Honest advice please

**Malark** · 31-03-2010, 08:44 AM

Hi, you may have read my thread yesterday about poorly lo who took 3 hours to be collected after i had called mum to collect.( LO is back today and not as bad as yesterday) Well i am in such a state about continuing to care for the mindees. Brief background, mum got her first job last week after having 2 half year old and needed quick arrangements to be made. Had 2 meetings with kids and signed temp contract for this week. Had lots of probs getting simple things such as emergency contacts, this weeks hours etc from mum. Mum never contacted me when she said she would with details i needed and i had to chase her for everything. Mum text me at pickup time on Monday asking me to drop kids off as she was wet from the rain. (also have 6 year old before and after school) Am still not sure when having kids next week as she says not got shifts from work yet. Still cannot sign proper contract cause don't know what hours.LO started with me monday when she was poorly, chocca with cold and cough whice resulted in the nightmare yesterday. My own 8 mth old daughter is now poorly after catching cold and feel so down with it all. I don't know where i am with it all and my heart sinks every morning with the thought of the day ahead. It is really putting me off and if this week has been an indication of things to come I just can't put myself through it. I just don't trust the family to be reliable. Can't believe my minding career is starting like this. I want to tell mum i will honour temp contract for this week but no more. I feel harsh on the kids but surely its better now when they havent bonded with me than later on. I need to put me and my family first. Am i being harsh???

**Mookins** · 31-03-2010, 08:47 AM

im only a newbie and have no experience yet but if its all trouble now chances are it will be all the way through...trust your gut instinct hunny

x x x

**AliceK** · 31-03-2010, 08:49 AM

I think that is exactly what you need to do. It has started off very badly and personally I would be thinking it will turn out to be more hassle than it's worth. That's just my personal view but then again I don't suffer fools gladly and won't take any cr** from anyone. I'm very strict me

xxxxxx

**Kes** · 31-03-2010, 08:50 AM

No your not being harsh you need to put yourself and your family first if its not working don't take them on.

**RedDragon** · 31-03-2010, 08:51 AM

Why don't you grab mum - sit her down and say you can't continue working like you do. Tell her this is the way you work (no ill children). Tell her that you are legally boun to have contact details. Tell her she is stressing you out unneccessarily with her actions and that you are near to cancelling before you really start.

**Malark** · 31-03-2010, 08:52 AM

I did tell her yesterday and what she told me i just dont get the impression it will get any better.

**RedDragon** · 31-03-2010, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by Malark

I did tell her yesterday and what she told me i just dont get the impression it will get any better.

Then if you can afford it perhaps it's best to cancel.

I've looked back a few times and thought "Why on earth did I put up with that behavioue from parents".

**Mouse** · 31-03-2010, 08:58 AM

I haven't read you other post, so hope I'm not just reposting what anyone else has already said.

I would be fair, but firm.

I would contact the mum & say that she has got to make time to see you as things are not working properly. If she can't do that, tell her you will have no choice but to terminate the arrangement as she doesn't seem to understand how your business works, ie. you cannot drop children home when she asks, you have to know her hours in advance, payment must be made in advance, you have to have a contract signed (you could do this even without knowing the exact hours, as all other conditions will apply).

If she agrees to meet you, great, hammer out the details & make sure she understands & accepts everything. It could be that she just doesn't understand how a childminder works & will change her ways once it's explained to her.

If she doesn't meet with you, or doesn't agree with what you're saying, then tell her you're sorry, but you can no longer offer care for the children.

Parent will only walk all over you if you let them, so don't!

**mama2three** · 31-03-2010, 09:01 AM

is this the mum who you made cry or am i mixing this up? if so , then you might find that it has done the trick! I have a mum who is just scatty - i had to chase her all the time for paperwork , remind her to pay me , her timekeeping is well , lax ! It has become one of my favourite families though now weve got over the teething pains!
sounds like this mum is all in a fluster with going back to work and is just all over the place. maybe give her a couple of weeks and then think again , see if she has sorted herself out. You could even warn her that if things dont improve you will not continue after this time...
hope it goes better for you today .......x

**Malark** · 31-03-2010, 09:10 AM

HI, no she got upset yesterday when i told her it was not acceptable to leave her child here for 3.5 hours poorly when i asked her to come and collect. I am still waiting for payment, she did not mention that she couldn't pay me until she sorted benefits when she signed on sunday. It's just one thing after another and i think i've just reached the point of no return.

