Potty Training... gone to pot :0(

[Sparkles]

I havent been on here for awhile, but I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me please

I have an LO who is 3 on Monday, and have cared for him since the end of May 2012. When I first took him on, mum said he was toilet trained. She then added, but I let him run around with nothing on and he uses the potty when needed. I told her that when he was with me as I have other children to consider, and we are on outings regularly that I wouldnt be able to do that. I would leave him in his clothing and would train him that way as I believe they need to be able to feel the sensation and then remove clothing in order to go (and give themselves time to do so). We had a few accidents at first, but after a couple of weeks, he was perfect, no accidents at all and always told me when he needed to go (granted, sometimes he needed prompting, but mostly he told me).

I go on holiday for a few weeks and since I have had him back, he had been constantly wetting and messing himself.

I had him back for the first week last week and it was constant, even though I was asking him if he needed the toilet. He would say no, and then a few minutes later, I would notice he was wet, or soiled. I would ask him why he didnt tell me, and he would say... "oh, sorry (my name)", or, "oh, sorry (my name) I was too busy playing"

This week I decided to introduce a reward chart with stickers daily and a certificate and sweets at the end of the week for all his efforts. Whilst I have managed to combat the wee issues (by physically taking him to the toilet and asking him to wee every hour or so), I still cant make way with the soiling issue.

I was preparing dinner today whilst the children were in fancy dress and having free play in the garden. He came into the kitchen to ask me a question and I could smell it. I asked him if he had done a poo, and he said yes I have. I asked him why he didnt tell me he needed to go (at this point i should add that i had sat him on the toilet 10 minutes earlier, before i started preparing the childrens dinner) he said that he had. He hadnt, so I asked him again and he said he was too busy playing.

I then took him into the bathroom to clean him up and he was a mess. I took off his trousers and it was all down his legs and his pants were filled. I had to bath him in order to get him clean. I asked him again why he didnt tell me he needed to go and he just threw his head back and tut'ed at me.

On Wednesday just gone. He soiled himself, and had the same reason as above. I cleaned him and changed him. I then sat him on the toilet for a further 5 minutes to see if he needed to go again. He said he didnt, so I felt satisfied that he didnt need to go again. I took him off and cleaned him up and changed his clothing again. I hadnt even finished flushing the toilet and he tells me he had soiled his pants again.

I'm at a real loss with this. I have tried bribing him with favourite toys, games, costumes etc, but just dont know what to do next.

Parents say he is only doing this with me. Dad has said sit him on the toilet until he goes, mum says he's lazy.

I think they are still letting him run around at home with no clothes on still, as I had to go round this week to collect my money and he was naked then. she says she had just changed his pull up as he didnt make it to the toilet in time, and on tuesday she told me that he had wet himself when nanny was having him. The week prior, she told me that he had sat at the dinner table and wet himself, and when he went on holiday he had messed himself in the pool. Yet, apparently, he only does it when he's with me.

I worked really hard on his toilet training and now it's all but gone, I'm so disappointed about it.

It doesnt really help that when mum collects him, I tell her, and she says, you musnt do that and then gives him a big kiss and cuddle.

I know he is happy with me as he never wants to leave and tells me how much he likes it with me and my family.

He is very babied at home and I wonder if this is something to do with it?

Can anyone give some insight please, I really dont know what to do next.

Thanks
x

[hectors house]

Sorry can't advise anything different to what you are already doing - I also have a 33 month old mindee who does all poos in pants or bedtime nappy. His parents read somewhere to just tip the poo out of pants into potty and then let him help empty it (so called so he can see where it should be done), but he now thinks this is the order it gets done in - poo in pants - tip in potty - tip in toilet and he is a good boy!

I now take him to toilet - clean him up and tell him he should tell me before he poos, so he can do it on toilet. Have been reading potty training books.
His dad said last week just leave him with poo in pants so he feels uncomfortable - great advice when it leaks through trousers onto carpet or sofa!

[Zoomie]

I wonder if he is so constipated that it leaks out and that is why he says he doens't need to the toilet, because he isn't consciously doing / feeling it. I haven't experienced this personally, but have heard about it.

Suggest parent takes him to GP to be checked out.

[Sparkles]

thanks for your replies

How are you supposed to leave them in it? Jeez that it ludicrous. I think some parents forget that this is actually your home as well as a business. How unhygenic is that?!!?

I did mention to her that it my be an idea for him to visit a doctor, but she just sort of said "yeah, she might" didnt fill me with confidence, so I dont think that will happen.