feel really down:(

[Npg1]

Hi everyone.
I work 53 hours a week, 2 children a day and on a tuesday 3 children, all under 2.
I dont seem to have an easier day, today I had a 11mth old and 17mth old, both started 1 month ago and all they do all day is cry.
Im exhausted. I have a puppy too (why oh why, hubby persuaded me!)
I worked out a way to have a thurs off if I give notice to one and move 1. Hubby is always telling me I will lose out on the money.
I dont know what to do.

[MrsP2C]

Honestly I'd go insane without my day off so if you can afford it I say go for it. I have 2 under 2 plus 4 schoolies 4 days a week & need some downtime plus it's the only time I get to clean my house, spend time with my own DC doing homework etc without having the whole weekend taken over by chores.

[The Juggler]

if it's not working, you need to look at easing your workload. shorter days, less days, less children. It depends on if people will leave you if you change their hours, can you manage without the money.

Personally, I'd work out what I'd like, maybe a few options. Then speak to the parents. Tell them it's not working for your family and you would suggest xxxxx and what are their thoughts. Guauge their reaction and then make a decision on what to do.

good luck hon xx

[lisbet]

I think your post title says what you need to do x

Explain to your DH that less money and a manageable workload that means you don't burn out makes better sense in the long term.

I can relate: Mine are all under 2 at the moment, but I only have 3 of them for half of the day - think I would personally struggle to do my best by them all for longer than that!

Hope it all works out x

[dawn100]

My husbands the same just see the £££'s without really understanding the impact. I've turned down two people recently one who wanted 5 days a week - I only work 4 days as I want a day to my self when my kids are all in school, after 13years of waiting for sometime to myself I'm going to defend it! The second one was to a 12month old mindee 4 days a week but I already had 1x 12mth old and 1x17mth old who is not the easiest, both 4 days a week and I thought adding another one in so young 4 days a week would just tip me over but my husband couldn't get it all he could see was me turning down money. You have to do what's right for you.

[bunyip]

In all honesty, I'd sit down with a cuppa and try to decide whose behaviour needs addressing first:

• mindees?
• puppy?
• husband?

Hope you sort it out ok.

[hectors house]

Do you have a day when the 2 new starters come on their own, if so do they still cry? On the days you have them both, is it one child setting off the other one? I would have meetings with both parents and try to work out a strategy for getting them settled and not crying so much - that would get anyone down .

I do manage to get a Thursday off which sort of happened with a bit of a tweak - I used to have 4 (with an Ofsted variation) all day, then one left for school and one left for Nursery - leaving me with 2 little ones who were picked up by grandparents after lunch - grandparents shared the care on other days, so I managed to get one grandparent to swap days and did a good deal with other parent on the extra fees involved in swapping days - as other grandparent couldn't pick up on another day, so child had to stay with me longer.

So it sounds as if giving up a Thursday is something that you could do without too much impact - it is handy to have a day for appointments - hair, doctor, dentist, chiropractor, mostly boring stuff but easier to arrange without mindees. Yes I could earn £100 if I had 3 mindees all day on a Thursday - but I am determined to hang on to my day off.

[Cinnamon Sugar]

My husbands the same just see the £££'s without really understanding the impact. I've turned down two people recently one who wanted 5 days a week - I only work 4 days as I want a day to my self when my kids are all in school, after 13years of waiting for sometime to myself I'm going to defend it! The second one was to a 12month old mindee 4 days a week but I already had 1x 12mth old and 1x17mth old who is not the easiest, both 4 days a week and I thought adding another one in so young 4 days a week would just tip me over but my husband couldn't get it all he could see was me turning down money. You have to do what's right for you.

For this exact reason I don't tell my husband the ins and outs of everything I do as unless you are living it you have no idea how hard it can be. He thinks I have a jolly time 'playing with the kids' ( and to be fair a lot of the time I do ;-)) but it can be a very demanding, emotionally draining job and I get really tired out. Am definitely going to take more holidays next year. Wish I'd booked this October week off. It's a long time to the Christmas holidays.

[littlebears1009]

Ive just given notice to a mindee 4 days a week (i have fridays off) as all he does is scream all day. Hes my only mindee, but my husband could see it was affecting me badly and our children so he was understanding. however he does work shifts so whichever shift he works hes either here in a morning/afternoon so is able to see what im having to manage with! Maybe ask your husband to take some time to get to know what you do and he may feel differently and be more supportive? X

[Ripeberry]

Work out how much you would lose and what you would have used that money for? I bet your husband doesn't work more hours than you. I'd rather go without nice things and have time to do things. Most of the CMs I've met have a day off or even a half day. Why should your weekend be taken up with housework and paperwork?

[Miss freckles]

I really feel where your coming from, I have three under twos on a mon and fri and two under twos on tues, weds, thurs and that's without counting the before and after schoolies.

I'm utterly exhausted all the time and hate mon and fri (apart from naptime!) I really wished I hadn't taken so much on but being a new childminder I thought it would be a breeze

I can't give notice to anyone as they all need me on those specific days because of working. I keep promising myself that it will get better as they get older, but I could really do with a day off in the week!

[Jenna]

I started minding nearly 2 years ago and with a 18 month old son at the time and oh who worked shift work it was hard. I was full time within a few months and it was very hard work. Since sept I've managed to have a Wednesday off well until school run that is and I live it I'm so much more chilled I've got a few hours to have my hair done, catch up on the house work or even sit and do nothing if I really want its lovely. Unless I really have to there's no way I'll go bk to working full time.

[clairer]

Go for the day off. It's all about keeping your sanity. I insist on Friday off to clean up the mess, do paperwork(and collapse).

[tas]

Go for the day off!

[TooEarlyForGin?]

Honey, my DH is lovely (most of the time) but has never understood the pressure of my job, and probably won't ever. I have Monday (school time) off and fit in docs appointments, paperwork, housework etc off. It's the best thing I have ever done, my hubby will still say "lucky for some having 3 days off" and I have given up explaining I still work 43 hours a week with no tea breaks, lunch hours, adult company, as well as paperwork, cleaning and planning in the evenings. I now shrug and say "yes lucky me.... " Go for the day off if you can do it.


Oh, and I love my puppy and threaten he would go before I would get rid of my pup.