Taking toys home?

[Leela]

Hi I was caught out a bit today. At home time one of the Lo was playing with an aeroplane that I had brought last weekend as part of the transport collection. His mum said 'so are you going to let T take this home?' I was quite surprised and not expecting this, I just said no. She was surprised and explained that Lo had recently been exchanging toys with a friend. I said no again but added it's too new, which I wish I hadn't said and just stuck with no. The thing is that all the other parents of much younger children insist that their children don't take any toys home fir whatever reason even if their kids yelling and having a tantrum. Yet this parent asked herself. I prefer not to allow this, but it's not something I have thought about to be honest, but if all the kids decided to take a toy home it would be 10 toys a week. How handle this politely?

[Mouse]

I would just say "sorry, no. It's my policy not to let children take the toys home". Don't give a reason or feel you have to explain yourself. The more you try to give a valid reason, the more you give them chance to talk you round. A simple "no I don't do it" is best.

I've had a lo screaming every day at home time this week because I won't let him take a small wooden hammer home. I take it off him at the door and tell him it stays here. I feel (a little bit) bad for him, but I know he'll soon get over it!

I do send resources and books home sometimes, but that's on my terms & when they're part of an activity we're doing. I never send them home to appease a screaming child!

[shortstuff]

I agree with Mouse, it should be on your terms only and not because a mum might get upset. Good luck the next time she comes x

[starlight1]

I agree..I had a one year old trying to take a Dora toy out the other day..I said show it mummy then leave it here so it is here for you to play with tomorrow...

Although have to say it wasn't challenged by mum

I agree it is not a toy library

[shortstuff]

another thought, knowing how good parents are at providing the things their children need sometimes imagine if we let LO's take the toys home and they didnt get returned. We would soon all have settings with no toys lol x

[Mrs Scrubbit]

This is one reason why I now have a set 'clearing up time' and then either read stories or sing nursery rhymes/songs before putting shoes and coats on in readiness for doorstep handovers. We've all been busy,we're all feeling a bit tired and we all want to end the working day as calmly and peacefully as is possible and go and relax in our own homes, and this includes the children as well! xx

[karen m]

No I would never let a child take a toy home surely they have their favourite toy at home and the wanting from us is just to see what they can get away with , have allowed books in the past but have stopped this as IF they came back they had been scribbled on or torn

[Cinnamon Sugar]

This is one reason why I now have a set 'clearing up time' and then either read stories or sing nursery rhymes/songs before putting shoes and coats on in readiness for doorstep handovers. We've all been busy,we're all feeling a bit tired and we all want to end the working day as calmly and peacefully as is possible and go and relax in our own homes, and this includes the children as well! xx

Absolutely! I've started doing this too! It's a long day and although it's nice to have a quick chat, if the parent sits down it can be another half hour! The child may have been with me for 8 or 9 hours and as much as they love coming they are ready to go home!
It also limits the amount of showing off and messing about now mummy is here, don't you just love home time ha ha:-)

[bunyip]

Isabel, you've done the right thing. Your place, your stuff, your rules.

I do have a few resources, books, etc. that I'll let them sign out for a few days. But these are generally educational resources I've been lucky enough to obtain and it seems a shame not to let parents use them at home for proper supported learning experiences. They don't take away things that will be forgotten and lost within the hour.

I would be firm but fair, with a straight "no". That way, children might actually learn a bit about ownership and respecting other people. Trouble is, parents (and many childcarers for that matter) undermine this with over-simplistic principles - wish I had a £1 for every time I heard an adult shouting "you've got to share". Nice and easy thing to say but scratch the surface and you realise it's asking for trouble. ("Hey mum, I'm in your cookie jar/purse/box of anti-depressants - you've got to share" etc. )

If mum thinks her lo has the right to take the airplane toy home for the weekend, will she play by the same rules? Would she mind if you popped round to her place, went through her wardrobe and picked out an outfit you'd like to wear for the weekend?

[Koala]

I too do not let children take items home. Not because my stuff is precious it's simply the principle. Children need to accept NO! and NO means NO in our house.
Parents need to accept NO! and NO still means NO in our house no matter how big you are.

The LO's try it on once maybe twice but do not get away with it and they learn and so do parents. I have been known to peel toys out of childrens hands, because i'm a big meany or is it just consistency!

What a cheek mum asking to take things home. A word of warning, I have lean't items to parents for their children and for their homes and never seen them again. Once bitten twice shy.

[hectors house]

I too do not let children take items home. Not because my stuff is precious it's simply the principle. Children need to accept NO! and NO means NO in our house.
Parents need to accept NO! and NO still means NO in our house no matter how big you are.

The LO's try it on once maybe twice but do not get away with it and they learn and so do parents. I have been known to peel toys out of childrens hands, because i'm a big meany or is it just consistency!

What a cheek mum asking to take things home. A word of warning, I have lean't items to parents for their children and for their homes and never seen them again. Once bitten twice shy.

I agree - I often seem like a bad childminder making children cry at hometime trying to wrestle toys and beakers out of the children's hands, but children need to learn that they can't just help themselves to toys that don't belong to them - otherwise they will expect to do the same on a play date, at Nursery or even in the toy shop!

[angeldelight]

I'm the same as most ...we tidy up etc before parents arrive

Then they are ready with coats and shoes on when parent arrives

If a child grabs a toy I will distract him

I don't send children home with toys and I think you was right to say no ...we always try to explain ourselves don't we ..I do the same ha I'm always annoyed with myself after too

Angel xxx

[Emra81]

I wonder if that Mum would expect the same if lo went to a nursery?! There are lots of benefits of using a cm over a nursery....their own personal toy library is not one of them!