Stressed! Not sure what to do for the best.

**CJstar** · 14-05-2013, 03:55 PM

Hello,

I'm after some advice, I recently lost one of my full timers as they have relocated, and have since took on a lil boy who's 10 months.

I'm also just about to go through fertility treatment, unfortunately when I took the lil one on, nothing was happening so thought all would be fine.

However, he came for his settling in session last week and it was maniac! With him was a 1yr old, and a 3yr old. It took a couple of months to get the 1 yr old settled and it was like we'd gone back to day one! It was so stressful and felt like I was spreading myself too thin and in two!

He came again today and it was exactly the same, only he's started this week for 3 days. I mentioned to mum that he doesn't like being left in a room, playpen, high chair, car seat etc, he's only happy when he's in your arms. She said "oh that's my fault".

I'm not sure what to do for the best, I feel like I shouldn't give up this easily, but I feel drained as it is with the fertility issue, and its took me and my hubby two years to get this far and we could be starting treatment any month now so I should be excited but all I can think about is work. Whether or not I did the right thing about taking the new one on, what I'm going to do while I'm going through treatment as they can send for you as and when and there will be little notice! My hubby, bless him, keeps telling me to cut my hours or number of children as I do feel like everything is on top of me at the moment (he's seen the state i get myself into) and its the last thing I need when undergoing fertility treatment.

I hate letting people down and I'm really unsure what to do for the best, I don't know if any of you have been in this situation or similar but any help or adivce would be gratefully received.

Sorry for rambling on!

C x

**Petshrinklj** · 14-05-2013, 04:02 PM

Hmmm not sure what to advice really. If you really feel like y cat cope then maybe you will have o give notice bu things am settle down he hasn't been with you long.
The positive thing is as you'll be so busy with the kids it will help take your mind of fertility. I was TTc for a long while and the time waiting to find out if I was pregnant was torture. It does help to keep busy.
Goodluck whatever you decide and best if luck with the treatment
X

**newbie** · 14-05-2013, 04:03 PM

I went through fertility treatment 11 years ago and completely understand where u r coming from. It was so stressful and my hormones were shot to bits with all the drugs I had to take. I wasn't minding at the time thankfully and honestly don't know how I would have coped if I was! If u can afford to lessen the amount of children u have then do it! Big hugs and best of luck xxxx I was blessed with triplets by the time my treatment finished

xxx

**freckleonear** · 14-05-2013, 04:09 PM

I have no experience with fertility treatment but it sounds really stressful. Would a sling help for the 10 month old? Then you could wear him on your back/front and have your hands free to do other stuff.

**FussyElmo** · 14-05-2013, 04:17 PM

If you are finding it that stressful. Did you put a settling in period in your contract if so use it before the lo does settle with you.

**jackie 7** · 14-05-2013, 04:29 PM

I agree with fussy. Sounds terrible but it sounds like you have enough to do without extra stress.

**CJstar** · 14-05-2013, 04:35 PM

Hiya, thank you for all your quick replies.

I have thought about the settling in period of the contract and have mentioned to mum already that he's a lil clingy. I think it's just really rubbish timing to be honest, as working with children and then going all through the fertility issues, it's hardwork. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and chose to do this as I can stay at home with my own children if I have them, but obviously you don't expect there to be any issues etc.

Newbie - it's so nice to read success stories... And triplets? how lucky! Like I've said it's been a long road so far, we've been told we are having treatment 2-3 times now and the funding fell through or the pct got things wrong etc, so to finally be here and waiting for the appointment is exciting but I feel like there's this dread hanging over me as I'm unsure what I'm going to do regarding work.

Fussy and Jackie, I hate letting ppl down and have said I need to make my mind up as I don't want him to settle here and then I decide I need to cut back a lil, I just feel like I'm getting it from all angles, with my hubby telling me to slow down a bit but me being worried about letting others down. I think I need to put my business head on, and think practically. ...

C x

**Tazmin68** · 14-05-2013, 04:36 PM

I remember when I was taking the drugs etc for ivf the way that hormones were all over the place. Having hot flushes in January and putting the air con on and windows open in the car!!!!

I think perhaps see how things go but if no changes def give notice when you start treatment if you can afford to do so. I know the cost of the drugs were quite high when we did it.

By the way the ivf did not work for us. Unexplained infertility. We then went through the adoption process and we were about to meet an 18 month old little boy when I fell pregnant naturally with my oldest son ho is now 10 and since had another boy who is 5 again a surprise.