I want to scream and cry!!!!!!!!!!!!

**acorns** · 17-09-2008, 10:17 PM

Had a really bad week with my 14 month old mindee who's a real screamer. Any groups we have been to he cries the minute we get there, on Monday we had to leave a drop in session early as it's in a small room and the others couldn't hear themselves think, on Tuseday he screamed for an hour before he decided it might be a better idea to try and enjoy himself. I was determined not to go home, if only for my daughters sake as it's not fair on her to leave groups early when she's having a good time. Today he screamed for over an hour when I put him down for a sleep (he WAS v tired but was refusing to give in). If it wasn't for the moments when he can be quite cute & loving I think I would have sacked him!! Every time he starts up again I start thinking about how I can terminate the contract. I feel very up and down about him. I expected some crying but surely this is excessive??? He's been with me nearly two months and is my first mindee. Thanks, my rant is over.

**angeldelight** · 17-09-2008, 10:24 PM

Oh a few of us have screamers so we know how you feel

Poor you - not a nice experience when its your first job

Have you had a chat with his parents ? What is he like at home ? What do they do if he screams ?

Does he like going for walks will he sleep in his buggy - does he have sisters / brothers ?
He is used to being held by his parents all the time

How does he like to sleep - you say he is sometimes tired and cries?

All questions you need to ask them

They need to work with you on this one

But if you try everything and it still does not work you really have to consider yourself and your family

I know how you feel though and it can really stress you out

Hugs hope you get some answers from the parents and hope he settles down a little

Angel xx

**littlestar** · 17-09-2008, 10:32 PM

hello i no how you feel i had this problem with my first mindee she screamed and screamed and when i took to groups she was worse never left cos my daughter loved it but i could feel all eyes on me all asking is she like this all the time but she slowly calmed down edging her away from me slipping down my legs till she was sat on the floor it drove me mad and i wondered why? id put myself and my girl threw this. but little one was breast feed on demand still! and was very cuddly she is ok now but i nearly said enough and never emagined taking another one didnt think id cope but when i did she got better i promise it gets better they just need to get to grips with things and some take longer much longer thank others

**sarah707** · 18-09-2008, 06:51 AM

I've had a screamer and it's very very hard.

Some days I dreaded him coming...

It's up to you what you want to do for the future, only you know your own tolerance level.

You do need to be totally honest with the parents though.

Good luck xx

**miffy** · 18-09-2008, 07:13 AM

Dealing with a child's constant screaming is very wearing especially when you've other children to look after too.

I agree you should talk to the parents and see whether this happens at home too and how they cope if it does

Good luck - hope things settle down for you soon

Miffy xx

LOOPYLISA · 18-09-2008, 08:58 AM

Just want to say good luck, i feel for you all x

**charleyfarley** · 18-09-2008, 09:16 AM

Yours makes my screamer look like an angel

Talk to the parents about how he is, is he the same when they take him places.

How long have you had him for? Has he always been like this?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Carol xx

**SARAHW26** · 18-09-2008, 09:32 AM

i Know just how you feel, I have just taken on a 7 month old, and thats all he does all day, hes's the first child and is obvious that he sits on mums knee all day, which I can't possible do.
Felt like crying my eyes out Tuesday, but we'll see how we go. Dread Tuesdays now!!!

**acorns** · 18-09-2008, 12:15 PM

Thanks, I have been brutally honest with the parents since the start & they just feel bad that he's like this with me. Mum did tell me he was very hard work and he does have days like that with her & she is so gratfeul that he's with me. As he is her only one he's cuddled a lot & goes in their bed, hasn't mixed much with other kids, all things that are a recipe for disaster when he comes to me. Do you think I should be mentioning to the parents that I may not be able to carry on much longer if I dont see any changes. I'm worried that if I do it could cause a confrontation . I get the feeling that he has mum and dad wrapped around his tiny fingers at this young age & I think he will always be a challenge. As I already have my own Son who is very challenging at times I really dont need another one. My OH is encouraging me to stick it out & is very supportive as he's been here & heard it all for himself.

**Twinkles** · 18-09-2008, 12:21 PM

Sounds like a few of us have /have had 'challenging ' children !

A age 9m only comes to me two days a week and is a little angel - all the while he's being held

He goes to granny the other two days and I'm sure he's carried around everywhere. He's unable to sit for even five minutes on the floor to play.

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 18-09-2008, 12:30 PM

There is good advice here

I would definately speak to mum and dad as you need to know how they deal with it. Bet they pick him up!!

Good luck

**Minstrel** · 18-09-2008, 12:39 PM

'I may not be able to carry on much longer if I dont see any changes. I'm worried that if I do it could cause a confrontation .'

If you put it to them that you are thinking only of him and the fact that he is not happy with you, then i dont see how they cannot see your point. good luck x

**LisaH** · 18-09-2008, 01:16 PM

My youngest mindee is nearly 2 now and she was just the same when she started with me a year ago!! She wanted to be held and carried constantly which I just couldnt do.

She's much better now tho thank goodness and a delight to have around!!
She eventually got the message that i was not going to cuddle her all day and settled after a few weeks!
It's hard work but sometimes it is worth sticking it out.

**breezy** · 18-09-2008, 06:32 PM

my screamer is 6 months old and spoiled rotten, constantly held and entertained, I've had her nearly 2 months now and she's slowly settling, thing is it's good I only have her 2 days aweek, but on the other hand, just as shes settled shes off again! shes always better on the second day than the first, but I find her exhausting!

You must look at whats right for you and your family though because it's so disrupting and the other children tend to be neglected a bit while you deal with a screamer, also it can leave you tired and ratty!

hope things sort themselves out for you though