dilema, help please

[Rickers83]

Ok so following from my post earlier about the no show,
i saw stepdad at school, he said he though mum had text me this morning.. . To which I explained she hadn't & even if she had it would have been very short notice considering I specifically asked her about today!

now heres my issue: he then says 'but i think u need to pick up up after school because I'm not around"
I did ask him to get mum to confirm this to me as I left vmail this morning saying as no show I assume in not needed
but, what if I don't here from or am able to contact mum?

do i take stepdads verbal word, bearing in mind he has no parental responsibility and is only on contract as someone who can collect child, or do I leave the poor thing standing in the school playground?

argh so frustrating when parents just don't think!!

[The Juggler]

aaargh - so annoying. if you would normally collect child then I'd go to school. the worst that could happen is that mum will be there to collect too but better than the child being left.

if however, its really adhoc and mum's supposed to let you know or not when she wants you then I'd leave another message tellign her specifically that unless you hear from her you will assume you are not needed and SHE will be collecting child from school.

that should spur her into action.

[Rickers83]

I will be at school anyway as have to pick up dd, but will mean hanging around as mum is always late when she collects, teacher usually sends lo straight yo me as he assumes I'm taking home because no one else is there!

we are contracted to every day before and after but mum regularly texts in the mornings to let me know one of them is off so I'm not needed, or like this morning I have to text to find out whats happening as theyve not shown up!

[The Juggler]

I will be at school anyway as have to pick up dd, but will mean hanging around as mum is always late when she collects, teacher usually sends lo straight yo me as he assumes I'm taking home because no one else is there!

we are contracted to every day before and after but mum regularly texts in the mornings to let me know one of them is off so I'm not needed, or like this morning I have to text to find out whats happening as theyve not shown up!

why do you need to hang around hon??? I would not 'hold onto' child until mum arrived if she is collecting. Tell teacher mum is coming and go home

[Rickers83]

why do you need to hang around hon??? :

sorry, I meant if I cant get hold of mum, I wont know if she's collecting & as she's usually late I'd hang about for a bit to see if she turned up

[The Juggler]

sorry, I meant if I cant get hold of mum, I wont know if she's collecting & as she's usually late I'd hang about for a bit to see if she turned up

well i'd just collect the child and take him home. she can come get him too cold to be waiting around. xx

[LauraS]

I'd collect too, as it's best for the child and stepdad has said to. I wouldn't wait around the playground for mum, she could come find me if she was late.

[Mouse]

As you haven't specifically been told NOT to collect the child then I would plan to do it.

If mum is there when you arrive, have a stern word about her not having let you know what's happening.

If she isn't there, take the child and hurry off quickly. Hopefully mum will turn up late, panic because her child isn't there and be shocked into realising that in future she has to let you know what's happening

[dawn100]

If I was contracted to collect and hadn't heard for sure that mum was collecting I would collect. If mum gets to school late and you've already gone then she'll have to come and collect from yours.
Annoying as mums lack of communication is I wouldn't want to leave the child at school with no one collecting.

[shortstuff]

I agree with the others if you are contracted to provide before and after school care every day then I would collect and make my way home. It is then up to the parent to find you or wait at your house if you walk. You do need to let this mum know that it is causing you stress with not knowing what is happening. If you dont tell her she will assume you are fine with the situation as it stands which just leads to more stress.

If you dont tell her you are effectively expecting her to be a mind reader which is something we would hate if it was assumed of us x

[Emra81]

Totally agree....collect as usual and hope that Mum IS collecting and is late so she understands that she can't leave you in the dark! And def have a word with her about the lack of communication....if she is expecting you to collect and you hadn't seen stepdad and been given a heads up then little one would have been left all alone on the last day of school and you would have been in big trouble through no fault of your own. Not on!