[Bushpig]

I have only done this once - took two mindees and their folks along to an Easter party at my church - they loved it!

[Bushpig]

It was on my day off too!

[Mollymop]

I was thinking about taking 1 of my mindees trick or treating but I changed my mind about it - I feel my own children would appreiciate having me to themselves. It mus tbe difficult sharing me with other kids even though they love the mindees. But I want some normality to my life. Life outside of "work"

[Schnakes]

Nope - defo wouldnt have them out of hours for free. My son got very freindly with one of the mindees and he was invited to birthday parties and things but apart from that - nooo way! I see enough of them when Im working, i really dont need to see them when Im not!

Also - I agree, my kids get much more quality time with me when Im not working, so something special (like trick or treating) would be for them and them alone. The mindees have parents - they can do it!!

Sx

[yummymummy]

It is very tempting to do this, a lesson I learned the hard way! Had an after school mindee the same age as my youngest daughter until 6.15pm every day. Mum started inviting my children over to play at weekends, took them out on birthdays and even sleepovers. Very hard to say no as both my girls really liked both mindee and mum. Once she had "buttered us all up" and made us "friends" she used me unbelievably and as I was now a "friend" I found it hard to say no as she was on her own with no local family, I was expected to pick up, drop off, dad was supposed to collect when she regularly went away but didn't turn up until 8pm! (she knew he couldn't make it any earlier but wanted to go out so just didn't bother to tell me) at the same time she no longer bothered with the girls although her son really wanted to stay as friendly but she constantly made excuses, she was I learnt doing the same thing that she had done to us to another family at school to help her out too!!
I do think this particular mum was a bit extreme, but I will now never ever get personally involved with any minded family. It is though easier now my own children are at secondary school as you don't get children of the same age, phew!

[fionamal]

I have on family that I have had since I started and they have become very good friends and we tend to do things on a Saturday night. We go to theres for dinner or they come to us, it good as the oldest doesnt come anymore since shes at school so she doesnt really see my 2 anymore other than the school hols and the baby is just a cutie and I only have her for 1.5hours per day .

I wouldnt ask any of the others though

[Saranotts]

I have taken mindees with me trick or treating for the last two years and haven't charged, but I suppose it is because I am a softy and knew that if I didn't take the children they wouldn't get to experience it as they live in the middle of nowhere and so have no neighbours they can go to. My dd has loved having someone to go with and my son has then gone to another mindees house for a halloween party so it has worked both ways.

I do know what you mean though about it not being appreciated and you do sometimes get cross because whilst some of the parents are great and appreciate the extra effort, others just take it for granted.

Sara

P.s. And I am very careful not to be too soft because there are one or two who would take you for a mug.