Need advice on how to speak o parent about unruly child

**childcare101** · 10-09-2013, 08:50 PM

Hi, I look after my friends children, (amoung others) a 5yr old, 3 yr old and 9 month baby. The 5 yr old is also in my daughters class at school and because they spend so much time together have become best friends. I am also very close to their mother who is such an enthusiastic person, sees the best in everybody and is always telling me how much the children love coming to me. BUT, I'm having problems with the 5yr old. She's hyper, comes in the door from school and just does not sit still for one minute, she jumps all over the chairs and literally bounces off the walls, today I caught her throwing food across the room, not only is she a bad influence on my child she is completely disruptive to all the other children and they all think she is fantastic. Once she's home her little sister then starts acting up too. I am constantly saying no, stop, dont etc etc but she just carries on. How do I approach her lovely mum to say that her daughter is wild? Please help.

**Stapleton83** · 10-09-2013, 09:59 PM

Hmm difficult one as she may not see what you do. Could you start by asking if anything has changed in LOs life as she has become very headstrong in recent weeks and then give a few choice examples. If she says no, then I would go on to say obviously you are concerned about the impact it is having on the other children and that you want to agree with mum how best to tackle it. Focus on the fact that she knows the child better than you and may have a specific way of tackling such behaviour that you can utilise.

Not sure I have been any help, hopefully someone else will be along shortly with some more advice.

Good luck

Sam x

**shortstuff** · 11-09-2013, 04:58 AM

You say you are constantly saying no but is the no backed up with a consequence which Is followed through?

I use thinking time or something similar. This could also benefit the others as they will see that being naughty isnt fun after all.

**Becci26** · 11-09-2013, 05:31 AM

What about revisiting your house rules with the children, and explaining ur expectations and consequences?
It sounds like some firm boundaries need to be in place for this lo :-D

**Kiddleywinks** · 11-09-2013, 07:02 AM

Definitely clearer boundaries and firmer instructions are needed here, and I would be doing that before mentioning anything to mum. If it makes a difference, great, if it doesn't then Mum should be informed.
At 5, negative actions have consequences - jumping on the sofa is a definite no no!

Do you have a park, or a field, you can go to after school to let off steam for 15 mins? (the kids, not you

)

**tulip0803** · 11-09-2013, 07:40 AM

I agree with the others but also after beibg in school she needs to burn off energy - whether it is the park like kiddiwinks says or races in the garden. My Mum says that at that age I would run up the road from school with my Mum trailing behind and would be running laps of the garden when she got there!

Do you do a snack when you get in? I have found that this often settles the schoolies. Get her to take "orders" from the other children - with a pad and pencil I used this with one child that was suspected of ADHD at home and school but did not have the same behaviour at mine once we started this routine

. It gave her a focus.

Simona · 11-09-2013, 08:40 AM

One of the problems with childminding is the relationship with parents

Yes we get close to them BUT keep personal friendship separate form Professional

Girls too can suffer from ADHD or hyperactivity...they often get labelled
In this case you have called her 'unruly'...is she or is there something behind her behaviour??

Talk to mum and keep observing that child as something is triggering her behaviour...some of the signs you mention are very familiar

Research it and deal with it...also share what you research with the parents in a professional way!