Please help... Nanny in need

[rebecca179]

Someone please help!!

I look after twin 3 year old girls and a 9 year old boy.

The 9 year old has such bad behaviour. I've tried every reward I can think of for good behaviour.
I am aware there is a big awa

Someone please help me find a way to kerb this bad behaviour.

[shortstuff]

youve tried rewards but how are you implementing them?

I always set the required standard before we do anything and let them know consequences of what will happen if they misbehave. I also let them know at the outset what the reward will be if they are good.

[rebecca179]

* I am aware that were is a big age gap between the children and he gets wound up. But he screams in their face and grabs them by the arms or hair and squeezes them so it hurts. Any help with this too??

[FussyElmo]

* I am aware that were is a big age gap between the children and he gets wound up. But he screams in their face and grabs them by the arms or hair and squeezes them so it hurts. Any help with this too??

Rebecca remember that the care of any 8 years old must not impact on the younger children. If it is you can serve immediate notice and it is if he is being violent to them.

What do the parents say when you talk to them?
If they are not taking it seriously then inform as inline with the EFYS guidance you will serve immediate notice if he hurts another child :-(

[FussyElmo]

Rebecca remember that the care of any 8 years old must not impact on the younger children. If it is you can serve immediate notice and it is if he is being violent to them.

What do the parents say when you talk to them?
If they are not taking it seriously then inform as inline with the EFYS guidance you will serve immediate notice if he hurts another child :-(

Sorry are you a childminder or a nanny? If a nanny then ignore what I just said.

[loocyloo]

I think Rebecca might be a nanny in which case the children are siblings?
How do the parents deal with the issue? If he had been an only child and then when he was 6 suddenly there were 2 babies taking up his parents attention and also a nanny's attention he is going to do what he can for attention and he possibly is not keen on having his activities curtailed by small childrens needs. He has also had a few years to reach this stage!

Plus he will be at school with friends his own age and then he is 'stuck' at home with the 'babies' ( to quote a 9 yr old I nannied with 2 & 4 yr old siblings )

I know my own children who are older struggle with not always being able to do what they want when I have LOs around. But they go home and then we can!

I would sit down and have a chat about what he wants to do and that you understand he gets frustrated. Maybe make a list of things to do/treats etc and then I would probably use a marble jar. Start off with say 10 in it and then a bag with more marbles in. Every time he does something nice/kind/helpful,you notice that he didn't scream in their faces/pull them etc he can put a marble in the jar. If he does something he shouldn't then he takes a marble out. I would set target at 15 to start with and try to get it really quickly to encourage him.

Good luck. I know how wearing it is. I hope the parents are on board with you, as it will be really hard otherwise.

Ps..Around 8 yrs, boys have a testosterone boost which may have just kicked in and they do become vile and grumpy and not nice! (Still do usually have their nice moments:-))

[jackie 7]

Talk to the parents. Now they might not believe you. At 9 he is old enough to understand that he should not hurt them. Remover things he likes like psp or Xbox. But this will only work if parents are on your side. I have been there and mum ignored the fact her darling daughter was a bully.