Bad parent questionnaire :-(

**LittleStars** · 21-10-2008, 04:45 PM

I guess I asked for feedback....so I have to take the good with the bad!

All my comments so far have been great, but I just had one back from a parent at drop off which isn't really very complimentary....

Its not really even constructive

Bit gutted really ... he has only been with me 6 weeks and I thought it was going really well.

Don't think I will show that one to the ofsted inspector

Jen

**Pudding Girl** · 21-10-2008, 04:52 PM

How bad is bad? Bad can be good, it gives you the opportunity to change stuff and THAT is what the inspectors are interested in, that you listened to a concern and changed it to something acceptable.

is it something you can tell us so we can help?

**deeb66** · 21-10-2008, 05:06 PM

I agree with George.

What was the comment?

Is it something you can improve upon?

**miffy** · 21-10-2008, 05:37 PM

I agree too - the inspector will be interested in how you have reflected on your practice and altered things so it could be a big plus for you.

HTH's you make up your mind what to do

Miffy xx

**yummymummy** · 21-10-2008, 05:39 PM

Haven't done any myself yet, gulp

But some parents perhaps take things a little too literally. Like for instance one of my mums who I know thinks the world of me and her daughter thinks that she is part of our family when approached by another prospective parent to ask about me said "well we've never had any problems"

Mind you English isn't her first language but she thought that this was high praise indeed!
So maybe this parent didn't mean to sound as harsh as she sounded perhaps? and as the others have said it could give you some ideas and a chance to reflect on your practice (ha ha you'd never know I'm just about to finish an NVQ3 would you?!!!)
It is very hurtful though when you are doing your very best and it feels as if your best isn't good enough for some, we've all been there so try not to take it to heart if you can.

**LittleStars** · 21-10-2008, 05:48 PM

Most comments were all OK ish...no glowing answers at all.

All were ok or satisfactory, nothing enthusiastic... then she has said

" I feel I need more feedback about what mindee has been doing"

" I cannot answer this question as I do not receive feedback about mindees day"

she has reinforced this in about 4 places all with very negative language

I do for mindee (who is 4yrs old )

A daily diary- detailling where we have been, who he has seen, any craft activities, what he has eaten, if he has had a nap etc

A learning journey- which she has seen

A monthly newsletter with pictures etc

A scrapbook with loads of photos which everyone sees regularly

A photo montage on the noticeboard.

Now....Mindee is 4 and is with me full time but goes to nursery every morning.

Our day

Brekkie
Drop at nursery
Pick up
Lunch
Sleep/ quiet time for at least an hour
Likes to freeplay..I often provide activities which he doesn't really want to do and if I get him to do he does them for 10mins and then wants to play.
School pickup
Supper
1/2-1 hr after supper where he plays with my boys, freeplays or watches some tv
Hometime

Im not really sure how I can improve the feedback I provide???? What does she want me to say...surely she doesn't want a list of the toys he has played with or the games he has played??

I can't physically fit anything else into our day....Its chocca.

I feel like she is insinuating that I don't do enough with him..but we do loads, infact I think I usually try to jam too much in for him as he is shattered after preschool.

Sorry to rant...I just feel really let down

**Pudding Girl** · 21-10-2008, 05:56 PM

I'd be pulling her in for a chat I think and point out that x y z you pointed out above is what you mean by feedback about day/communicating with families etc.

maybe she just doesn't realise what this is what it means? Then maybe she'd like to have another Questionnairre to fill in

**mum2two** · 21-10-2008, 05:59 PM

If it was me, I would question her. I would say that you see from the questionnaire that she is not happy with the amount of feedback you give. Explain to her, as you have above, your day, and ask her for any improvements to your communication. Explain you always welcome suggestions for ways to improve your service, and did not realise until now that she wanted more information.

Put the ball into her court as to what she wants. It does sound like you are doing more than enough, so see what she says...

**sarah707** · 21-10-2008, 07:08 PM

Have you given her a daily routine? You could do one for all parents to go out with the next newsletter.

Then ask the question ... what more do you want from me...?

Tbh you're doing more than me there I don't do diaries for over 3s except on request.

Don't be hard on yourself xx

**Spangles** · 21-10-2008, 07:13 PM

What I think would be a good idea is for you to discuss it with her, tell her what you've told us, ask what she would find helpful as you want to do your best to give her what she needs bla bla bla - come to a conclusion together, put it all down in writing, both of you sign it and attach it to her form.

Ofsted will be soooooo impressed with that - it's more impressive even than having loads of questionnaires that are brill because it shows you are asking her opinion and listening to her responses and bringing it to a satisfactory conclusion.

I think you've got a great opportunity there to be honest - I am looking on the bright side have you noticed! Ha ha!

