What would you do....

**kelzunique** · 01-10-2008, 08:41 AM

...with a child who does not stop screaming? I do not mean crying, i mean screaming! He is 1 year old. Its a difficult situation because the parents spoil him completely, so he screams when all attention is not on him.

Its driving me banannas!

Advice very welcome!

**Ripeberry** · 01-10-2008, 08:46 AM

He must pause for breath sometimes! My DD1 used to do that when she was around 14 months and i would just ignore her completely and then when she went quiet i would make a fuss of her.
As soon as she started screaming again i would just ignore her again and then as soon as she calmed down then gave attention.
It's hard work, but eventually they learn that they get MORE attention when they are quiet.
Also distraction works quite well. I used to use a soft toy and make it "talk" and do funny things. They have to stop screaming to hear it!
Good luck

**Pedagog** · 01-10-2008, 08:48 AM

My niece was a bit like this when tiny, in fact she still is.

I used to look after her, and hard is it was wouldn't give her any attention when she was screaming, but the moment she stopped screaming I would pay attention to her, lots of attention. after about 3 weeks (ages I know) she hardly ever screamed for me, though she did still like to be centre of attention.

Hope that helps.

**kelzunique** · 01-10-2008, 08:55 AM

honestly he does not stop! The only time he stops is if i walk towards him, because he thinks im going to pay him attention. Its the most unbelieveable case of spoiltness ive ever seen! At the moment i am trying the ignore sreaming technique, and luckyly the other children in my care dont take any notice, although how i dont know!

**Pedagog** · 01-10-2008, 08:57 AM

I know how hard it is.

When he isn't screaming, whats he like?

**kelzunique** · 01-10-2008, 09:01 AM

catching his breath!

no, when hes eating he is lovely, and on the rare occation he does join in he is lovely, but 95% of the time he is screaming!

**Pedagog** · 01-10-2008, 09:04 AM

Developmentally whats he like? Just wondering if he is frustrated at not being able to do something.

Does music have any effect on him? , might be worth a try.

**sarah707** · 01-10-2008, 10:36 AM

I had a little one like this... he screamed for weeks.

It was very very hard.

No easy answers I'm afraid... if he's clearly not settling then give notice, if it's just his nature to scream then you have to cope until he grows out of it.

**PaulaR** · 01-10-2008, 01:41 PM

Give him back

**gemmcd** · 01-10-2008, 04:35 PM

I don't know - i have one like this - have had him from just over 6 mths and he is now 18mths - he doesn't play with anything as he is attached to my leg. If he isn't he scremas hysterically. It is very wearing. Today I realised he has a thing about rubber gloves or oven gloves (and maybe any gloves) he screamed when I put them on and stopped when they were off! He is only happy when we go out for a walk...

He is better if he isn't tired but still has to be with me constantly.

I struggle! So if you find the cure let me know!

Gemma

**LittleStars** · 01-10-2008, 04:43 PM

I had one like this...I lasted 3 weeks and gave notice. It was HORRENDOUS a proper hight pitched screaming blue murder type scream the second he didn't get his own way...and would go on all day if din't get own way or attention. Screamed when you put him in the cot for 1/2 hour then would sleep for 7 minutes.

Proper PFB!!

Was awful...I was distressed, he was, my kids were, my hubby said I turned into the ***** from hell for 3 weeks...I ended up SO stressed where as normally I adore my job

Gave notice and have not regretted it for a second....phewwww

Well done all of you who manage to ride through it!

**roseybev** · 01-10-2008, 09:43 PM

i had a 11month that screamed all day she was with another childminder for 2 days but she could not handle the scream .i did the breaking in thing 1 hour then 2 and so on this was ok.but when she started with me she screamed everyone that came into my house tryed to help but that did not work either i had to go and speak to mum told her what was happening and said i would do a dairy everyday.i brought in a buggy into the living room always had noise on in the house tv or radio,and every time she cryed i put her in the buggy and when she stoped she came out it is now 3 weeks and is great no crying and now when she is tried she just goes in the buggy.the buggy was a safe place where she could go and i knew she could not harm herself .tryed not to get streeded out it will get better

**charleyfarley** · 02-10-2008, 06:01 AM

It is so hard when they scream all the time. My new lo was a screamer in the beginning and I thought what have I let myself in for?

