refusal to have nappy changed- what do I do?

**val555** · 30-01-2015, 04:20 PM

Hi Everyone
I am a relatively new childminder(15 mths). One of my mindees ( 28mths) has returned from the Xmas holidays very unsettled and his behaviour is
worsening.Previous to this he was very settled and happy but now seems to resent coming to my setting. He has frequent (and awful) tantrums specifically over coats; car seats and pushchairs.He basically does not like transitions. Now he is having bad tantrums when it is time to have his nappy changed.Almost the merest mention of the 'nappy' word will have him hiding under the table and screaming loudly.It is nigh impossible for me to get him on the nappy mat and I am reluctant to use any form of physical restraint for obvious reasons. I really feel for him and do not like to see him so upset, but I am at my wits end and don't know what to do for the best- yesterday he was truly awful and I ended up changing him standing up whilst screaming- fine for number ones but not so good for number twos!!My other mindee is also getting upset by his behaviour. Mum is fully aware of the situation and says he is fine (if a little wriggly) at home. If I cannot get over this, is the only option to give notice??
Any advice greatly appreciated.

**childcareclair** · 30-01-2015, 06:12 PM

Good evening,

Not really sure on what to say so I will just try my best....

Has anything major happened over the Christmas that you need to know about? It seems strange that he has changed that much over a couple of weeks?

I would stay strong, you are the boss! :O) He HAS to have a nappy changed as he will get sore.... so come up with a plan with mum and just be as consistant as you can and he will eventually realise that rules are different at your house.

If you have support from parents then half of the battle is already done!

Good luck x

**chris goodyear** · 30-01-2015, 06:16 PM

It's very tiring when lo's behave like that and I have one at the moment. She has been with me a couple of months now - is 14 months old - and the first month was fine. Now if anything happens e.g. I walk across the room, the phone rings or the doorbell or heaven forbid I have to dispose of a dirty nappy into the outside bin cue major temper tantrum!! I am exhausted at the end of the day and am trying to think of ways to get round this. Can I suggest that maybe distraction would work? Does he like certain t.v. programmes or DVD and if you put that on while changing him perhaps he won't be aware of what you are doing? My grandaughter put Peppa Pig on while I was busy seeing parents and other children out, to distract my lo and she didn't even notice anything else around her - I could even leave the room! Worth a try.

**Maza** · 30-01-2015, 06:52 PM

Could you maybe get mum to arrive 5 mins earlier and change his nappy at yours (even if it doesn't need changing) just so that a) you can observe - maybe she has a magic trick! and b)so that LO can get used to your nappy station again. Do you change on a changing table? Could he be afraid of falling off and might be better being changed on the floor? Does he find the wipes too cold? I like the idea of TV as a distraction. Good luck. x

**val555** · 31-01-2015, 11:51 AM

Hi
Thanks for replies.I like the idea of TV too. Will try that on Monday(anything's worth a try)! I don't think anything has occurred over Xmas. I just think he's had a really nice time at home and kind of resents coming back, plus I suspect he only wants his mum to do things for him, which kind of makes things difficult I guess

**ziggy** · 02-02-2015, 08:34 AM

Is little one just testing the boundaries? Sorry if I am being blunt but some things (nappy changing/ getting into car seat) are not negotiable. I would just say 'its nappy time'. Change nappy without making any comment, then praise child when its over (not easy I know with a child having a tantrum) but hopefully when he realises the nappy changing is going to be done no matter how much he screams and wriggles he will give in.

Maybe some sort of reward system will help. Good luck

**AliceK** · 02-02-2015, 09:23 AM

I too am of the opinion that some things are non-negotiable and that all the screaming in the world doesn't change things. I have had LO's go through phases of this, I usually give them a clean nappy or the pack of wipes to play with whilst I quickly do the change. I can do it so quickly that they don't have the time to get too upset.I have also found that whistling helps, don't know why but when I suddenly start to whistle they stop and look at me. Usually the phase doesn't last long. If I say to any one child now Come on lets go and change your bum, they all follow me in and I have them queuing up to have their bums changed, it's like a little conveyor belt lol.

xxx

**KatieFS** · 02-02-2015, 01:31 PM

Yes agree-some things are non negotiable, I try to have a few special toys for nappy time or use it as a time for nursery rhymes or tickling time?
Does sound like perhaps something happened at home? How close us he to toilet training? Perhaps this is his way of saying he doesn't like nappies anymore?

**TinyTinker** · 02-02-2015, 02:33 PM

find a toy he really likes (even if its something from home) and let him hold it while having the nappy changed and then store it with the nappies - so that he knows it only comes out when he's having a nappy changed?

did parents try to potty train over christmas at all by any chance?

I often find when children get older than about 26 months that they start not liking nappy changes from me, like they're starting to get aware of their private parts and want to keep them private if you see what I mean.