What you do is fun, so it is not like work at all!!

[EmmaReed84]

So cross with DH!

Yesterday was an extremely busy day, mindees arrived and by 9.30am we had all the paints out and we were making loo roll butterflies, and various other butterfly pictures. I also made a batch of cupcakes for each child... 4 batches in total (my house smells yum). Add to this all the clearing up afterwards and the fact I managed to spill a whole cup of coffee, a bag of rice, a pint of water and the rubbish from the bin... Oh and had to clear up mindees poo! Yesterday was extremely draining! The activities were fun, but I was exhausted by the evening.

DH walks in from work and says "Baby, fancy making me a coffee, I have had a hell of a day!" I laughed, put the kettle on and said my day hadn't been any better. Then he said "But what you do is fun! All the painting, crafting, baking, it's not like you work at all!"

"what?????????"

"Well, I would rather do what you get to do, it sounds like you had fun. Getting to paint, spend time with the kids, playing, it is not like proper work is it?"

Does he seriously think the paints, crafts and baking things, just magically appear and then magically clear itself up afterwards? Does he actually think I am totally engrossed with one child at a time baking and not having to make sure the other 3 are entertained at the same time as making sure the one baking is not throwing all the flour about? Does he think that all the meals and the dishes afterwards just magically happen as well...

[shortstuff]

Sounds like he needs a day if working alongside you x

My oh had a week off work when the schools broke up and spent his time hiding upstairs lol x

[miffy]

"Well, I would rather do what you get to do, it sounds like you had fun. Getting to paint, spend time with the kids, playing, it is not like proper work is it?"

:

I think I'd take myself off for the weekend and leave him to "have fun" with your kids - he might change his mind.

It's hard enough getting parents to accept we do a "proper job" without getting the same from our partners.

Miffy xx

[EmmaReed84]

I think I'd take myself off for the weekend and leave him to "have fun" with your kids - he might change his mind.

It's hard enough getting parents to accept we do a "proper job" without getting the same from our partners.

Miffy xx

He used to have our boys on a Saturday when I worked in a shop. He used to tidy up and have dinner ready for when I got back and thinks because he thought it was "easy" that my job is easy. Also when we are both at home, we can relax.

I explained all the things I do with the children that baking cakes is not just baking, it talking to them, looking at various steps, measuring, observing what they are doing and making mental notes of what they say, so you can think of next steps...

His reply to that was "Well you choose to do all that though, you don't have too! I bet you are the only CM to do all that!"

Bless him, he really has no clue! He actually does think all I do is play!

[miffy]

You could always offer to make him your assistant so he can play too!

Perhaps he is envious and wishes he could stay at home with your boys.

Miffy xx

[Daftbat]

Thank you for making me laugh this morning!!!

I think you have hit the nail on the head for anyone who ever ever ever thought that our job was easy. We are like swans - all fun and calm on the surface and dashing around like mad beneath the surface. So much effort goes in to planning, preparing and executing activities. My hubby is very supportive and has the week off work next week - built in assistant!!!!

He suggested I did Wife Swap once years ago and then changed his mind - he said the other woman wouldn't cope for half a day!!!!

Any time anyone makes glib comments to any of us regarding how difficult our "job" is just keep smiling safe in the knowledge that you are 99% positive that they couldn't actually do the job.. We are special people ladies and gents

[karensmart4]

My hubby used to be like this until I was seriously ill a few years ago, he took a week off work to help out my co-minder and our assistant he soon changed his mind !!

But that is now a distant memory for him except when he starts to say anything I give him a 'look' and he turns it around and says that my work is mentally hard but his is physically and mentally hard ....

Having a girly weekend away and leaving him with the kids for a weekend sound good to me

[AgentTink]

DH walks in from work and says "Baby, fancy making me a coffee, I have had a hell of a day!" I laughed, put the kettle on and said my day hadn't been any better. Then he said "But what you do is fun! All the painting, crafting, baking, it's not like you work at all!"

"what?????????"

"Well, I would rather do what you get to do, it sounds like you had fun. Getting to paint, spend time with the kids, playing, it is not like proper work is it?"

I am sorry, but i am going to be in the minority here, and I agree with your husband even if he does choose the wrong words at the end.

