Dummy help ?????

[Hatchlings]

Hi i am fairly new to childminding i reg in september, I had a little girl aged 2 start in sept & is still with me (she will be 3 in aug) I never did dummys with my own children & dont really like them i managed to get the little girl to arrive by xmas & as she getts out the car she puts dummy in her bag & even has her nap with me with out taken it out she self settles to sleep yet at home she has to fall asleep in mums arms & as soon as mum arrives she sayes i need dummy & mum gives it to her, I tryed saying why do you need that when not had it here reply mum lets me, I tryed talking to mum & she said she just screams with out it, I even said at xmas we made a special box for santa to take it to the new babys, her speech is effected & the mum has said she dont want to attend the 2 yr review as knows what they will say, she has a 5 yr old at home who some times needs hers at bed. I so want to help mum to loose the dummys totally from both children ( i dont have the older one i just hope what ever we do with toddler she can follow for 5yr old) any help advice i can try be greatfull.

[shortstuff]

Sorry no real advice for you except stay consistant while LO is with you. Encourage mum that its about time that both lo's could do with out them. Im sure someone on here will have a link to something you can print off for mum or a brain wave. Good luck finding an answer.

[kats]

I dont have any problem with dummies, my 3 children all had them and every child i have ever minded has had one. I wouldnt really see it my place to take the dummy away altogether, after saying that though the children with me certainly dont have the dummy in all day mainly when they are upset, tired or sleeping

[clareelizabeth1]

You need to tell mum to limit the use of the dummy to in bed only or if ill.
If she was using a toy instead of a dummy would you still have an issue with it. I put all dummys away during the day but the minute parents pick them up they are strait back in. You will be amazed at how much difference one day without a dummy help with speech.its a hard one but as long as you have voiced your concerns to mum written them down somewhere there is not much else you can do. Apart from what you are already doing.

[blue bear]

It's not the little girl who has the problem it's mum, in my experience you will get no where untll mum decides its time to stop. Carry on with limiting it at yours, when you write up any assessments use the ecat monitoring tool to write what level her speech is at especially the sounds on the second page. Seeing it in black and white can sometimes energise mum into seeking help.
You say she has speech problems, reassure her it can be dealy with and she really needs to go to the 2 year check, try to keep down your opinions on the dummy as she might avoid it so they don't say it her fault (her over using the dummy probably is)but that's not the important thing at the moment it's the getting into the system for help that needs to come first

[phoenix2010]

Tell Mum that dummys will not only effect speech but get in the way of her development in other ways too , eg socialising and could push her teeth forwards

Clearly the child can manage without the dummy and the problem is mum , she cant deal with the repercussions of not letting her child have her own way , so at the moment its the dummy and as she gets older it will be something else and then something else , and so it goes on

Neither of my children had dummys and none of my mindees have

I took on one 3 yr old in August who had a dummy , she also has speech problems and is seeing a therapist , I told Mum that I wanted her to send lo without a dummy and she agreed , it was an issue for a couple of days then she forgot all about it , she stays full days and naps here without dummy

This has led to Mum taking it away at home to and the child no longer has one

I think mum was relieved when I said that I wanted lo to come without her dummy , it meant me making the decision and not her and made the whole thing easier for her

Perhaps she could give them to the Easter bunny ? but Mum will have to be strong and take them away from both children at the same time , cue a few nights of screaming , but they will get over it and its the best thing in the long run

[Hatchlings]

I took all advice & had a chat with mum she dont know if she can cope with screaming children & said she may try if i do a chart or some thing to support her so i guess thats a start as i said the child dont want it here never asks for it just sees mum & asks & mum takes it out her pocket in to lols mouth today I didnt give her a chance we was telling mum about all the easter bits we done haha.

[phoenix2010]

Ive had a thought reading your last post

delaying tactics might work

so instead of mum taking dummy away and saying "no you cant have it " she can say "yes its in the car" for a few days , then "yes its at home " for a few days " then "yes after dinner " etc

so each time the child knows that she will get it but there will be a delay , until eventually she is only having it for bed

she may cope better with a delay rather than an outright no

perhaps the dummy could be substituted for a favourite teddy or toy to distract her while she waits for the dummy

im sure there will be screaming , but it might not last once she realises that she will get it , just not right away

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Dummies are a comforter just like a blanket and no matter how ugly they look if the parents give them to the children and you try not to you are fighting a losing battle.

I take dummies off of them as soon as they are dropped off and mum and dad have gone (age appropriate) and the child sees me put it in their cot. The dummy is only given at bedtime. I have just had a 2 year old (3 in June) who hasn't had a dummy with me at all for a year and the parents only managed to wean her off of it in February.

I find that the child arrives with a dummy and as soon as they see me take it out and pass it to me, this is usually a wake up call for the parents and they are shocked.

Maybe some advice leaflets from Speech Therapy will help, just pop it in the bag.