Self feeding

**ma7ie** · 17-09-2008, 07:31 PM

Hi all.

In march this year I posted a thread about a 17 month old boy I care for who was showing absolutely no interest in feeding himself and expected me to do everything for him including finger foods.

He is 2 at the beginning of October and I am still having the same problem.

I'm at my wits end. He doesn't eat a thing by himself and if left to himself he just wouldn't eat. He's a good eater, so long as someone is feeding him.

Unfortunately I have got a 9mth little girl just started with me and I don't have time to feed the pair of them - to be honest I don't see why I should.

I made egg mayonaise sandwiches for lunch today for ease of feeding and the baby fed herself while 2yr old looked at me expecting me to place food in his mouth. I didn't give in and after half an hour had to take his plate away untouched.

Please help. I don't know what to do.

**haribo** · 17-09-2008, 07:45 PM

ive not had experience of this, its usually the other way round where theyre trying to feed themselves , but was wondering ,is he slow in any other area of development, does he understand you when you talk to him in general? does he help himself in other ways like reaching for toys ? id ask theparents how they deal with it if you havent already. some people dont like the mess of a baby feeding itself, and dont give the opportunity

sorry not much help x

**sarah707** · 17-09-2008, 07:48 PM

What do parents say?

We have to follow parents wishes so if they say they want you to feed him, then you can encourage him to feed himself but ultimately you can't deny him food if the only way he will take it is through you feeding him iyswim...

I would ask parents for permission to approach the health visitor for advice. It sounds to me like they are keeping him as a baby, which is a bit sad but happens a lot.

Good luck!

**ma7ie** · 17-09-2008, 07:52 PM

He is very babyish. I wouldn't say he was developmentally slow - well not something that would need looking into. Probably just below average.

He still toddles rather than walks, doesn't run, and will walk through things like toys rather than look and go round so he often falls.

I was getting worried about his speech, but that seems to have started happening just recently.

He's got no problems picking toys or things to do, although he tends to play with the same toys all the time and I'm finding it really hard to do observations on him because he doesn't do anything different.

Mum definately babies him but it's not my place to tell her how to bring him up is it?

**ma7ie** · 17-09-2008, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by sarahnev707

What do parents say?

We have to follow parents wishes so if they say they want you to feed him, then you can encourage him to feed himself but ultimately you can't deny him food if the only way he will take it is through you feeding him iyswim...

I would ask parents for permission to approach the health visitor for advice. It sounds to me like they are keeping him as a baby, which is a bit sad but happens a lot.

Good luck!

You're absolutely right. He was an IVF baby and mum is terrified she won't have any more so she wraps him up in cotton wool and does everything for him.

The other day my dd had her arm round him and mum told her to stop because she might strangle him. She only had one arm around him (how strong does she thing a two and a half year old is?)

**crazybones** · 17-09-2008, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by ma7ie

You're absolutely right. He was an IVF baby and mum is terrified she won't have any more so she wraps him up in cotton wool and does everything for him.

The other day my dd had her arm round him and mum told her to stop because she might strangle him. She only had one arm around him (how strong does she thing a two and a half year old is?)

Gosh he sounds like my ex-mindee. He was an IVF baby too and was really babied. He didnt feed himself because Mum did it all at home - her reason being she couldnt put up with the mess. He was exactly the same age as William and everything you describe the walking through toys, slow to speak, only playing with certain toys and not wanting to join in with activities makes me thing it is the same child, except I know he is in New Zealand now. He left at the end of July and was just over 2 and a half but was still waking for 2 bottles a night.

**manjay** · 17-09-2008, 09:11 PM

I too have one exactly the same. He will be 2 in December and it is most definitely a case of Mum doing everything for him. He is carried everywhere, is never seen without a dummy, he still eats baby mush at home and is fed by Mum.

It has taken me quite a while (and alot of patience) but we are making progress. We have got to the stage where he will pick up food now but only if it is in small pieces. He will not bite, so if I give him a sandwich or cracker he will either try to fit the whole lot in or not bother. If I help him put it to his mouth he will sit with his mouth open until I take it out. Mum just says oh yes he is like that at home

Sorry I haven't got any magic answers but I now how frustrating this is and I really feel for you xx