**Fairydust** · 21-10-2008, 07:33 PM

I handed out 6 questionnaires to the parents supplied by the Care Commission & only 1 was returned. I have to say I am somewhat annoyed as I dont ask the parents for much just that they fill in a questionnaire once a year & return it in the pre-paid envelope to the Care Commission. Not much to ask? The fact that they only have to tick a few boxes and pop it in the post box surely is not that time consuming.

**busylizzie** · 21-10-2008, 07:46 PM

I agree,I would question her about it (in a nice way) and ask her what more feedback she feels she would like, offer her round for a little chat so you can show her what you do etc and still put it in my OFSED folder.

I think the questionares are more for us to show we are working in partenership and trying to listen to parents and improve than simply the parents judging us.

I had a simaliar experience last time eg for safety the parent wrote we cant really answer this as we are not with her all day but all the evidence weve collected so far

leads us to believe things are ok (the parent rated me satisfactory)

The OFSTED inspecter was really nice about it and I told her of all the ways I was trying to reassure the parent. And she gave me outstanding.

But I know it feels horrible when they write something like that.Sometimes you cant please every body.Hugs.

**Blaze** · 21-10-2008, 08:09 PM

Nothing really to add...just look on it as a positive!

Pipsqueak · 21-10-2008, 09:05 PM

Sounds like she wants you to sit down with her and chat about her little darlings day with her. Nothing in writing - because by the sounds she doesn't read it (does she have problems reading perhaps???)

Like everyone has said you can turn this into a positive - get her in for a chat - explain what you have said here and ask her what HER expectations are of you.
This will be good reflective practice for you

OFSTED will adore you.

No less gutting at the moment but remember some parents want your exclusive attention and 1 out of 6 ain't bad hun xxx

**deeb66** · 22-10-2008, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

Sounds like she wants you to sit down with her and chat about her little darlings day with her. Nothing in writing - because by the sounds she doesn't read it (does she have problems reading perhaps???)

Like everyone has said you can turn this into a positive - get her in for a chat - explain what you have said here and ask her what HER expectations are of you.
This will be good reflective practice for you

OFSTED will adore you.

No less gutting at the moment but remember some parents want your exclusive attention and 1 out of 6 ain't bad hun xxx

I totally agree!

Pull her in for a chat and document everything.

Write notes to put with the questionnaire about what you are already doing and then make detailed notes of your conversations with her and what you have agreed with the parent.

Ofsted will be mega impressed!

**loocyloo** · 22-10-2008, 04:19 PM

at least you got yours back!!!!

i gave out 8 at the beginnng of term ... one mum said she was doing a question a night ( didn't think it was that onerous! ) ... the others have said ''oh i must bring that questionaire back for you'' !!!!

i think some parents want to blow by blow account of their childs day! i do quite a detailed daily diary for each under 5, but one day when we were going to the zoo mum said '' he's never been before, i can't wait to hear all about it and what he did when he saw all the animals and all the little funny things'' .. i just thought ARGH! i took photos as usual, and wrote diary as usual, but said to mum when she picked up ... it was a long day, 4 children (3under 3! + 6yrold!) and i can't remember exactly what anyone did, but what i did remember was written down! she was fine with it, but when they went to the zoo a few weeks later, she then told me in detail almost every step of their day!!!

xxx

**JOANNE** · 23-03-2009, 01:23 PM

Crikey what more do they want.
I understand your frustration, i would be miffed at that too.

But you are doing your best and you ARE illustrating what the child does etc.
You always get 1 who however hard you try (and they possibly don`t intend to)make you feel inferior

Lady Haha · 23-03-2009, 02:21 PM

Yes, I agree you need to have a chat with her. But be careful not to sound annoyed at her replies as you DID ask!!!

I think it sounds as if she wants more verbal info at pick up etc. In your diary do you just put what mindee has done and where mindee has been? She might want to know what mindee has been saying, what mindee has learnt today etc

Whenever parents come to pick up here, I always make a point of telling them at least one thing that their child has done/said that made me laugh or worried me etc Some are interested, but some just want to get back out of the door, but at least I did my bit!

**nannymcflea** · 23-03-2009, 06:27 PM

Could she be having some anxiety at just what fun her child is having with you and not them? Some parents struggle with the idea of their children doing so well and having a good relationship with a cminder.

With a nursery it's a lot less personal, there is not such a bond between adult/child.

Or perhaps the parents would complain whatever the situation?

I'd thank them for their completed questionairre, tell them that the whole purpose of it was to iron out any issues, thank them for being honest and invite them in to have a chat to decide what would be the best practice for all involved, don't forget to mention about time taken documenting rather than playing with their child!