too much????

**kindredspirits** · 11-09-2008, 06:41 PM

i have started with a boy who is just starting school this year, i have only had him for 2 three hour sessions so far but in a couple of weeks it will be everyday after school. i get the impression he doesn't get a lot of time with his parents, both are business type iykwim. he can write his name, backwards, but doesn't know what the letters are called and only knows capitals. i think at nearly 5 he should be a bit further ahead than that and i've started to help him a bit with it - nothing major just shall we write letters etc.

anyway, basically what i'm wondering is am i doing too much?? i'm enjoying myself but i don't want to tread on anyones toes.

what do you think?
anna x

**breezy** · 11-09-2008, 06:47 PM

I think you're doing the right thing, as long as it's fun for you both and theres no pressure. Have you spoken to the parents? What do they think?

**Twinkles** · 11-09-2008, 06:51 PM

do you have any contact with the school he's going to ? if you do ask for a sheet laying out how they like the children to form their letters. Also which reading scheme they use. Maybe you can find a couple of books with the characters from that reading scheme to use at your house.

Remember there is huge value in letting him make marks in any way he wants to , just give him lots of opportunities. Also never underestimate the value of reading him stories.

**kindredspirits** · 11-09-2008, 06:51 PM

no

i haven't had the guts, this boy gets told he's very clever blah blah blah - and ive no doubt he is but he's not been directed in the right way - considering he's been a nursery since he was a tot i'm surprised he can't read or say his letters -do i expect too much of a nearly 5 year old??

**sarah707** · 11-09-2008, 07:15 PM

Some boys aren't that good at putting it down on paper.

If you're having fun together and he's happy to work with you, find out what letter shapes the school are going to be teaching...

You could also look at mirror writing and drawing if he's writing backwards... he will probably like it!

**Mrs.L.C** · 11-09-2008, 07:20 PM

Remember every child develop at different rates and beleive it or not but quite a few 5 year olds cant read or write their names clearly (my own daughter couldnt read before school & is now above average at the age of 8) and its just a case of letting them mark make, readin books to them etc and giving them all the opportunitys you can but with out putting the preasure on. make your obs and see what happens over the next year and if you still have the same concerns then you may need to take it futher but continue working with the parents and the school the best you can.

**SimplyLucy** · 11-09-2008, 07:35 PM

My nearly 5 year old can't write his name yet, he can to the B then he's lost interest!

Is the little boy you look after left handed?

My daughter who is now nearly 7 is left handed and she wrote beautifully from about the age of 4 but everything was in mirror image, you could hold a mirror up to it and read it perfect!

She has lovely hand writing now, all the right way around, but if you ask her to write backwards she just does it perfectly. Her teacher seems to think it's because she is left handed.

I have odd children ya know!

**butterfly** · 11-09-2008, 07:49 PM

i'm a qualified early years teacher and would say from experience that we hope children will write their name and form about 20/26 letters correctly by the time they leave reception year. it is very common for children to start reception knowing NO letters at all but likely that they will know atleast half by the end of their first year.

I would say: yes encourage him to mark make and look at books; yes talk to him about letters and numbers and encourage him to recognise his name

you really need to talk to the school about what they are doing as there is nothing worse for a teacher if a parent/carer teaches children to form letters differently!! find out which scheme they use so you can provide continuity eg some schools really like jolly phonics which is a totally diff way than say ruth miskin. he will also be learning to read high frequency words so maybe you could help him recognise those. don't push him further than they are at school but it would be great if you could encourage him with what he's doing there!!

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 11-09-2008, 08:20 PM

I know that you are trying to help but is this a lot for him to do as he then has to do school work aswell and it is probably more of the same.

Play time is important too.

**kindredspirits** · 11-09-2008, 08:30 PM

well we started by learning letters by writing his name on the wii - so it is play time really he just doesn't know i'm trying to teach him as well. in 1 session he can tell me all the letters in his name instead of writing them in the air. thanks for all the replies -i'll take it easy i think and see how he goes at school.

anna x

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 11-09-2008, 08:35 PM

Well done you - make sure you document his progress for Ofsted. Maybe he can write you a thank you note eventually to go in the scrapbook.

**Gherkin** · 11-09-2008, 08:40 PM

Have to say I think you are expecting a bit much. My son who is 4 just started in reception and I would say that 80% minimum do not know their letters and many do not know how to write their own name.

My son is shattered at the moment coming home from half days so when full days kick in I doubt i will get much sense out of him. Just be aware that they do an awful lot of learning in the reception year and it tires them. By the time he is with you after school he could be totally knackered and may not want to write. I know I am saving my sons homework (yes his first homework book has been sent home) for the weekend when he is fresher.

Also my son is a left hander and will often write his name backwards if he is not concentrating.

**miffy** · 11-09-2008, 08:44 PM

I think it's great you're helping him Anna and he's having fun

Miffy xx

**kindredspirits** · 11-09-2008, 09:03 PM

thank you - i really appreciate everyones point of view. i absolutely love helping him and its made me realise that all my doubts about if i'd be able to do this job are completely gone, i love it so much - i don't want to exhaust him but i think if we're doing it in play theres not much harm.

anna x

**Noodles** · 11-09-2008, 09:55 PM

I also think it depends what they are interested in.
My DD doesnt start school till January but has always loved paper and pencils.
She can write her name. Today at nursery she drew me a picture with mummy written on it , then tonight she asked me how to spell caravan, i spelt it out to her and she wrote it. I am really proud of her but i dont push her its just something that comes naturally to he i think