Awkward parents!

[Kelly Commons]

Hi guys! I am new to this so i do apologise if i make a mistake! i have been childminding for 18 months now. I mostly do enjoy the role but I have a couple of families that drive me absolutely insane!!

If I sent my child to a childminder, I know I would collect them as soon as I could becasue I want to play the mummy role, No-one else. As far as i'm concerned, I follow the EYFS and care for that child while the parents are at work, not so they can do as they please all day. I have two young children of my own so managing them with others around is difficult as they are quite jealous that i'm doing a 50 hr week being with other children.
Sorry for the rant!
Anyone else have parents who drive them crazy??

<Note from admin - edited to remove identifying details>

[*daisychain*]

As long as I am being paid I don't care how the parents spend their time to be honest

[MessybutHappy]

I agree, what they do while the child is with me is none of my concern! I also remember the odd hour or two where ours were all having fun at nursery and I was able to do the shopping/pay the bills/watch jeremy kyle without feeling guilty!!!

[margimum]

I do wonder why some people have children then can't wait to get away from them.
But that is what makes us childminders!
I enjoy being with children and I am just gratefull that I get paid to do just that!!
Try not to get resentful or you won't enjoy your job

[madmamma]

Hi guys! I am new to this so i do apologise if i make a mistake! i have been childminding for 18 months now. I mostly do enjoy the role but I have a couple of families that drive me absolutely insane!!

If I sent my child to a childminder, I know I would collect them as soon as I could becasue I want to play the mummy role, No-one else. As far as i'm concerned, I follow the EYFS and care for that child while the parents are at work, not so they can do as they please all day. I have two young children of my own so managing them with others around is difficult as they are quite jealous that i'm doing a 50 hr week being with other children.
Sorry for the rant!
Anyone else have parents who drive them crazy??

<Note from admin - edited to remove identifying details>

What is it that's driving you insane?
Parents that are paying you to look after their children presumably during contracted hours?

Frankly I question whether you are suited to doing the job you're being paid for if the children and parents are such a burden to you.

[shortstuff]

I have to say i enjoy spending time with the LO's that come here. What the parents do with their time is their business. They pay me to keep their little ones safe happy and to teach and encourage them and i do this to the best of my ability. To judge the parents because they wanted to get something done while their child was with me does seem harsh.

What is making you feel like this? Is there a place a parent has gone that you think their lo would have benefitted from going too? More than being with you?

[FussyElmo]

I dont ask what the parents are doing in the day - sometimes they tell me but as long as the children are picked up on time I really not care.

Oh and they pay me on time as well

[carol cameron]

I think that it's a bit judgemental to not approve of parents not spending time with their children really
I used to use a childminder and would have been livid if I had thought that I was being thought of that way to be honest.
As others have said, we take care of the children for whatever reason their parents bring them.

I understand that it can get frustrating when you want to spend time with your children though. Is there any way you could cut down your hours to allow this ?

[blue bear]

Your post is not clear, are they late picking up because they go off and do other things like shopping and hairdressers and not ask you before hand? That makes me cross because its rude and inconsiderate.
Finishing work early and going off for a pamper afternoon and picking up on time is fine by me as long as I know where they are for emergency contact as I don't like to rely on just mobiles because In A real emergency state like the London bombings they shut the mobile network down.

Try not to take it personal, you offer a service they can use that service for whatever they want to do as long as they stick to the contract.

[hectors house]

What is it that's driving you insane?
Parents that are paying you to look after their children presumably during contracted hours?

Frankly I question whether you are suited to doing the job you're being paid for if the children and parents are such a burden to you.

Rather harsh words I thought towards to brand new member writing their first post - who like the rest of us sometimes just wanted a rant!

Welcome Kelly, hope you have got your frustrations out of the way now and today is a frost and bright new day where you are.

[sharonmanc]

I thought like this to begin with until I got the mindset they pay me do they can go off and do as they please

[jelly jiggles]

I hear what you are saying. I have a lo with me 42 hours a week. Mum is usually late with no apology and does not work Fridays. It's been like this for 2 years now. Even when she takes booked time off work she does not spend time with lo. My problem is that lo is desperate to be loved by her. It's heart breaking.

