Child not settling doesnt come often enough

[smurfette]

Just after some quick advice before I ring mum to chat .. Lo is 12 months only comes 5/6 days a month, eg this week was here thurs and fri but now not here for two weeks. She cries all day, she is teething but I don't think that's the problem though its hard to tell I don't know her well enough. She sets off my other 12 month old mindee who is not used to noise and they both spent most of today and yesterday crying.. I am frazzled!

Question is how do I help her settle? I know all the usual tricks but wondering if I got mum to leave her in for a couple of hours in between the full days for a few weeks would help? Not sure i want to subject myself to more crying but also wondering if I do is that really helping . Will it just mean she can be ok for a couple of hours but not a full day? And if I stop these short sessions cos she is better will be back to square one after???

[3 little ducks]

Do you have any time during week when lo could come when theres no others so you could spend some one on one time with them? i have 3 diff los that only come one day a week each, one of which was diff to settle, to be honest i just persevered and stuck with it and we got there, not sure how. Good luck. xx

[angeldelight]

I feel for you

I have one the same screaming and unsettled ...

I've tried everything too

Patience and lots of it I think

Good luck

Angel xx

[Essbops]

I hope you sort it. Do you know If they settle well elsewhere?

[lauredt]

Does the child visit other places with mum/dad when she is not with you? Maybe you could meet the family outside of her normal hours, at toddler groups for example, the baby would get used to seeing you around her parents and you would become a more familiar face? My latest addition only came 1 day a week to start of with, but I had met her so many times at various groups before she started, she fitted right in on her first day.

[smurfette]

Do you have any time during week when lo could come when theres no others so you could spend some one on one time with them? i have 3 diff los that only come one day a week each, one of which was diff to settle, to be honest i just persevered and stuck with it and we got there, not sure how. Good luck. xx

Thanks for quick reply, I don't I am quite full at mo but have talked to mum about couple of extra sessions for couple
Of hours in mornings when it is quieter

[smurfette]

I hope you sort it. Do you know If they settle well elsewhere?

Seems ok, but usually minded at home by relatives other days so I guess it's different

[smurfette]

I feel for you

I have one the same screaming and unsettled ...

I've tried everything too

Patience and lots of it I think

Good luck

Angel xx

Thanks good to know I am not alone (not that I am glad u are suffering too!)

[smurfette]

Does the child visit other places with mum/dad when she is not with you? Maybe you could meet the family outside of her normal hours, at toddler groups for example, the baby would get used to seeing you around her parents and you would become a more familiar face? My latest addition only came 1 day a week to start of with, but I had met her so many times at various groups before she started, she fitted right in on her first day.

Will think about this thanks!

[safcfluff]

I have a similar problem. I have a lo that comes one day a week. He cries a lot while he's here bless him. He settles after a couple of hours. He's only here for a few hours so by the time he's settled it's almost time for him to go home again. I don't know the answer.

[smurfette]

Have agreed with mum for Lo to do a couple of short sessions in between her long days, poor mum was distraught thinking I was going to give her notice! Hoping if she sees mum / dad come back after a couple of hours she won't feel so abandoned. Apparently she is fine with other care givers after a few mins but that is usually at her house. There are glimmers where I can see she is bonding with me or plays happily so hopefully that means its not in vain! Will let u know how we get on , thanks all for support and advice

[smurfette]

So Lo came for two hours this am and she wasnt too bad , she didnt cry if she was sat on my lap (I sat on floor with her) but did object if I moved away or one of the other los came near! That I think is an improvement, she is heavy (this is the little one who is given sugar in her water bottle!) so not practical to cart her around but I think it is something workable on! Think I found it tougher last week as mine were off school too, so hopefully now back in routine it will be better! Thanks all