**green puppy** · 31-03-2010, 10:27 AM

Perhaps you have already decided that ending the contract would be best, once you begin to feel like this it can be difficult to move forward. In order to meet the children's needs you also need a good working partnership with parents which already you don't seem to have. Do you have a temp contract signed? If not you are not insured, I would go with your gut instinct so that you can enjoy childminding and not dread each day. Good luck.

**wendywu** · 31-03-2010, 10:55 AM

[

QUOTE=Malark;678374]HI, no she got upset yesterday when i told her it was not acceptable to leave her child here for 3.5 hours poorly when i asked her to come and collect. I am still waiting for payment, she did not mention that she couldn't pay me until she sorted benefits when she signed on sunday. It's just one thing after another and i think i've just reached the point of no return.

[/QUOTE]

If you have not been getting paid and have no proper contract then i would cut my losses NOW. Never work with no pay, always always get money in advance.

**Mouse** · 31-03-2010, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by Malark

HI, no she got upset yesterday when i told her it was not acceptable to leave her child here for 3.5 hours poorly when i asked her to come and collect. I am still waiting for payment, she did not mention that she couldn't pay me until she sorted benefits when she signed on sunday. It's just one thing after another and i think i've just reached the point of no return.

I didn't realise you hadn't been paid.

In that case, I would definitely consider cutting your losses while you can. If she's waiting for benefits, it could take a long time & she could run up a massive bill.

I never take children on unless I have paid in advance. It's just not worth the trouble trying to get your money afterwards.

**Ripeberry** · 31-03-2010, 11:16 AM

Don't work for nothing, sounds like she could just cut and run herself

Some people's lives are so chaotic, I just don't know how they get through the day, let alone their kids.
If she does offer to pay and does, then maybe have a maximum settling in period of 28days (use short-term contract) and get it all paid for in advance.
If it all goes wrong then at least you got paid for the work and you can get out of the contract.
Hope you find some less 'scatty' parents next time

**helenlc** · 31-03-2010, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by Ripeberry

Don't work for nothing, sounds like she could just cut and run herself

Some people's lives are so chaotic, I just don't know how they get through the day, let alone their kids.
If she does offer to pay and does, then maybe have a maximum settling in period of 28days (use short-term contract) and get it all paid for in advance.
If it all goes wrong then at least you got paid for the work and you can get out of the contract.
Hope you find some less 'scatty' parents next time

I would ask her if she is able to borrow some money off someone to pay you for say 4 weeks work, use a temporary contract and then cut your losses if it doesnt work out.

She may just be in a tizz at having gone back to work and had a quick start. But then again she may be flighty anyway.

Or worse, she may just be inconsiderate and out to walk all over you. You need to start strong and stay strong.

**Malark** · 31-03-2010, 12:05 PM

hi, yes i have a temp contract signed which covers until tomorrow. She said money has been arranged through job centre and should get it thurs or tues. someone else ive spoken to said it can take ages to get money through

**Tatjana** · 31-03-2010, 01:17 PM

I would say get rid, I had ones similar to this, payment always late, turning up late, no show and not bothering to tell me, absolutley no communication....or interest in their childs day...they have now left owing me 3 weeks money, which i'm currently chasing.

If this is how they start off things will not get better.

xx

**The Juggler** · 31-03-2010, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by RedDragon

Why don't you grab mum - sit her down and say you can't continue working like you do. Tell her this is the way you work (no ill children). Tell her that you are legally boun to have contact details. Tell her she is stressing you out unneccessarily with her actions and that you are near to cancelling before you really start.

absolutely and the emergency contacts or the primary carer are supposed to be able to pick up within 2 hours!

**little_gems** · 31-03-2010, 01:18 PM

sorry to be the bearer of bed news but i had a parent paying through job center they started in november and it took till january to get paid!! mums said she wished she'd never bothered with job center. it was only for 2 weeks that she wanted job center to pay until tax credits came through

**AliceK** · 31-03-2010, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Malark

hi, yes i have a temp contract signed which covers until tomorrow. She said money has been arranged through job centre and should get it thurs or tues. someone else ive spoken to said it can take ages to get money through

It is not your problem where the money comes from if she wants childcare then she will have to find it. I would never work without payment upfront. My youngest mindees parents pay weekly and are sometime a day or 2 late but I know they are good for it even though I once told them I would drive over to them to get my money. My other young one pays weekly without any bother and sometimes pays for 2 weeks at once and my eldest mindee pays monthly, again without any bother. I've heard too many horror stories to agree to anything other than payment in advance. I know it's hard when you go back to work to find the money but I've had to do it in the past with my old childminder and I expect others to have to do the same.

I really hope you get your money

xxxxx