Messy Divorce

[CJstar]

Hi,


I'm after a bit of advice, regarding parents going through divorce etc. As last week a parent came and was very upset and teary, she then informed me that her and Dad are separating.

Since then, after the weekend she came today and told me that Dad may come to collect LO but to not let him. I've never met Dad. I'm a little worried as obviously there's other children too. I'm worried that he may come and make a scene. If he does, where do I stand? As he is Dad and has legal rights, as my paperwork states. But, obviously I'm not sure what has happened at home for mom to say don't let dad take LO.

Never really had this situation so any help and advice would be appreciated!

Thanks in advance! x

[Shamai]

I had this the other week and unless there is a court order to prevent him, the Dad has parental rights and will be within his rights to take his child. You need to let Mum know this fact. In my case the Mum came to collect early just in case of any problems. Good luck, its not nice as we are caught in the middle but I put in a letter that I was not to be used as a go between. I received an apology from both parents x

[FussyElmo]

Regardless of what mum says unless there is a court order in plave you cannot stop dad collecting.

You need to explain this to mum.

[Tazmin68]

You need to set some from of security eg password for dad to collect but as others sad you cannot refuse dad from collecting child.

[leeanne910]

You cant refuse him.but i would be worried you havent met him....so he needs a password or he could be anyone to you.

[CJstar]

Thanks ever so much for the replies.


I thought as much, else what's the point really in the parental responsibility forms we make?

I'm waiting until mom picks LO up as I don't think dad even knows where I live etc. I've also spoken to my improvement officer and she said as I've never met dad I wouldn't release LO to him. But I said I could ask him to wait for mom etc. there is a password system already in place as I do this as soon as they start.

I will explain that since it changed in 2004 (I think) that she's not able to withhold the LO from dad unless there's a court order etc as he has parental rights also.

Thank you ever so much for your replies, just needed it clarified as its something that's not come up before so was a lil unsure.

Be lost without this site! Lol. x

[lilac_dragon]

Ask Mum to supply you with a photo of Dad, she can texxt one to you if necessary.

Be careful about assuming that Dad is the baddy here, - you don't know what went on, you only know what Mum has told you - and people don't ALWAYS tell the truth.
You need to make sure that they both realise you can't and won't take sides, you will now be the constant in this child's life.
Also, don't agree to lie/hold back information, you need to be impartial. I've told my recently separated parents that if I'm asked a direct question I will tell the truth, and that they shouldn't expect me not to!

[CJstar]

Hiya,

Yeah I've since spoken to mom and told her that dad has the same rights to his child as she does, therefore i can't deny him access etc. It's the first i've come across anything like this, a learning curve... But I think it's all sorted now, like I say, password and security system is in place.

Thank again for all your help and advice x