Disciplining?

[Nature'sKids!]

How do you do it?
Very day things like not wanting to tidy, throwing things, naughty step? etc... Just curious.
Also, do you talk to parents about the way you discipline at the interview?

[blue bear]

I find discipline changes as children get older and so even though I discuss with parents it's the ongoing daily chats that address the way forward with each development mile stone.

It's hard to write exactly what I do really as it just happens and can't think of any behaviour issues over the time I have been minding. Starts with clear consistent boundaries and explanations when a behaviour is not wanted. A bit of space and thinking time sometimes happens for children over 3. Most often a reminder of the boundary and why is all that's needed.

Especially with older children I prefer to discipline quietly and away from the group so they are not embarrassed and feel silly. Also older children respond well to making the rules themselves.

[Pipsqueak]

Lol - me thinks you and me are perhaps going to lock horns over some stuff hun

From the outset I talk to parents about discipline and how I view it. Discipline is about instilling guidance and values and not punishment, its not about 'i'm bigger than you and you will do' however its about teaching the rules of the world, society and life.
therefore I discuss with parents and ask them how they do it and what their boundaries are.

How I do it - I do it with compassion and dignity, I use my voice - the tone, I use my face, I reason and explain - all according to the childs abilities, comprehension

I model and I have high expectations of children

I have rules that children are shown, told, introduce to - such as chairs are for sitting on, the dog is life and therefore needs to be treated nicely... there are consequences for breaking rules or pushing boundaries.... such as time out - which is not a specific spot, I use removal of privilages. I have been known to put a persistant offender who just could not (would not in reality) grasp road safety on a wrist strap at age 8 etc

I am only human and occasionally I may shout when I am very tired, feeling poorly or just having 'one of those days'

However, I admit my mistakes to the children and I explain to them that whilst its not acceptable to shout or grumble at people it happens, its part of life, its our emotions and so on.

[Nature'sKids!]

Lol - me thinks you and me are perhaps going to lock horns over some stuff hun
.

Nah were like long lost identical twins :P

[chibault]

I use the book,'between parent and child' by Dr Ginott. It's a wonderful book, very compassionate, still allows you to be strict though. For example, I say, 'when the toys are tidied away, we will go to the park' then I just sit and repeat if necessary, then once they are tidying I help guide the toys back to where they belong. The kids fave is,'when the plates are cleared from the table, dessert will arrive.' I also use Montessori peace table to sort out disagreements over toys grabbed, etc. They calm down first, then sit at the table discuss what happened and what they think should now happen. Once apologies have been given, they both ring a hand bell. The bell is brilliant for literally clearing the air, the kids love it. For much younger children, I speak for them if they can't talk...

[Playmate]

Lol - me thinks you and me are perhaps going to lock horns over some stuff hun

From the outset I talk to parents about discipline and how I view it. Discipline is about instilling guidance and values and not punishment, its not about 'i'm bigger than you and you will do' however its about teaching the rules of the world, society and life.
therefore I discuss with parents and ask them how they do it and what their boundaries are.

How I do it - I do it with compassion and dignity, I use my voice - the tone, I use my face, I reason and explain - all according to the childs abilities, comprehension

I model and I have high expectations of children

I have rules that children are shown, told, introduce to - such as chairs are for sitting on, the dog is life and therefore needs to be treated nicely... there are consequences for breaking rules or pushing boundaries.... such as time out - which is not a specific spot, I use removal of privilages. I have been known to put a persistant offender who just could not (would not in reality) grasp road safety on a wrist strap at age 8 etc

I am only human and occasionally I may shout when I am very tired, feeling poorly or just having 'one of those days'

However, I admit my mistakes to the children and I explain to them that whilst its not acceptable to shout or grumble at people it happens, its part of life, its our emotions and so on.

Couldn't have put it better myself

[mushpea]

I do talk to parents about it at interviews as I feel it can be an important part of growing up,, there are rules all through life and we have to learn to adhere to them.
a lot depends on their age and understanding.
if they dont want to tidy up then they dont play with anything else untill they have tidyed and if we are about to go out then depending on their age and understanding the pile of toys will be there when they get back to tidy up.
If children throw somthing then they dont get it back to play with,
if they hurt another child they get removed for a couple of minutes then appologise before playing again.
if they run in the house then I ask them to either slow down or go outside and run around.
to be honest it depends what they have done as to how I deal with it.