[oxfordshirecm]

I felt like this at first too especially around certain times of the year such as Xmas eve when mum drops her four kids off to go Xmas present shopping and I'm yet to complete mine. But like the rest said I soon realised I'm getting paid to look after them whatever the reason.

Only thing that does still annoy me is if they are late picking up- no excuses or apologises and then I spy food shopping bags in car- obviously gone food shopping first and this is reason why late- grr

[sonyach]

Hello, welcome to the forum
I've worked in childcare for 20 years and I still don't get it, think its best not to try and work it out. I have 2 lo's at the moment and mums are on mat leave and still coming here. Now one lo is fine about it but the other lo is disraught that mum is at home and he can't stay with her, it does upset me to see him so sad and he's leaving in a couple of weeks.
Hope the replies haven't put you off this is a great place for advice

[mazza58]

I used to think like you, but as the years have gone on I have started to understand why they sometimes like me time without the children as they have them the other days they are not with us. I like me time so I suppose it is no different for them. Hope you will still post on this site as I find some good information on here

[caz3007]

When I first started I couldnt understand why a mum sent her children to me on her day off (flexible contract with days and hours etc) but was happy for grandma to pick up early.

But it was her choice and she was paying me for the hours, so what she did was up to her.

[angeldelight]

Have they been collecting late Kelly ?

Are they having days off but leaving their children with you ?

I have some lovely parents who love spending time with their little ones even if they get hour off work they collect early ,but I've had some parents in the past who never have their child on days off .....

Each to their own and as long as I get paid ....

If they are collecting late or expecting you to have their children for extra hours on days off well that would be a different matter .

Angel xx

[phoenix2010]

Im not entirely sure what the problem is

If im being paid to look after a child then as long as they are not picking up late with no explaination then I couldnt care less what they are doing

My son had a childminder when I was as Uni , some days I didnt have to go in , but I still took him there , as I had assignments to do otr just catching up with housework which Id neglected doing hospital shifts , and other times Id get him early or keep him home with me , thats my decision to make and I wouldnt expect my childminder to judge me for it when she is getting paid regardless of whether she has him or not

Are you saying that if they leave work early for whatever reason they should come and collect their child straight away , even if they are paying you for the whole day

I dont really think that its our concern what parents do with their time as long as we are being paid

I have one mum who brings lo to me one morning a week so she can have a break , she has 4 kids and I dont blame her

Everyone is entitled to some "me time"

[madmamma]

Rather harsh words I thought towards to brand new member writing their first post - who like the rest of us sometimes just wanted a rant!

Welcome Kelly, hope you have got your frustrations out of the way now and today is a frost and bright new day where you are.

Point taken, however, the way the post came across the way it did to me, meant I responded the way I would have had the op been in front of me.

If I sent my child to a childminder, I know I would collect them as soon as I could becasue I want to play the mummy role, No-one else

'Play the Mummy role' Really?! How many working parents play at being a mummy?

As far as i'm concerned, I follow the EYFS and care for that child while the parents are at work, not so they can do as they please all day.

Seriously!? Then maybe the op should make this clear to parents from the outset?
'Care is only provide during contracted hours on the condition you are at work only. Should you finish work and want to catch up on any household chores to enable you to spend better quality time with your child in your free time, this is not allowed and you must collect your child early (I will of course refund any unused hours...?)'

I have two young children of my own so managing them with others around is difficult as they are quite jealous that i'm doing a 50 hr week being with other children.

So looking after other peoples children is obviously interferring too much in the op's family life, so maybe another career choice would suit more...?

Upon reflection, I notice the post has been altered by admin, so maybe the crux of the problem has been lost in the alteration?

[sarah707]

Upon reflection, I notice the post has been altered by admin, so maybe the crux of the problem has been lost in the alteration?

I did have to edit out some of the post to protect the OP from possibly being recognised and unfortunately that can sometimes cause meaning to be slightly lost, although I do my best to stop that happening.

It's very hard to know what goes on for each of us... how much each of us can take... our breaking point... and we all have different things that annoy us...


We are lucky we can come on here and splurge sometimes. We all need an outlet.

Kelly I hope you are feeling a little better about it all today. You might want to consider changing your user name so it's not your real name as that will give you more anonymity - you can send a message to Richard who can do that for you xx