My Difficult Mindee - An Update

[essexgirl1967]

I don't know if any of you remember my previous thread? I wrote about my very difficult mindee P and my dilemma over whther to struggle on and hope the situation improved or to terminate the contract. I got loads of good ideas from you all on here which I've been trying to implement but have today made the decision that enough's enough.

I've decided to give her mum 4 weeks notice tomorrow night, mainly because I am absolutely exhausted having to watch her every move. In the last few weeks she has hurt my little boy on numerous occasions ( he now has a discoloured front tooth as a result of a punch in the mouth which also left him with a split lip), and although I am very sympathetic to her mum's explanation of lots of upheaval at home, I just can't carry on.

P is my only full timer so I have been very dependant on her fees to cover most of my earnings but I live next to a school and have had loads of enquiries from parents whose children are starting there in September. I've decided to concentrate on only looking after school aged children rather than under 5's.

When I give the mum notice do I state P's bad behaviour as my reason for giving notice, or simply state that I am no longer offering full time care for under 5's. The other question is that P's mum is very young and her nan has a lot of input in the childcare decisions. Both mum and nan visited in the first place although only the mum signed the contract. Both mum and nan seem to share the picking up of P. If P's nan collects her tomorrow should I give the notice letter to her or do I wait until I next see P's mum?

Sorry its been such a rambling post but my mind is all over the place. I know I'm doing the right thing for the safety of my children and my own stress levels but am worried about the loss of money. Thanks x

[foxy lady]

im sure you have thought long and hard about this and you will feel much better now you have made a disision
hope it goes ok for you
think you will sleep better tonight

[Pipsqueak]

I don't know if any of you remember my previous thread? I wrote about my very difficult mindee P and my dilemma over whther to struggle on and hope the situation improved or to terminate the contract. I got loads of good ideas from you all on here which I've been trying to implement but have today made the decision that enough's enough.

I've decided to give her mum 4 weeks notice tomorrow night, mainly because I am absolutely exhausted having to watch her every move. In the last few weeks she has hurt my little boy on numerous occasions ( he now has a discoloured front tooth as a result of a punch in the mouth which also left him with a split lip), and although I am very sympathetic to her mum's explanation of lots of upheaval at home, I just can't carry on.

P is my only full timer so I have been very dependant on her fees to cover most of my earnings but I live next to a school and have had loads of enquiries from parents whose children are starting there in September. I've decided to concentrate on only looking after school aged children rather than under 5's.

When I give the mum notice do I state P's bad behaviour as my reason for giving notice, or simply state that I am no longer offering full time care for under 5's. The other question is that P's mum is very young and her nan has a lot of input in the childcare decisions. Both mum and nan visited in the first place although only the mum signed the contract. Both mum and nan seem to share the picking up of P. If P's nan collects her tomorrow should I give the notice letter to her or do I wait until I next see P's mum?

Sorry its been such a rambling post but my mind is all over the place. I know I'm doing the right thing for the safety of my children and my own stress levels but am worried about the loss of money. Thanks x

I would get that letter typed today and serve it today. If this child has hurt your son to the point he has a damaged tooth I wouldn't hang about any longer. If nan picks up give her the letter or say its in xxx's bag for Mums attention.

[essexgirl1967]

Have just typed up my notice letter how does this sound:

Dear XXXXX,

I regret that as from Friday 4th July I will no longer be able to offer childminding care for xxxxxx. I have decided to cut down on the amount of hours I work and will therefore only be offering before/ after school and holiday care for children over 5. I realise that this may cause inconvenience but am happy to work with you to help find xxxxx alternative childcare. If you would like to end the contract before the 4th July, just let me know.

Thanks.

Let me know what you all think x

[Blaze]

Have just typed up my notice letter how does this sound:

Dear XXXXX,

I regret that as from Friday 4th July I will no longer be able to offer childminding care for xxxxxx. I have decided to cut down on the amount of hours I work and will therefore only be offering before/ after school and holiday care for children over 5. I realise that this may cause inconvenience but am happy to work with you to help find xxxxx alternative childcare. If you would like to end the contract before the 4th July, just let me know.

