Feeling fed up today

**Bevbeetle** · 10-07-2008, 09:55 AM

feeing down today, nothing going right feel used and fed up. why do mindee parents think we are only there for them i said this morning bothmy kids won awards at school i going to watch them get them next week (was planning on taking mindees with me) one of parents said my son won one to i dont want you to take xx(younger sibling) because she will be there and they would want to go to her ! i said well im not missing out on watching my own children her reply well what you going to do with my child !!!!!!!!!!!!
I phoned my husband to seeif he would go instead of me he went mad said i was to go and she should sort her own child out!

Now feeling down the other parents said they would take time off so i could go on my own

**MrsBergy** · 10-07-2008, 11:07 AM

You have a right and a responsibility to see your own child get an award. I would state it in a very matter of fact way that you will be going and that you are happy either to take or not take your mindees and give the parents that choice. Also mention that if they choose to keep their child home you will deduct that time from their bill - that might sweeten it for them. Smile while you say all of this

. There are often siblings at these sorts of things and they all need to get used to it . If the mindees do go with you remember to keep lots of little snacks/drinks/toys handy to keep them occupied. Good Luck

btw Isn't she going too to see her own son?

**MrsBergy** · 10-07-2008, 11:07 AM

You have a right and a responsibility to see your own child get an award. I would state it in a very matter of fact way that you will be going and that you are happy either to take or not take your mindees and give the parents that choice. Also mention that if they choose to keep their child home you will deduct that time from their bill - that might sweeten it for them. Smile while you say all of this

. There are often siblings at these sorts of things and they all need to get used to it . If the mindees do go with you remember to keep lots of little snacks/drinks/toys handy to keep them occupied. Good Luck

Pipsqueak · 10-07-2008, 11:18 AM

Oh Bev, how darned ignorant of that parent.

I would tell (not ask) them again that you are going to see your son collect his award and you will be taking mindees with you. If parents wish you can hand children over at the event (if they are there) or before hand and you will consider this period "unpaid time of" - if you want to do it that way. Or you can give them the choice - you will either take their child with you as normal and you will be paid (as normal) or if they don;t want you to take their child tell them this is their decision not to use your minding service (its available) and you will bill them for this time (as normal).

sorry hun don't let them ruin your special family moments or dictate to you.

This is YOUR sons moment and he deserves to have you there and YOU deserve to be there.

**wendywu** · 10-07-2008, 11:31 AM

I agree with Pip on this one.

In fact in honest truth i would have said to her and i quote " please dont tell me what i am and am not going to do"

If they dont want their child to do what you have planned to do with them then they can take the child out of the setting for that time and you go ahead with your plans. Her wants are not your problem.

**sarah707** · 10-07-2008, 11:31 AM

Put your family first ... and enjoy their success

**katickles** · 10-07-2008, 11:38 AM

Go & watch your son - she will have to arrange alternative care for her lo if she doesn't want you to take her along.

**littletreasures** · 10-07-2008, 11:44 AM

You have to go and see your children get their awards. If she doesn't want mindee to go it is up to her to seek an alternative.

littletreasures

**Bevbeetle** · 10-07-2008, 11:51 AM

thanks everyone i have calmed down now. When she comes tonight i will tell her my plans and she will have to work around them.
My kids will always come first sometimes this job can take over your life

**Heaven Scent** · 10-07-2008, 12:03 PM

Oh my God what a C*w - Who does she think she is ????????????????? What time is presentation? These things are usually 1st thing or last thing in school day and I presume parent will be needing to take a couple of hours off work ie either in morning or aft why cant she have LO while she is there and hand her over to you when it is all over. Its her child and if she is haveing time off work to watch here other child why cant she spend some time with LO - This makes my blood boil. and How B****y dare she tell you you cannot go you are available to have her child and during that time she will be going to the school with you and if mum doesn't like that arrangement then its up to her to sort alternative arrangements for LO and still pay you as you didn't say you couldn't have her.

Celine

**barbarella68** · 10-07-2008, 12:03 PM

Hi Bev,our school puts on a creche for younger kids so what I do if I want to see my son in a play or get an award I put mindees in the creche.
I get parents to sign a form they are fine and it's only fo half an hour or so and it is free.
Doesn't your school do this?Then your mindee won't see the sibling.

**foxy lady** · 10-07-2008, 04:13 PM

you go and watch your child , be proud, and dont worry about others,
you have offered to take the children if that does not suit the parents they will need to sort it out thenselves

**disney** · 10-07-2008, 05:14 PM

does this woman think you dont have a life of your own how rude ! i agree with what has been said , you cant let your own children down

tell her that you have to go with her child or she can sort out some other child care for then x

**Rubybubbles** · 10-07-2008, 05:17 PM

sorry shes being a

agree with everyone, but I wouldn't offer no fee hehe

Originally Posted by barbarella68

Hi Bev,our school puts on a creche for younger kids so what I do if I want to see my son in a play or get an award I put mindees in the creche.
I get parents to sign a form they are fine and it's only fo half an hour or so and it is free.
Doesn't your school do this?Then your mindee won't see the sibling.

whoa that sounds fab!!! no chance of that in my school

**ChocolateChip** · 10-07-2008, 08:05 PM

One of my lo's has older siblings at our school, they quite often have class assemblies or special services (it's a church school) where family is invited, and mum is fine with me taking lo aswell as my own lo who sees her big bro and sis. They love seeing the big children and joining in with the singing and clapping. It's a great way to get them used to the place if they are going to attend there later.

Don't let her dictate what happens in your family, your kids also need your support and they must come first!

My older two attend a few clubs during the week and I have written a handout explaining at what times I will out of the house due to taking/collecting from clubs, that they can arrange pick-up from the other locations or that their child can attend the clubs, (if approppriate) otherwise they have to wait until we get back! I stated that I don't want my own children to miss out and so far it has worked out ok. Perhaps you should do something similar, or list school events in your activities page, then they can't complain!

Hope you sort this one out, good luck!!

**Chimps Childminding** · 11-07-2008, 10:03 PM

Sometimes you have to put your own family first (difficult I know). Tell this mum that you ARE going to see your son's presentation, you are quite happy to take xxx with you, but if she is not then could she arrange alternative care as you are not prepared to miss out!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and well done to your son you must be proud!

**mrsb** · 12-07-2008, 10:41 AM

OMG! what a damn cheek

I really hope you sorted it and just told them what you will be doing.
Like the others have said

You HAVE to put you and your own family first.

I've had parents who seem to think they own me because they think they are doing me a favour by paying me to look after their children

**mrsb** · 12-07-2008, 10:42 AM

oh and well done to your son too x

**Heaven Scent** · 12-07-2008, 03:27 PM

I hope it all works out for you - keep us posted

**ajs** · 12-07-2008, 04:41 PM

sorry what's wrong with the lo sitting on mum's lap during the ceremony ( is that what youy meant that lo would want to sit with her) and then being given back to you after the event
is mum so petty that she wouldn't want to look after her own child while celebrating the award ceremony of her other child and so you could enjoy your kid's achievements

bizarre

you go enjoy your time and forget her she's not worth the hassle