Toileting a minded child

[curlyjo]

This is my first proper post here, though have gleaned lots of childminding info from other posts! I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation.

I have a girl (2 1/2)who comes to me for one day a week and has been learning toileting for the past 4 months. Basically, she rarely asks to go. With wees, I make sure we have a try before we have to head out, a while after snack, before sleep times, etc, and she manages to tell me she needs sometimes once she is already wet. When she does have a wee in the loo she says "mummy be happy." Is this part of the problem, that she is weeing for someone else's satisfaction? However, she had never managed a BM in the toilet, always in her underwear. She is about the same age as my own lo, and I'm finding it really difficult to discuss this situation with mum in case she feels that I am comparing them.

She shows lots of physical signs of readiness, and is often dry after her nap, but it seems that she is just not psychologically ready. (why can't I just say that to her mum!!) I feel that 4 months is quite a while to not be getting the hang of some things with me. I think that at home and preschool there are also some issues with this.

As it is only one day a week, it is too much to ask for her to go back into a nappy? (she thinks that nappies are for babies, but I want to say that they are for anyone who cant make it to the loo) I think it might take the pressure off for a bit as this must be knocking her confidence.

thanks in advance, Jo

[primula]

I think some kids sometimes have a problem with BM's, maybe she could put a nappy on for a poo? A chat (parent) with the doctor or health visitor might help? I am sure someone with more experience will be along soon..

[sing-low]

I think you need to have a discussion with Mum about this. It's really important that you, nursery and Mum are all doing the same thing, otherwise the poor LO will be hopelessly confused. I've had success with sticker charts leading up to a reward but again, needs to be done by you, Mum and nursery. Personally, I don't do nappies again once toilet training has started as I think that this makes things worse in the long run (but I know others disagree).

[curlyjo]

Thanks for your replies.

Have just chatted with mum and we have a few ideas - she has spoken about returning to nappies, as all round BM's have become a bit of an issue here, home and pre-school. Wees are ok but if she is in a pull up then that's where she'll quite happily wee.

We Also spoke about a 'social story' for her, to remind her that when she gets the feeling it is time for the toilet, and how great it is to do that. I also suggested that if we do a reward chard, it should be for each place she goes to keep things consistent.

So, a few ideas in the offering, will see how we get on next week!

Thanks again!

[sing-low]

That all sounds really good. Glad things are moving forward.