Working with nurserys how do you dom it?

[KateA]

Hi, I have a Lo who is 1 he comes to me 3 days a week 8-6 ( tues- thurs) and goes to nursery the other days. I have had him since he was just over 4 months old. He settled fine and was lovely but since August all he does is scream at me, he is not interested in playing with anything all he does he stand beside me and scream, he screams if i get up, move around the room and leave the room. Its a high pitch scream and will contiune to do it until i return there is never any tears! He has also started to go on hunger strikes and will not eat anything or drink his milk this can last right up to home time.

I have had enough of this and want to know if he like this at nursery as i suppect they carry him all the time. Which is something i refuse point blank to do. How would you handle a meeting wiuth nursery amd look professional without letting them realise you have had enough?

Do i need any thing other than permission from parents to speak to nursery?

I have a new baby starting next month and deading it.

Really dont feel like this job is for me and have and enough, but nothing else fits in with my children and being there for them so feel trapped.

[sing-low]

That sounds like really hard work. I think in your position I would first chat with the parents about speaking with nursery. It is sadly often too easy for nurseries not to work in partnership with cms. If parents insist, it is more likely to happen. Good luck.

[Maza]

First of all, sympathies. It's very hard having a screamer.

I think when children are like this it is very easy for us to lay the blame at someone's door. I may be wrong, but I can't see nursery staff carrying him around all day, even if they wanted too - they have too many other children to see to and other tasks which take up their time.

If nursery is the only thing that is new since his behaviour changed then I am tempted to think that the little one is feeling insecure and overwhelmed. Starting at a new setting is a massive thing for children - think of how out of sorts we all feel when we start a new job. At 1 he doesn't understand why he has suddenly got an extra set of rules, faces, food etc thrust upon him and he is clinging to the familiar - you! At nursery, he possibly doesn't have the same staff all day due to shift patterns, so that really throws some children.

I would speak to parents and see if he has changed at home and ask about the feedback they are getting from nursery.

There's lots of great advice on other threads about working with screamers.

[Simona]

What a lovely way to put the message across Maza...very sensible and understanding.

KateA...Maybe this little child is confused and missing you ...I would say those are clear signs of fear, being clingy and anxiety leading to regression in his behaviour

Good advice to speak to mum or dad who can facilitate you speaking to the nursery

This maybe of help
Toddler Regression

hope you get it sorted

[mandy moo]

I don't work in a nursery so cannot comment on that, I do work in Pre School however,
We would have no problem at all in talking to you, Im all for working in partnership,
We have parent consultations shortly, and of course with parents permission, child minders are invited too, either separately or with the parent.