[Pipsqueak]

Couldn't have put it better myself

did I forget to mention the dark cramped cupboard under the stairs , cattle prod and duct tape.....

kidding

honestly just kidding

[jayjay1963]

did I forget to mention the dark cramped cupboard under the stairs , cattle prod and duct tape.....

kidding

honestly just kidding

Someone after my own heart and don't forget the strait jackets lol

Jacqui

[Playmate]

Now, now ladies behave

[sweets]

i just use 'the look'

[Babycat]

A few things already said, clear rules, goals and boundaries.

i use phrases like "i would prefer it if you didnt do.." because even unwanted behaviour is a choice i explain why its not acceptable

i have done time outs but its wherever they are and its to think about actions then discusion time

ive never had mindees so i dont know how much of this may change if any

[marnieb]

did I forget to mention the dark cramped cupboard under the stairs , cattle prod and duct tape.....

kidding

honestly just kidding

yep, every morning I ask mindee E if he has his torch for the cupboard...!!!

But yes, I agree it's more of an ongoing thing, keep the mindees in line so they shouldn't (but they sometimes do!) cross over it!!! If it's ingrained in them, so to speak, then I find that I don't really tell them off, they just know they have to behave when here.

And it works, at group on Thurs ex-mindee A goes with her mum now, she started running around and I just gave her 'the look' and quietly said 'it's time to sit down for singing', and off she went and sat down like a little angel, while mum looked on gobsmacked..!!!!

[Narnia34]

did I forget to mention the dark cramped cupboard under the stairs , cattle prod and duct tape.....

kidding

honestly just kidding

My son still tells people that I used to hang him upside down in a dark cupboard and let spiders lick his face! I used to use this one if he was having a paddy, because it would make him giggle and snap out of it long enough to be able to find out what the problem was!

I discuss with parents what their boundaries are at home and what mine are here and I gently but firmly apply them. I look after littlies right now, so the boundaries are simple things like tidying up and not snatching your sister's toy. I try and achieve this through modelling these behaviours and giving heaps of praise every time the girls 'do the right thing' and trying to ignore unwanted behaviours. Seems to be working fairly well at the moment.

[QualityCare]

I have a policy on behaviour, l go over it with parents they read it at home they sign to say they have read, understand and agree to my policies. I agree with pipsqueak, its about guidance and how you talk to and ask the children to do things.

[The Juggler]

i have a quite long behaviour policy outlining my ethos on respect, manners and care for others.

it goes into quite a lot of detail on positive management and why I do it (in the hope that reading it will inform parents less inclined to positive behaviour management) and why I don't smack, shame etc.

It outlines what I do at different ages and stages and what would happen if myself and parents could not resolve behaviour issues posing a threat to me or other children (i.e. biting or aggressive behaviour).

All parents are invited to discuss any issues they have with my methods before signing a contract and if they do not then they are deemed to have accepted my methods and working in partnership with me on them.

If we discuss anything beforehand we reach a compromise on methods that will work for both of us and this will be noted in the child's file. Its never happened yet though.

[VeggieSausage]

I have a group of differing ages that stay for tea and yesterday, well the behaviour was terrible. They were all at the table doing playdough before tea, I went to the door to see a LO off with his mum - when I came back to the table they were all throwing the cutters and playdough into the kitchen and laughing _ I made them pick it all up etc. They are encouraging one of the little ones to do naughty things and laughing so he does it over and over like throwing toys around the living room. A new after schoolie seems to have changed the dynamic totally - it was the first week with everyone and am glad I don't have them today. If I turn my back for a moment they were jumping on sofas, shouting, and the older one is cheeky. Ideas please while on the subject of discipline - thanks x

[sfox2003]

My son still tells people that I used to hang him upside down in a dark cupboard and let spiders lick his face!

BRILLIANT Absolutley brilliant - I have to use this one on my own kids next time!!!!

Its certainly made me laugh out loud anyway