Firstly, she shouldn't be talking to you in a way that you find intimidating, that is inexcusable. It sounds as if, on that basis alone, the relationship is beginning to break down.
With regards time off, how much notice for holiday is specified in your contract? Two weeks doesn't seem like much, my contracts state four, and I have worked for an employer before who required four weeks notice for me to have a day off too, so wouldn't have been able to cover your absence in just two. If she has agreed to two weeks notice in contracts then fair enough, and I would just refer her back to that. However if there isn't a specified notification period for holiday in the contract or you gave less than the time you should have (especially for something trivial like a birthday) then she probablynhas the right to be cross, especially with a further absence only a fortnight later. In the ideal world employers should be flexible enough to accommodate parents in situations like this. In reality a lot of people are fighting to keep their jobs and time off with children puts them in the firing line.
In any case, it sounds like you need to have a sit down one evening and clear the air, or give notice if you think its irretrievable.
Apologies for the random full stops. Phone buttons too small, thumbs too big.
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