Toilet training a child who is constipated and imo not ready

[smurfette]

Think I have shot myself in the foot! I look after three 2.5 year olds, two girls and a boy. Both girls have been part potty trained (at home nothing to do with me) and since having new siblings in last couple of months have gone back into nappies as mums feel they regressed. The little boy has shown no interest and is behind in speech, is uncoordinated physically (cannot put crocs on even) and is extremely constipated.

I used to have my own baby products business and we used to sell 'my wee friend' potty stickers, (they look black and you put them in base of potty but when the child wees on them a cute face like a sheep or dog or flower appears,, great idea and I found them great with DD3). The other day I was cleaning up and came across a few so I gave one to each of the mums for use when they wanted to potty train later. Mum of the little boy said 'Oh I don't think he is ready', I agreed and said it was for down the road when he was ready just to put away. Well she has mentioned it several times since, and has talked to Dad (they are seperated) and they want to give it a go as the next few weekends they are around. He came this am in big boy pants over his nappy as apparently wanted to wear them and seems very proud of them. I did say to her again this am I didn't think he was ready (he only has a few words and the rest are unclear, he has been assessed for speech therapy but they said to leave it for a while and see how it goes), but she seems to want to give it a go.

My own DD3 had constipation and soiling issues after training and even now at nearly 7 does not go regularly, so I am concerned about this part of it, don't want to make it worse. His diet is terrible, he only eats carbs, yoghurt and raisins. He is better since with me, as I don't take any nonsense, but this is the root of his constipation.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, what should I do?

[Twinkles]

I've had a few mindees with constipation problems. It is so common that they run a 'constipation clinic' at the local paediatric unit.

The consultant there is quite adamant that children should not be potty trained until the constipation problem is sorted.

Two of my mindees problems were due to poor diets at home ; refusing meals and being given chocolate instead !
But others have had very good eating habits but still have the problems.

One little girl we have now eats fruit and veg like it's going out of fashion and drinks plenty of water, she has terrible constipation ! Go figure !

[marnieb]

My dd was badly constipated, but when I potty trained her it got much better. I think it depends on the child, if you feel they are ready for potty training then dont let the constipation put you off.

[shona_rj]

I have a 12 year old nephew who suffers with many of the issues you mention. It took my sister years but he has recently been diagnosed as dyspraxic. She still has 'toilet' issues with him - try having a read up - may help?

[sarah707]

You can't toilet train a constipated child! They will tear the fragile tissue on their bum and be in pain

Child needs the constipation sorting out first and to be going regularly so they know what it feels like to push.

Mum should have been referred to a specialist nurse. If not see if you can find out who covers it in your area and pass the details on.

Hugs xx

[smurfette]

Thanks guys for the opinions, and Shona rj for pointing out about dyspraxia, i do wonder if it is something like that. Will have another chat to mum particularly in relation to the constipation

[teacake2]

I have one who is constipated and is under treatment from the hospital for it and is on medication to try and help him go, he is not toilet trained and Mum in my opinion is in cloud cuckoo land when she says he is, now she is sending him in pants with pull ups over the top so that he gets used to the sensation, before he was in pull ups with pants over the top. Because of his medication when he goes boy does he go, I can literally use half a packet of wipes cleaning him up (can't take him to the bathroom to wash it off because of the others I look after). To me she is playing at getting him out of nappies and won't concentrate on it, she has been off this week and was supposed to be doing it with him, but I know she won't have done and she will be expecting me to do it. I have told her I will work with her but I am not doing it all, and I am not prepared to let him do it all over my floor, it can sometimes be three or four times a day, especially now as I have a crawler.
I am waiting to see what is happening on Monday when he comes back.:Teacake2