I do this job because I love having fun with the kids. After years of working in call centres, somedays i cant believe i get paid to paint, craft, bake, sing, dance, giggle, walk through forests, etc.

My partner was off for 4 weeks recently and he enjoyed every single minute with me and the kids. I have never seen him so stress free, relaxed, not talking about office politics and enjoying being one of the kids. I did say to him I didnt want him to go back to his "proper job"!!

I know at times when I am carefree, and everything is going smoothly with parents, I must look to outsiders as if I have not a care in the world, and I am the first to say I love being paid to play with my little buddies everyday.

[munch149]

My oh always says this and it does annoy me but in some ways I can see the poster aboves point but I think it applies if you love your job full stop. If you love the job you do it doesn't feel like such hard work. I have had so many parents say to me 'I couldn't do your job' and no not everyone could. There is hardwork involved and yes i do feel tired at the end of a busy day but i do have fun. It is real job tho and will never let anyone else say otherwise. Your oh probably doesn't enjoy his job much so sees every element of it as stressful. My job can be stressful but on most days I do exactly the same as I would do with my daughter just with more kids and I love that I don't miss out on the time whilst she's young

[kellib]

My mum says this to me but she also readily admits that she couldn't do this job. I couldn't do hers either so there you go

[bunyip]

CMing: not really a "proper" job, is it?

When I hear this, I'm reminded of the prize-winning children's author Philip Pullman. He says he got heartily sick of being asked when he was going to stop writing for children and pen a "proper" novel instead. His reply (I paraphrase here) was along the lines of, "do paediatric surgeons ever get asked when they're going to start operating on proper patients?"

[Daftbat]

I am sorry, but i am going to be in the minority here, and I agree with your husband even if he does choose the wrong words at the end.

I do this job because I love having fun with the kids. After years of working in call centres, somedays i cant believe i get paid to paint, craft, bake, sing, dance, giggle, walk through forests, etc.

My partner was off for 4 weeks recently and he enjoyed every single minute with me and the kids. I have never seen him so stress free, relaxed, not talking about office politics and enjoying being one of the kids. I did say to him I didnt want him to go back to his "proper job"!!

I know at times when I am carefree, and everything is going smoothly with parents, I must look to outsiders as if I have not a care in the world, and I am the first to say I love being paid to play with my little buddies everyday.

I fully agree with everything you say regarding the pleasure that our job brings - I wouldn't swap it (well most of the time!). However, a lot of people really don't understand the amount of effort which goes in to ensuring that the children are fully occupied alongside all the paperwork etc.

[EmmaReed84]

I am sorry, but i am going to be in the minority here, and I agree with your husband even if he does choose the wrong words at the end.

I do this job because I love having fun with the kids. After years of working in call centres, somedays i cant believe i get paid to paint, craft, bake, sing, dance, giggle, walk through forests, etc.

My partner was off for 4 weeks recently and he enjoyed every single minute with me and the kids. I have never seen him so stress free, relaxed, not talking about office politics and enjoying being one of the kids. I did say to him I didnt want him to go back to his "proper job"!!

I know at times when I am carefree, and everything is going smoothly with parents, I must look to outsiders as if I have not a care in the world, and I am the first to say I love being paid to play with my little buddies everyday.

I do get what you are saying and yes as much as I love painting, crafting, baking, playing with the children, that is most definitely a massive plus side of this job... But that is what it still is, a job, a proper job, with a downside too... Such as preparing it all, clearing it all away, dealing with poo and wee, and crying children. sometimes all at the same time... Making sure as much as I am doing the activities for the children to enjoy, I am having to do the paper work to PROVE I am doing the job properly, all for one person to come out for one day in three years to judge me.

I think it just irks me sometimes that as much as I get to have fun, I also have to work hard! Just like he works hard too, but he still gets to joke about with office banter and go out for break etc.

I am not looking for him to say "there there you poor thing!" just more the recognition that what I am doing is work and there are elements which are not so fun and it can be stressful.

[Supernanny86]

I can see both sides of this but it annoys when they say its not a proper job when they admit they couldn't do it!!

People have no idea how much stress and energy goes in to ensure that kids are having fun and are safe!!!

[FussyElmo]

I am sorry, but i am going to be in the minority here, and I agree with your husband even if he does choose the wrong words at the end.