He screamed at everything, the stairgate being closed to the kitchen, whether I was in the room or not. Trying to put him in the travel cot to sleep was a nightmare, he'd scream that much I'd have to go and get him as I thought he'd be sick.

I carried on putting him down to sleep and eventually the screaming got less and less, now he only screams for seconds when going to sleep.
The stairgate is still closed at all times and he's finally got used to it.

Thankfully his screaming stopped after about 2 weeks but while it was going on I was totally drained by it but it not only affected lo and me but also everyone else in the house, hubby used to go and hide.

So I really feel for anyone who has a screamer

Carol xx

**angeldelight** · 02-10-2008, 06:23 AM

Wish I could help and I really feel for you

My screamer started screaming when he started at 4mths

He stopped for a short while he is almost 2 now and a young 2 at that now he screams louder and louder and can go on for hours in a tantrum

My poor head this week is going to explode

Yesterday he saw my daughter with some choc and he screamed the place down for 2 hours because he wanted it
I tried everything to distract him but he now slaps too

When he was younger I used to take him for walks sometimes it worked and he would drop off

It is worse if you have parents that dont support you and if he is spoilt then that obviously is not helping
Have a chat with them and ask what they do when he screams so you can all work together - no point in confusing him by doing different things

Good luck hope he stops soon

Hey do you want to swap my little one is older and screams louder so I dont mind swapping with you if you like haha

Angel xx

**bubbly** · 02-10-2008, 06:28 AM

I have an almost-11-month-old screamer too who screams and screams for attention. It's unbearable at times. When it all gets too much I have to put him in the playpen with lots of toys and leave the room door slightly ajar (he's in full view through the kitchen window into the conservatory).

I have to do it for my own sanity but feel terribly guilty. He loves his toys and I'd never put him in the pen without anything to play with. I just don't know what else to do. It's not a solution when my part-timer is here because she needs access to the toys in the conservatory.

Sorry I can't help but wanted you to know you're not alone on this!

**tinkerbelle** · 02-10-2008, 06:38 AM

ive got a real screamer shes 1 and is constantly carried and held at home obviously i cant do this as i have other children to look after as well as her but the minute i put her down with the toys, in her pram, to sleep etc she screams its not a cry its a shreek as if shes hurt. this can go on for hours as well ive spoke to mum and nan who the child lives with they admit its because shes spoilt but wont help by putting her down a bit more at home it drives you mad and the other children have taken to asking her to be quiet this has been going on since may with no change if she cant see you (if im behind her ) she starts when she wakes up she screams hardly ever any times when shes quiet unless i cuddle or carry her

**Schnakes** · 02-10-2008, 12:34 PM

I had a screamer. He started in May. I gave his parents notice because it was incredibly stressfull for everyone. Me, him, my family, the other children. Exactly the same. Very anxious parents barely put him down...even wore him in a sling rather than use a buggy at a year old!!! So of course, anytime I was not seeing to HIM then he screamed and screamed. So draining!! I have another little one starting this week who is taking his place and is longer hours. Hes the same age. Bit grizzly but has nothing on the other one! Im so glad I gave my notice. The atmosphere is so much more relaxed now hes not here.

Sx

**manjay** · 02-10-2008, 01:31 PM

You all have my sympathies! My newbie screamed the whole way through her hour settling in time last week and for the first hour today. I have never experienced anything like it. Luckily once it stopped she reverted back to the gorgeous little girl she is when Mum is around. I know I could not deal with it on a day to day basis

**Rubybubbles** · 02-10-2008, 01:40 PM

oh my goodness I just wanted to send you all a big fat hug

for putting up with the screamers

Only ever had it at age developement stages when expected IYSWIM, ie: when baby not crawling and you leave the room, so more SA then just screaming

I don't think I could cope tbh!

Oh Little stars what does PFB mean

**patevans** · 02-10-2008, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by kelzunique

...with a child who does not stop screaming? I do not mean crying, i mean screaming! He is 1 year old. Its a difficult situation because the parents spoil him completely, so he screams when all attention is not on him.

Its driving me banannas!

Advice very welcome!

D was like that at that age, I dreaded him coming! I persavered (sp) and he is now 1yr 5 mths and is pretty much as good as gold - he seemed to stop it over night! He still has his moments but all in all he is much better!