SEN - Autism

[Dominique]

I suspect my 2 yo minded boy may be slightly autistic and I don’t know how to handle it. How should I act and at what stage should I voice concern to his parents? These are the autistic tendencies (taken from NHS website) that apply to him:

• being unusually intolerant of people entering their own personal space
• little interest in interacting with other people, including children of a similar age
• preferring to play alone, rather than asking others to play with them

I don’t want to label him – he is only 2! – and I am not even sure I’m right but I do want to do my best to help him develop and thrive.

So far, I have allowed him to stay and play by himself, watching us but not joining in. I keep an eye on him and ask if he wants to come and join us – the answer is always no. When I override his answer, he ends up enjoying himself. To what extent should I let him be on his own and should I “make” him join in more?

I don’t want to approach the parents with something they would undoubtedly find worrying or upsetting when I am not sure but clearly want to work in partnership with them.

[JCrakers]

Right

A lot of children have their funny ways and their own preferences. I look after children who love to be with others and others that really like to play alone. Some children just prefer to play alone.

I would just keep monitoring and tracking him. Its probably that he just prefers his own company and there's nothing wrong with that
At 2yrs old, its very early days to talking about Autism. If you have lots of 'flags' in areas of development then just keep an eye on these. Mention to parents that you've noticed he doesn't enjoy joining in and you re trying to encourage. I wouldn't mention Autism at this stage.

From the points you raise I feel this is a child who just prefers his own company Just keep encouraging but if doesn't want to then that's fine...let him lead you

*excuse me if I've rambled or put a few spelling mistakes. After 2 glasses of Rose and in the middle of cooking a Sunday roast i'm not too sure why i'm on here of a Sunday Evening...lol

[moggy]

Does sound like very normal 2 year old boy behaviour to me, some just don't want to join in. You can note that he doesn't like to join in, but the fact that you said he does enjoy it once he does join in makes it sound like he just needs some encouragement sometimes? I would certainly not mention any condition at all. I would need to see a lot of worrying signs to be even thinking that way.
Children develop at such different rates- he might still just be a bit slower at the social skills or still in the play-alone/in parallel stage rather than being able to apprciate other people's company. Or just more of a loner- nothing wrong with that- lots of people prefer their own company! Or maybe, like my own son, he more of a leader and has strong ideas of his way to do things and can't be bothered having to compromise and deal with other children!
How are his communication skills, speech, hearing? A delay/issue there may also make him less keen on joining in. How is his understanding? A delay there might cause group things to be a bit confusing or too much to deal with. Is he a bit shy? Or single-track-attention: too preoccupied in other play to want to stop and come and join in?

[KatieFS]

That program on channel 4 had lots of cases of suspected autism and worth a watch. Helps to visualise what it can be like for a child and how they play and interact, really interesting and insightful
It was called born naughty / you might find it on catch up online or you tube

Also has your LA got Senco you can get in touch with? What support is available for you or the child?

[k1rstie]

'In making relationships' it says under 16 to 26 months - plays alongside others
22 to 36 months - interested in others' play and starting to join in
30 to 50 months - can play in a group

Although I would be keeping an eye on the child, he may still be on the parallel play part of his development.

As has been said, the Born Naughty programme was very interesting. I think I remember that the youngest child diagnosed on there was 2.
Her mum thought she could talk at all, but always had a dummy in. When the dummy came out, in fact she was copying what others were saying. The first doctor to see her ( the presenter) did not notice she had a dummy in, it was the speech therapist who noticed it!!!!

[Dominique]

Thanks to all for the comments and ideas. x

[TinyTinker]

I had a little one start with me at 19 months - and she was just like this - if you looked at her she would have a melt down, if you spoke to her she would cry, she wanted to just stay in one place and only move away on her terms - if you left books or toys near to where she was comfortable she would take them and play on her own - wasn't happy being taken into the garden and put down etc. would happily go for a walk in a pushchair.

We cared for her on her terms, didn't force her to join in, gave her space where otehr children wouldn't hassle her or enter 'her space' etc....she took months, but she did come round - she was timid and shy and liked her own company for a long time after this - possibly 6+ months! she gradually gained confidence and got used to children she saw regularly.

She is now 5, at school, and is very very confident and loud her, she mixes with everyone and plays well with everyone! like a different child!

[k1rstie]

I had a little one start with me at 19 months - and she was just like this - if you looked at her she would have a melt down, if you spoke to her she would cry, she wanted to just stay in one place and only move away on her terms - if you left books or toys near to where she was comfortable she would take them and play on her own - wasn't happy being taken into the garden and put down etc. would happily go for a walk in a pushchair. We cared for her on her terms, didn't force her to join in, gave her space where otehr children wouldn't hassle her or enter 'her space' etc....she took months, but she did come round - she was timid and shy and liked her own company for a long time after this - possibly 6+ months! she gradually gained confidence and got used to children she saw regularly. She is now 5, at school, and is very very confident and loud her, she mixes with everyone and plays well with everyone! like a different child!

She sounds like a credit to you and your hard work and patience.