New mindee is a thrower, how do you deal with it?

[Tinkerbell1979]

Hi,

I have taken on a new mindee who is just 16 months old. I am struggling to get him to stop throwing toys, food and his water cup whenever he is finished or bored. Today he threw his cup and it hit the 10 month old baby mindee, I said no, it's not nice etc etc but he just looks at me, shakes his head for no and with eye contact picks something else up or the same item and throws it again - it's doing my head in - help please, any advice gratefully received.

[TAZ]

Sounds like some 'time out' (or whatever the pc term for sitting on the naughty step is now) is required. Throwing is NOT ok and he needs to know this in a consistent way. I would speak to lo's parents and see how they have been dealing with this at home.

[FussyElmo]

Hes still very young he has finished with his toy, drink etc and he is putting it down in his own way. Im sure it also fits into a schema of play but its early and brain isnt working.

i would say we dont throw drinks/toys etc and eventually he will learn

[jadavi]

The way we do time out is to remove him to a chair in the hall and sit at his feet facing him holding hands forcing eye contact and talking about his behaviour for up to five minutes. He'll soon get the idea I think.

[mrs robbie williams]

Hi,

I have taken on a new mindee who is just 16 months old. I am struggling to get him to stop throwing toys, food and his water cup whenever he is finished or bored. Today he threw his cup and it hit the 10 month old baby mindee, I said no, it's not nice etc etc but he just looks at me, shakes his head for no and with eye contact picks something else up or the same item and throws it again - it's doing my head in - help please, any advice gratefully received.

ive got a 18m mindee who is the same, its like a battle of wills at the moment, he is sooooooooooooo naughty and mischevious, yesterday i found him the playroom standing on the toy garage terrorising the fish by banging a toy on the front of the tank. But he is very funny, i just have to eyes in my backside when he's around, but if i do tell him off (for his own safety) he just glares at me or throws himself on the floor and then goes off and finds something else naughty to do - dh finds him hilarious when he's around in the evening

[merry]

The way we do time out is to remove him to a chair in the hall and sit at his feet facing him holding hands forcing eye contact and talking about his behaviour for up to five minutes. He'll soon get the idea I think.

Seriously for a 16 month old!! I'm sure he'll enjoy the extra attention but I doubt very much whether he'll learn anything from it. When I had a young thrower I managed it by limiting him to soft toys so if one did go flying and hit someone the damage was minimal. As for food and cups I sat with him and very quickly learned the signs that he'd had enough and was about to throw something in time to take things away before he had a chance to throw them, if I misread it and was too late I'd tell him sternly 'we do not throw food/plate/cups/whatever' and a very large plastic mat under the highchair helped me stay calm about the mess I tried to give him plenty of opportunity to throw things in an appropriate way, scrunched up paper balls into a basket, ball games in the garden, beanbags through a hoop. It's very common in young children, they're practising new skills and are not old enough yet to understand why adults aren't as keen on their newly discovered game as they are He grew out of it eventually, and is now 6 and still loves throwing and catching games best.

[QualityCare]

Sorry but it sounds perfectly normal to me and sitting a child that young in time out is not going to help he doesn't understand what he has done and doesn't have the understanding that you don't like it, a simple pick it up and put it on the table / in the box etc with you showing him what you want will help. When he kicks /throws a ball do you tell him its wrong or do you laugh/praise him children this young are confused.

[LauraS]

The way we do time out is to remove him to a chair in the hall and sit at his feet facing him holding hands forcing eye contact and talking about his behaviour for up to five minutes. He'll soon get the idea I think.

Really? I actually find the idea.of.time out for a 16 month old child a bit upsetting.

Kids of.that age throw.things. Hes learning and developing skills, but he's to small to understand complex social rules and concepts like action and consequence that we take for granted.

It will pass, in time, just be watchful when.he is playing, lots.of distraction, praise, nos and uh-ohs and modelling behavior

[mrs robbie williams]

The way we do time out is to remove him to a chair in the hall and sit at his feet facing him holding hands forcing eye contact and talking about his behaviour for up to five minutes. He'll soon get the idea I think.

my lo is way too young for anything like that - also i thought time out was a minute for every year - five minutes for 18m is a long time, do you find it works? not knocking what you do at all just curious xx

[dette]

I say "no dont throw things" with a stern face and a frown then i take LO to what they have thrown and together we pick it up and put it where it belongs,as for plates cups etc,while they are still in that lovely "i'll just pop this over the side" stage i stay with them and say "no no" in a nice voice when they look like they're about to launch something then loads of praise when they put it back down.i wouldnt do time out for it ,its just early maths ,will this drop ,how far can i get it,what sound will it make,how messy will it be ,

[chez]

Trajectory schema, very common and totally normal. http://www.leics.gov.uk/penn_green_schemas.pdf
Schema presentation

Offering activities such as cars and ramps, balls, running around, ball ramps etc. Basicly anything that gives that free flowing fast action.

Please don't tell him off especially not time out he's a baby/ toddler encourage positively his learning, I know how frustrating it can be I have 3 x 1 year olds who have all gone through many of the schemas especially this one together and it can be annoying but it really is learning.

[watgem]

totally agree with Merry and Laura diversion is more appropriate and meeting LO's interests by providing appropriate resources to throw, in the past I've made tissue paper balls covered in socks, foam balls etc and encouraged the LO to throw objects in a bucket/pot giving lots of praise for appropriate throwing, also encouraging my throwers to roll objects, or chase after things or push wheeled objects etc moving activities outdoors often helps and when they are older things like slides, hosepipes to squirt, football etc may support LO's with this trajectory interestxxx

[Tinkerbell1979]

Hi, thank you all for your replies, just to point out it's not me that does time out or tell him off, I just say we don't throw things etc etc, it was the poster a couple after my original post who says they do time out.

Thanks again, I will continue with the same tactics I've been doing

[jadavi]

I don't do time out or naughty chair etc but we withdraw together and talk about it on our hall chair I agree five mins is too long, I just wing it.
If it is as aggravating as the original text suggests then games such as 'throw into this basket' etc isn't enough imo.

[jadavi]

Apologies for using the time out expression - I meant it in the real sense of the word meaning 'time away from the situation' not as a punishment like at school . My children are not isolated either which is part of the disciplining 'time out'
Incidentally every one of my parents use time out as a punishment and one even has him standing in corner with hands on head!

[nikkiv]

I think as pp's have said it is normal I have three little ones all around that age that love to throw anything that they can get their hands on! Then when they've finished eating drinking they throw everything on the floor! I just calmly say oh you've finished, I will pick up food etc but once I've cleaned them up I say come on let's pick your cup up! Or if they're throwing toys I say we mustn't do that we'll break the toys and distract them! We had pieces of sponges I had cut up the other day when we made our sponge cakes when tidying up we through them back into the bowl!

I think its just accepting it is a normal stage but distracting them or saying we shouldn't throw this but look we can throw this!!!!