Parents wishes v. childs welfare

[Heidi-Hi]

Hi all,

I would appreciate your thoughts on the following: Parents insists on childminder not giving 2year old a sleep at all during the day. However, child is so tired by the afternoon that she falls asleep in high chair. Do you respect parents wishes and wake child up, or is it your duty of care to the child to let them sleep if they want to? I know nurseries and early school years if kids want to sleep, the nursery/school must let them.

Your thoughts are appreciated!

H.

[Minstrel]

i would let them sleep as i think it is cruel to keep an obviously tired child awake. could you not compromise and give half hour. might be enough to see child through till bedtime x

[mrsb]

I am in the exact same situation as you, the lil boy I mind was 18 months when I started with him and mum insisted that he was not to sleep, not even for 5 minutes, this included if he had a bad night and if he was under the eather etc

I told her I would need it in writing as ofsted would think me cruel to not let him sleep, she was fine with this and wrote a letter for me to keep on file. He was with me when I had my last inspection and when the inspector asked about sleeping arrangements I told her he is not allowed to sleep at all and I showed her the letter. She said did i realise it is a form of child abuse to prevent a child sleeping when they really need it, I said yes and then told her what I actually do which is if he falls asleep in the car or looks really tired I'll happen to go for a walk with the buggy and let him have like 10/20 mins then when I wake him up I say "come on don't go to sleep" she was fine with that and said she was glad that I wasn't depriving him from sleep.

Mum gets extremely funny if I ever say he has had a short nap so I don't actually tell her...... rightly or wrongly, I am doing what I feel is best for the child......

[fionamal]

I have always been of the beleif that if a child is tierd then they should be allowed to sleep and I always make a point of stating that to the parents when they come to visit.


Sometimes all they need is a little 20 mins nap and that then keeps them going until its bedtime.

[Pipsqueak]

No its cruel and "neglect" to allow sleep deprivation. I would try to compromise with the parent and say you will allow 1/2hr or 45 mins.
Sleep is essential for young children.

[mum22]

I too would let a tired sleep, and I do discuss this prior to taking anyone new on. My own ds is at the stage now where she doesnt sleep in day and just goes to sleep at 7pm for 12 hours, but if she does sleep in the day, then she wont sleep at 7pm, but I never not allow her a sleep, if they need it they should have it.

[Heaven Scent]

There was a thread on here a while ago about this and somone said that they spoke to ofsted on the subject and the person they spoke to said it was abuse to deny sleep to a young child. I feel that you must let the child sleep and if they are nodding off every day in the afternoon then you would probably be better to put the lo down in the morning and let her tire herself out again in the afternoon so she will sleep at night for her parents.

[Rubybubbles]

No its cruel and "neglect" to allow sleep deprivation. I would try to compromise with the parent and say you will allow 1/2hr or 45 mins.
Sleep is essential for young children.

I agree, I have never not let the children sleep it's not fair on the child!! Maybe if you say, I'll wake them by 1:30 or somthing so they are sleepy at bed time!

TBH I don;t know how the children would cope without the afternoon nap! In my years of childminding I have had 3 babies, 5 1-3 yr olds and everyone of them has slept 12:30-2:30/1pm-3pm ish and never had an effect on their bedtime routine, they wouldn;t sleep if they didn't need it

sorry off my soap box!

[Minstrel]

in my own kids if they sleep in the day then they actually sleep better at night because they are not overtired and restless.

[Heidi-Hi]

Thank you all for your replies. I totally agree - children sleep because they need it. It is not fair on us when parents put pressure on us to keep the little ones awake just so they go to bed really early to give them the 'night off'... Makes me cross

[Pipsqueak]

It might be worth saying to the parents that Ofsted frown on us if we were to deprive a child of sleep and its against our training and knowledge to do this.
Explain to them that a child functions and learns better when they have recharged their batteries and it is a lot less stressful to you, the child and perhaps them in the evenings to allow a small sleep perhaps earlier in the day.

grrrr some parents eh

(My ex-mindee - parents used to say about not allowing her a sleep as she didn't sleep at night. But I couldn't stop her from going to sleep and strangely enough the parents used to tell me their precious one must have been tired out as she slept like a log )

[Rubybubbles]

(My ex-mindee - parents used to say about not allowing her a sleep as she didn't sleep at night. But I couldn't stop her from going to sleep and strangely enough the parents used to tell me their precious one must have been tired out as she slept like a log )

hehe pips you sneaky thing

[Pipsqueak]

hehe pips you sneaky thing

who moi????

[crazybones]

I agree its abuse and cruel. My own 2 yr old son has just fell asleep now . He rarely has a sleep in the day but I would rather him sleep now and go to bed a little later (he still goes up at the same time but we will have an hour of singing, although he never gets out the bed). Otherwise he is cranky and wont eat his tea and the hour he gets to spend with his dad is a battle rather than pleasure.

[kiddiwinks]

I have same problem with 2 siblings one 3 and 1 13 months both not allowed to sleep at all in day as they say there up at night if they do.
I dont put the children down to sleep but if they fall asleep i let them then when older one starts to wake i do the same as some one else mentiond by saying Dont go to sleep we got lots of things to do and play with.


I know that when the children go home tea time with dad and they not slept with me dad lets them sleep as been round few times to drop things of they forgot and both asleep on sofa. Do they just want there money's worth by making it harder for me looking after over tiered children.

I have seen children asleep in moms car also when they came round to pay me or drop things off.

[kindredspirits]

my sons a rubbish sleeper during the day - but if he hasn't slept and its 4pm he get so cranky that i actually am forced to say ok you can sleep now and i know thats my evening out the window - part and parcel of being a parent though.

[Twinkles]

This is one thing that really annoys me. I simply won't agree to not letting a child sleep. As said before it's abuse , how would the parents like it if they were not allowed to sleep when they were tired. ( oh yeah they're parents so they know all about that ).
I will agree to keep the naps early/short but has been said I find that the more a child sleeps the more he/she sleeps.
As a parent I preferred an earlier 'controlled' nap to a 'fall asleep on the school run nap'.

[Blaze]

No its cruel and "neglect" to allow sleep deprivation. I would try to compromise with the parent and say you will allow 1/2hr or 45 mins.
Sleep is essential for young children.

I agree...been in this situation & we are not allowed to not let a child sleep...it goes against their human rights.

[angeldelight]

Some parents are just to loopy for words

Angel xx

[miss mopple]

Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture in some countries.

I refuse to wake sleeping children unless it is absolutely necessary (if we have to go out etc) and make that very clear when I take a child on.