I do this job because I love having fun with the kids. After years of working in call centres, somedays i cant believe i get paid to paint, craft, bake, sing, dance, giggle, walk through forests, etc.

My partner was off for 4 weeks recently and he enjoyed every single minute with me and the kids. I have never seen him so stress free, relaxed, not talking about office politics and enjoying being one of the kids. I did say to him I didnt want him to go back to his "proper job"!!

I know at times when I am carefree, and everything is going smoothly with parents, I must look to outsiders as if I have not a care in the world, and I am the first to say I love being paid to play with my little buddies everyday.

I agree its not about us having proper jobs but because we (mostly) enjoy and it is carefree. People assume because their working life is so stressful that we cannot be actually working.

If we have an activity planned and it doesn't get done it doesn't matter theres no knock on effect to other staff etc.

I will always make dh a drink when he gets in because no matter how tired I am his day will most probably have been worse. He has to deal with bosses, other members of staff, area manager etc etc.

We should embrace the fact that other people don't think we do a proper job because how fab is it that we are but are enjoying it with a big smile on our face

[bunyip]

I too can see both sides of it. It's an enjoyable job, but still a job - and not always an easy one at that.

The basic problem is that a paternalistic view of any "domestic" work is still perpetuated. CMing is still seen in the same way as "motherhood".

The sad thing is that it's no longer just about men preserving archaic privileges. In fact, these days, it's more about the attitude of 'career women' to the CMs they need in order to "have it all" and also a sneering attitude towards any mum (or dad) who stays at home to care for the children. Listen to Woman's Hour and it's packed with bourgeois careerists who massage their own egos by implying how terribly demeaning it would be to be stuck at home.

In More Affordable Childcare, government pays disingenuous lip-service, saying, "For many parents, staying at home to look after their children is a natural choice that is right for their children and right for them. We absolutely support parents who want to make that choice." No they don't. They need parents to over-saturate the labour market in order for big businesses to suppress wage demands and workers' rights with the constant threat of unemployment.

Oh no, I'm off on one again.

[kellyskidz!]

I always say to my partner we'll swap jobs when he moans about me 'playing all day'
He works on the railways so I accept his job is physically tiring but try running around after 2 toddlers and 2 four years olds, feeding them all, changing nappies, wiping noses, stopping arguments, planning, observing, setting up activities, carrying out activities, tidying up after activities, cooking meal, serving meal, tidying up after meal, cleaning children after meal, getting 3 children who dont want to sleep to sleep ....and that's just the morning over with!
H'd be in for a shock lol! I think really they do know we work hard, they just enjoy a little dig to keep our blood boiling

[donna porter]

My dh thinks I just have play dates and coffee mornings all the time lol

[Tazmin68]

Im lucky dh had knee surgery and was home for 10 weeks.
I would have loved having someone say that this week.
Monday - bathed condition and nitty gritty one child.
Tuesday - play house window broken
Wednesday- child sick in car only valeted 2 weeks ago.
Thursday- outing so out in the car with 6 children 3 soaked in paddle pool at park. Ordered replacement car seats which needed needed new ece label. Old ones to tip.
Friday- 14 month old sick all over shoulder down legs and slippers fortunatly just while mom dropped him off so back home he went so shower and steam mop floor. Plus car seats arrived and fitted.

[bunyip]

I always say to my partner we'll swap jobs when he moans about me 'playing all day'
He works on the railways so I accept his job is physically tiring but try running around after 2 toddlers and 2 four years olds, feeding them all, changing nappies, wiping noses, stopping arguments, planning, observing, setting up activities, carrying out activities, tidying up after activities, cooking meal, serving meal, tidying up after meal, cleaning children after meal, getting 3 children who dont want to sleep to sleep ....and that's just the morning over with!
H'd be in for a shock lol! I think really they do know we work hard, they just enjoy a little dig to keep our blood boiling

Your partner should make an excellent CM then.

I used to work on the railways, and having got used to 1000's of members of the travelling public every day behaving like 2 year-olds, I was fully prepared for a mere 3 every day actually being 2 year-olds.

It also meant I was completely prepared for the lo's doing what the passengers did: using a public space as a public toilet.