How do you deal with destructive children?

[Mouse]

I have a mindee who has just turned 2. He's a little live wire, to say the least! He's constantly on the go and has a lot of energy, so we spend as much time as possible outside.

From the age of about 18mths he has been quite sneaky - would give the other children a cuddle, but bite them, or pinch them while he was doing it. I stopped him from cuddling them & was very aware anytime he moved in as if to cuddle them. He would also take toys they were playing with, looking them in the face while he did it, as if challenging them. He'll push, hit & kick. In temper he'll throw things.

Most of the behaviour I can deal with & he does respond well to positive reinforcement in the short term.

My main problem now is that he is very destructive. In one day this week he ripped several books, pulled apart the felt playfood and broken 3 toys. I understand he has a need to destroy things, but also know he needs to learn that he can't do it to everything. I give him plenty of opportunities to take things apart - ripping up paper, constructions toys, cutting up playdough etc, but how do you go about teaching them what can be taken a part & what can't?

[mrs robbie williams]

no advise sorry but will be following your thread carefully as i have a 2y mindee who is exactly the same

[samb]

This also sounds like a 21 month old I have. Delightful and beautiful and butter wouldn't melt and people don't believe me when I suggest not getting so close just in case... Oh dear that's why! :-/ she doesn't properly break toys just destroys what the others are doing- puzzles, train tracks, lines of cars etc. sometimes just walks round tipping out anything in sight. I've replaced 3 units with ones with doors as I was getting stressed over her ruining books etc.

I would suggest limiting what is available when you have this lo and making your home as inaccessible as possible- and then start introducing things with strict rules. Eg I have just started having a mark making area again. They must keep it at the table, if anyone moves way from table they are told to go back, or items are removed etc. it's really hard I think on the other children as well but you can't have everything destroyed! :-(

[watford wizz]

Having fostered a very aggressive child for 8 years, we were given the advice of making every day adult tasks available " big jobs" with adult size equipment that took a lot of physical strength. It really helped us, sweeping with a very large "man" broom, moving logs, real bricks, big washing machine/tumble dryer boxes, heavy bags of soil, it sometimes took him half an hour to move/drag/lift one bag but it used up his aggression in a positive way. Always thought he must have thought us very indecisive as to where we wanted our log/brick pile to be as we regularly asked him to move it for us! LOL x

[samb]

Having fostered a very aggressive child for 8 years, we were given the advice of making every day adult tasks available " big jobs" with adult size equipment that took a lot of physical strength. It really helped us, sweeping with a very large "man" broom, moving logs, real bricks, big washing machine/tumble dryer boxes, heavy bags of soil, it sometimes took him half an hour to move/drag/lift one bag but it used up his aggression in a positive way. Always thought he must have thought us very indecisive as to where we wanted our log/brick pile to be as we regularly asked him to move it for us! LOL x

Ah bless him! That's a really good idea! Wonder what I could get a tiny 21 month old to move?!

[watford wizz]

Wet washing, loo rolls, bag of books, sack of toys, large plastic table cloth, anything that's big enough for them to need to grunt, groan and seems almost impossible and that you "need" a big strong persons help with cause it's too heavy for you to do x

[Mouse]

Having fostered a very aggressive child for 8 years, we were given the advice of making every day adult tasks available " big jobs" with adult size equipment that took a lot of physical strength. It really helped us, sweeping with a very large "man" broom, moving logs, real bricks, big washing machine/tumble dryer boxes, heavy bags of soil, it sometimes took him half an hour to move/drag/lift one bag but it used up his aggression in a positive way. Always thought he must have thought us very indecisive as to where we wanted our log/brick pile to be as we regularly asked him to move it for us! LOL x

That's great advice

[jackie 7]

Great idea. Will remember that.