Fly Help!!!

[caz3007]

I have a LO who is 2 and she has suddenly developed a real fear of flys. I think it stems from her older teenage sister. If we are in the garden she is constantly on edge and if a fly comes near her, she is hysterical and asks to go in. If one is in the house she nearly has a fit. Now nothing can be done about the flies as we live on the outskirts of a town with fields and horses close to us.

I have tried talking to her about flies, showing her some in the garden that were attracted to one of the toys, made light of it. Obviously cuddled and comforted when she gets upset, but if we do get a summer its going to be a nightmare.

Never come across this before with any child, but can understand where it comes from, sure she thinks its a wasp, but any ideas on dealing with this before I become hysterical

[miffy]

I have one who is just the same with spiders, indoors or out. That is easier though because at least I can remove them (I don't like them much either but try to be brave! ), you can't do that with flies.

I used to tell those that were frightened of wasps etc that they were looking for their dinner and weren't interested in the children. Hopefully as long as you remain calm she will soon get the message they're not going to hurt her.

Miffy xx

[Bridey]

I've had this before. Just keep very calm and say "Its just a fly". You'll soon find she will start saying that herself, even though she still may act a little scared. Don't tense up when you see one, children pick up on that so easily. It may be worth discussing this strategy with her parents too in case they are unwittingly feeding the hysteria!

[sarahjane]

Personally I wouldn't be cuddling her if she gets upset as that just reinforces that she has something to be upset about. I would just jolly her along with a quick 'oh yes that's a fly now lets go and do this' type thing

[AliceK]

I've had this before. Just keep very calm and say "Its just a fly". You'll soon find she will start saying that herself, even though she still may act a little scared. Don't tense up when you see one, children pick up on that so easily. It may be worth discussing this strategy with her parents too in case they are unwittingly feeding the hysteria!

I agree with this. My nearly 3 yr old mindee was the same. She would really freak out. I just calmly told her "it's just a fly(or whatever it was) it won't hurt you". Over and over and over again. Now she see's one and says to me "it won't hurt me". She was also like this with ANY insect, bug etc. Now she actively looks for ladybirds and slugs in the garden and sits studying them. There is NO WAY she would have done this last summer.

xxxx

[caz3007]

Thanks for the advice, I have been saying its just a fly and its only flying around, but will persevere. Have written in the daily diary that I want to talk to mum next week about strategies, as dad is collecting tonight.

I dont tense up as they dont bother me, but will chat to mum about making light of it at home. I did bring her in today as she was my only child here and she isnt 100% so didnt want to escalate things, but wont in future as like Sarah said she is getting a reaction

[winstonian]

We had this with our daughter when she was 5 but it was invisible flies! INVISIBLE FLIES!!!! at bedtime in her room, I ask you - where in the parenting manual does it warn you about dealing with invisible flies at the end of a long day!!!!

[Cammie Doodle]

We had one like this, but she seems to be getting better, we have been teaching her to say shoo fly and she now swots them away

[sarah707]

If a child is distressed, for whatever reason (real or made up), their heart rate increases and other chemical changes take place in their little bodies.

It makes no difference to me if they are making things up, pretending fear, drawing attention to themselves... whatever.

Yes I will say 'swat it away' or 'let's put incy outside' or 'look at the wonderful slimy trail it's made' or other appropriate platitudes.

However, if a child is distressed I will offer them a hug for as long as they need it

[caz3007]

If a child is distressed, for whatever reason (real or made up), their heart rate increases and other chemical changes take place in their little bodies.

It makes no difference to me if they are making things up, pretending fear, drawing attention to themselves... whatever.

Yes I will say 'swat it away' or 'let's put incy outside' or 'look at the wonderful slimy trail it's made' or other appropriate platitudes.

However, if a child is distressed I will offer them a hug for as long as they need it

I must admit I find it hard not to pick her up and cuddle. I will persevere with the its only a fly, and trying to get her to look at ones that are immobile which she doesnt seem to mind, its just the flying round ones that scare here and scare her they do.

its obviously important to spend time in the garden and up until this all started, she loved being out there, I wont give in to taking her indoors, and will persevere with swatting them away and making light of them