New child leaving melt downs

**jadavi** · 17-10-2013, 05:26 AM

I think this is a case of overindulgent mum not putting down boundaries.....
Twice , once in the first visit and yesterday on first day, 3 year old child refused to leave and had a melt down in our hall. As she was shouting at me with mum tolerating this I had to retreat and leave mum to it in the hall where i could hear mum pleading and cajoling. I had other children who were getting upset so closed the sitting room door. Plus could not discipline the child as I would as mum was there (I tried but having mum there gave her the courage to shout at me) there was no question of mum asking her to say sorry...
How would you deal ?
I have asked mum to phone me when she parks and my assistant will bring her out to the car.
Harsh? Have to break this awful habit before it becomes entrenched....
Funny - mum said 'I have never seen her like this'
I felt like saying : 'yes we both have - last time!'

**ajc** · 17-10-2013, 05:48 AM

OMG! yes you did right thing, let this carry on and you"all get it every night. Well done

**MessybutHappy** · 17-10-2013, 06:10 AM

Sounds like a good plan to me, although I wouldn't take the child too the car, I'd take her to the front step and close the door behind her, you need your assistant on site.
At 3 the child can be told firmly why too!

**lilac_dragon** · 17-10-2013, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by MessybutHappy

Sounds like a good plan to me, although I wouldn't take the child too the car, I'd take her to the front step and close the door behind her, you need your assistant on site.
At 3 the child can be told firmly why too!

I agree with this, warn Mum by phone in advance, explaining what you intend doing and that you're not being rude. tell her that you'll ring her after you finish work if there's anything that needs a discussion, but that you've put everything you can think of in the child's Daily Diary ( if you use one) then take the child out, say "Bye lo see you tomorrow" and shut the front door. You may find you only have to do this a few times before the child understands that stropping on a doorstep with no audience/target isn't fun!

**chris goodyear** · 17-10-2013, 07:16 AM

I've had this in the past with more than 1 child. The best way I found was to have them ready with coat and shoes on and at the front door a couple of minutes before mum comes. If mum does not come at a regular time, as someone else posted, ask mum to ring or text when she is outside or at the end of your road. I can promise you that it only takes a couple of times doing this and the child finds it soooo boring that harmony is restored!