Thanks.

Let me know what you all think x

I wouldn't have that bit in...

[Pipsqueak]

I agree with Blaze!

[essexgirl1967]

I felt I had to put that in, as I am quite conspicuous walking home from school with loads of kids in tow so I'm sure the mum will see me around. Thought I needed to explain that I would still be looking after older children, but will take that sentence out if you think it is open to misinterpretation!
Thanks for advice x

[Blaze]

I learnt the hard way to not give too much information...that way if things change & the Mum sees you she is less likely to take umbidge...it's sufficient to say that your just cutting back your workload.

[sarah707]

...it's sufficient to say that your just cutting back your workload.

I agree!

[Tatia]

And I wouldn't offer to help find childcare for her, either. Instead, I'd maybe (at the most) supply her with a list of local childminders and leave it at that. You are not responsible for helping them look and believe me, you don't want that hassle!

[breezy]

And I wouldn't offer to help find childcare for her, either. Instead, I'd maybe (at the most) supply her with a list of local childminders and leave it at that. You are not responsible for helping them look and believe me, you don't want that hassle!

I agree, and another minder might not thank you for helping to pass such an unruly child on!

[chez1373]

Ive just gave notice myself for the first time...
Good luck xx

[angeldelight]

I had to do the same type of letter last year a lot of the girls helped with it ..... I would not explain too much either

I just put that I was cutting down on my work load due to my health ( although I was not but I was ill at the time )

Good luck it sounds like you have been more than patient and well dont for giving it a bash but enough is enough

Once you have passed the letter over to parent you are going to feel so much better and less stressed

Keep us posted

Angel xx

[disney]

just wanted to say that i did the same a couple of months ago gave a mindee up as he just kept on hurting my other mindees and my self . i couldnt turn my back for a sec before he was hitting some one . but i gave a months notice . dont no if i would give a months notice if my own child was being hurt you have to put your own first im sure you are doing the right thing good luck x

[Mollymop]

I just wanted to say good luck, i hope it all runs smoothly and that I think you are doing the right thing. xx

[brillminder]

well done a hard choice when you need the money good luck

[Lottie]

I made a policy whereby if what has happened to you happens to me, I can terminate the contract straight a way, I am sure there is something in the ncma contract with regards to that anyway...but I wanted to emphasise it. Injuring your son is awful, I would just tell her that you can't have the child because of her terrible behaviour.

But that's just me.

[essexgirl1967]

Yet another update!!

I typed up the amended notice letter and got myself all psyched up to give mum the letter at pick up time, but dad ( who has very little contact with P and has never picked up before) turned up instead. He's on the contract as a pick up person so that wasn't the problem but it meant I couldn't hand the letter over to the mum. Decided to ring her and explain my decision. Was absolutely dreading it as mum is a little volatile to say the least, but she was fine, almost as if she was expecting it. Have said I'll do the 4 weeks notice unless she can find someone else who wants to start sooner but she was a bit vague about future plans for her work.

Anyway, now for the good news, have had 2 enquiries since then, one for a school aged boy age 5, just early mornings every day during term time, and one for a 3 year old ( nearly 4) who is starting school in september part time, so I'd have to pick up at 12.30 and have him til 5.30pm. Both sound good and both sets of mums are due round this evening, one at 6pm and one at 7.30pm, so am having a mad clean up of the house so they can at least see the carpet underneath the mountain of toys! Wish me luck!
Thanks x

PS I told my my little boy that some new children were coming round and he's very excited, but nearly broke my heart when he asked if we can make sure they are nice ones who won't hurt him....

[crazybones]

Bless your son. Hope the new mindees work out for you and him.

[emler]

Good luck tonight

Emler x