Feeling down. Not sure if I made the right choice?

**bunnyjess** · 03-09-2013, 06:33 PM

Hi I only started childminding in April and haven't been that busy but have had more children this week and I'm finding it very hard. I just feel quite lonely and that I'd be better off in a different job. I have had an awful cold this week which hasn't helped. I'm probably just having an off week. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

**beachgirl29** · 03-09-2013, 06:37 PM

I am doing this to be with my daughter at home and when ever i am down or sad i look at her and think 4 years i have been with her she's now a cheeky but clever little thing because i did this job. Sometimes i want to give it all up but then i get a good day when a mindee give me a cuddle and says she loves me

**Leela** · 03-09-2013, 06:57 PM

Hi what you are feeling is quite normal. Childminding is a lonely and isolating job. I was very anxious initially and after 18 months only starting to relax into it. Make friends with other childminders, set up a support group and visit each other. That really helps also go to groups and get out as much as you can. This forum is a great source of support as well.

**bunnyjess** · 03-09-2013, 07:04 PM

Ah thank you. It's good to know that I'm not alone. I'm going to try and go to toddler groups and meet more childminders. I just get a bit nervous in those group situations as I'm not a mother myself

**sprinkles** · 03-09-2013, 07:15 PM

I feel like this too and have only been minding for 2 weeks! I only have one mindee but she's been testing my patience this week and I'm starting to wonder if I've done the right thing! Wondering if I really have the patience and knowledge for this job....

Hopefully we're both just having an off week! I'm not a mother either so have the same reservations about groups as you do...I also don't really know any mums in the town so makes it even more scary. I'm going to go to toddlers in a fortnight though (on holiday next week) as I think the little one I have needs company her own age too. Plus gets us out the house and stops her looking at me for entertainment for a while!

**Bluebell** · 03-09-2013, 07:17 PM

think sometimes when its still fairly new it can be quite a shock to the system. The advice above is really good - meet up with other childminders, plan some outings, stick with it and enjoy - there will be lots of fun times.

This may be just me but I'm a mum and I find the childminders easier to talk to - when I am at toddler groups and school pick ups they are always the ones that say hello to me, ask how my day is and include me in the conversation. I've even been invited on lots of nights out.

**blue bear** · 03-09-2013, 07:29 PM

I get like this every now and agin and I've been minding 16 years, I find a change of routine gets me going again.

**VeggieSausage** · 03-09-2013, 07:36 PM

I think its even harder if you are not a mother yourself as you are just not used to looking after children at home, I am sure it will get better, ditch the nerves and get out as this is key to staying sane in this job I think.....I go out in the morning and meet up with other minders and have a full house after school but still find the middle of the day a bit lonely and wish I worked with someone else....its hard only having the conversation of children around, also they never stop talking so you never get any quiet.......we are our own boss though and on a summers day can sit in the sun etc so it has its benefits too...

**sprinkles** · 03-09-2013, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by VeggieSausage

I think its even harder if you are not a mother yourself as you are just not used to looking after children at home, I am sure it will get better, ditch the nerves and get out as this is key to staying sane in this job I think.....I go out in the morning and meet up with other minders and have a full house after school but still find the middle of the day a bit lonely and wish I worked with someone else....its hard only having the conversation of children around, also they never stop talking so you never get any quiet.......we are our own boss though and on a summers day can sit in the sun etc so it has its benefits too...

I agree with the going out bit! I've only been minding for 2 weeks but have already found I am out of the house by 9.30am at the latest and off for a walk and to the shops/park/library/feed ducks! Going to start going to toddlers one or two mornings a week too!

Have contacted another minder to meet up but it's hard because she has lots of part time mindees that come and go at different times so she's not able to make toddlers etc in the mornings and then my mindee usually sleeps all afternoon so doesn't give us much scope for meeting!

Simona · 03-09-2013, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by sprinkles

I agree with the going out bit! I've only been minding for 2 weeks but have already found I am out of the house by 9.30am at the latest and off for a walk and to the shops/park/library/feed ducks! Going to start going to toddlers one or two mornings a week too!

Have contacted another minder to meet up but it's hard because she has lots of part time mindees that come and go at different times so she's not able to make toddlers etc in the mornings and then my mindee usually sleeps all afternoon so doesn't give us much scope for meeting!

Have you suggested playtime? you go to her house and she can come to you, have lunch together and slowly things will be better!

**yummyripples** · 03-09-2013, 08:23 PM

What area are you in? Perhaps some childminders on here could suggest good places to go x

**BlondeMoment** · 03-09-2013, 08:58 PM

I fel exactly the same when I first started. Your Development Officer (person who visits you about your childminding) should be able to give you the details of your local children's centre. My one hosts a childminder's morning once a month and it's been great for introducing me to other childminders in the area. It's really nice to have a few contacts and we meet up for play dates weekly now. It's lovely cos we get to have a chat while the children socialise too and it feels a lot less lonely. Sometimes I'm actually quite grateful not to have anyone to meet and just play with the kids lol

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 03-09-2013, 09:06 PM

This happens to me when I am housebound. I give myself a major kick up the a** and get out and about. Even if it is just to the park or Starbucks for a coffee, it will buck you up.

**greanan** · 03-09-2013, 11:00 PM

I don't have any kids of my own either so can relate to you. Def get out the house and mixing with other adults!! I go to toddler groups and think I'd go mad without it!!! Days are so busy and full of kids chatting away but I find I really need to speak to another adult for a little while lol!! Even just chatting to adults at nursery drop off etc helps xx

**bunnyjess** · 04-09-2013, 07:40 AM

Thank you everyone it really helps getting other people's views. I just feel quite ill at the minute. Think I've got a virus. What do you normally do when you're ill? I don't know what to do

**Samantha_j41** · 04-09-2013, 07:55 AM

When i first started i felt like this! I thought what have i done, this isnt the path for me i was very lonely and the family i minded were not suited to me and my family. Then i started going to toddler groups, and met childminders locally who i meet up with everyday whether its a coffee at the house or groups/park. I love the job now and cant believe i almost quit! Meet childminders locally xx

**Leela** · 04-09-2013, 07:58 AM

If you are not well you can take time of from working, do you have a sickness policy in place? Not feeling well also contributes to you feeling low about your work. It sounds like you need to take some time of and get better it's hard to look after children when you are not well yourself.

**bunnyjess** · 04-09-2013, 08:01 AM

I've got a sickness policy for the children but not for myself. I think I am feeling quite low because of being ill. Not sure what to do as I don't want to let the parents down. I've got two all day today and I'm not sure how well I'm going to cope :-/

**Becci26** · 04-09-2013, 08:10 AM

How old are the 2 you have today?

If I am feeling unwell I sometimes have a home day, we have a 'cinema' and watch a film and encourage a bit more free play from the children. I would just mention to mum in drop off that you are feeling under the weather and will be having a relaxed day :-)