Child Telling Fibs

**SammyL** · 14-03-2013, 07:38 AM

Hi,

I posted on here a few days ago about one of my mindees telling fibs about me hitting him. I've been noting how the number of fibs he's been telling has been increasing rapidly - from small pointless lies to lies about being hit.

Mum pulled me to one side this morning & said that he's said both his mum & dad have hit him. They had a chat last night & after sticking defiantly to his stories for a llllonnnggg time he eventually told Mm & dad the truth.

Some of his actions & words I would expects of an older child.

Is this his reaction to unsuccessful pooing potty training?
Any tips or hints on how to deal with it would be great - mums in board with this now as its upset her.

I really want to help him x

**sarah707** · 14-03-2013, 07:57 AM

This type of thing can quickly turn into a serious safeguarding allegation so you are doing the right thing by noting every time the child tells a lie and working closely with parents.

Make sure you document your meeting with parents too - what they said and how you agreed to work together.

If the child attends other settings parents need to speak to the key worker urgently too.

Hopefully it's just a phase but in the meantime protect yourself as much as possible. Hugs x

**angeldelight** · 14-03-2013, 09:01 AM

Oh poor you hope your ok it's not nice when children tell lies

I agree with Sarah sounds like your going everything right

It might be more difficult getting to the bottom of why he's doing it though it could be an attention thing

I hope things settle down for you

Angel xx

**Koala** · 14-03-2013, 10:41 AM

Poor you, I bet you feel sick to the pit of your stomach having to deal with this.

At least the parents understand he is a liar and I hope this helps you feel better.

I don't know what to say for the best, but as others say - document everything, I would probably consider whether he is better off elsewhere if he is upsetting the dynamic of your setting because it isn't just him you need to think about its the other children and you!!

Good luck

**Tazmin68** · 14-03-2013, 11:29 AM

I had a child start with me just for during school holidays. He didn't want to go to a minder but dad had just got a job after a long time of employment. Mom had a thing about children being secure in a car and he was not allowed to go to friends house after school as she did not want him going in best friends dads van. In first day with me told mom that he had not worn seatbelt in my car which was wrong as alarm sound would have gone off. Next day mom accused me of over minding which was wrong. I decided to end contract stating mom obviously had issues with childcare. She actually reported to ofsted and was unfounded a long time ago 2006 but I had only minded for 6 months and nearly packed it all in.

**jackie 7** · 14-03-2013, 11:58 AM

It is terrible Shen children tell lies but at least you are working with the parents. At least he knows that everyone knows he tells lies. Good luck.

**SammyL** · 14-03-2013, 02:31 PM

Mum is now an expert after reading google!!

I've tried telling her that I think potty training & him not being ready for it has changed his behaviour but she batted straight back with 'he went to the bathroom all on his own last night' FGS!! What is wrong with some parents.

Dad is for in him into potty training. My little one is sayi g he's pooed & telling me before. Has in last few days asked to sit on potty without nappy on - these are signs, nice& easy, no pressure.
This hold gave no signs whatsoever the poor thing

**phoenix2010** · 14-03-2013, 02:48 PM

This is my worst fear

Im surprised how young children can lie too , you dont say how old yours is

*****minded from 2005 to 2008 , and one of the reasons I stopped was a mindee that lied about me to his mum , he wasnt even 3 years old and mum said she didnt listen to his stories but I always felt she didnt entirely trust me , its the worst feeling ever , and it made me think what a child could say about me and it made me doubt myself and very nervous about minding

I returned to minding about 2 years ago , and up until recently all was ok , but one mindee , almost 3 tells lies , he says Ive said things that I havnt , accuses my son of hitting him , which he hasnt , Im just glad he is leaving in a couple of weeks

I find it hard to tell his mum , because she thinks hes perfect

Im just glad that out of about 20 mindees Ive only come across this twice , but when you do its horrible

Im glad parents are on side , and hope that you can resolve it

**SammyL** · 14-03-2013, 04:10 PM

He's 32 months & Mum now thinks its just his imagination. We're both working from a similar angle but if its sill going on in a week we'll need to drawer up a behaviour plan as I'm really nervous minding around him now.

**phoenix2010** · 14-03-2013, 05:59 PM

classic example today

mindee "i remember when you left me all my own in the car and I cried "

me "really ? where was I "

mindee " on the phone and I was all on my own and crying for my mummy "

me " oh do you mean when I was on my mobile phone standing outside the car where you could see me "

mindee "yes"

me "i remember ,it was the other day but you didnt cry "

mindee " no i didnt "

**phoenix2010** · 14-03-2013, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by SammyL

He's 32 months & Mum now thinks its just his imagination. We're both working from a similar angle but if its sill going on in a week we'll need to drawer up a behaviour plan as I'm really nervous minding around him now.

I totally understand , it makes you very nervous and self concious