Toilet Training not going well

[Amyathome]

On Another topic -I have a nearly 3 year old boy who comes to me once a week. Just for some context this is a very clingy little boy who has always had trouble being away from his mum.
His mum toilet trained him over the summer and has sent him in pants ever since which must be 6-8 weeks now. He never tells me he needs the toilet or just says wee as he is doing it on my carpet. The only way round this is to take him every 45 minutes which is not always practical. If we go out he wees in shops etc and doesn't seem bothered by it. To be honest i've seen no progress in all this time and my carpets are getting smelly. Mum doesn't want to put him back in nappies or pull ups as she doesn't want to confuse him but I have two other children when I have him one of which is only one so really not very hygeinic. Any advice please as at the end of my tether.

Thanks everyone

Amy

[blue bear]

I'm afraid if he is not asking then he would go back into nappy pants over his normal pants. You have given it a good go but he is obviously not ready/confident enough to ask at yours.
Has mum said what happens at home, does he ask, how reliable is he, does mum do all the work with timing it right.
Dig out your potty training policy or write one stating what you are willing to do.

[Amyathome]

Thank You

Yes I have a toilet training policy I think I will be giving mum a copy next week as not fair on me or other children. He's just not confident at all and used to scream when mum left for hours on end so this is a big challenge.

Thank you for your reply

[lilac_dragon]

Hi, I also have a lo with toileting problems.
40 months old now, was dry for 4 months then suddenly 4 months ago started weeing and pooing but not saying anything, just carrying on playing. I'd realise there was a smell, and ask her if she needed the toilet, she'd say No. Having given her a chance, i'd say " come on, let's go and try anyway". Take her, "Oh dear, never mind, just a little accident, in the toilet/potty next time" clean and change her and then back to play - and then track down the wet bit of carpet/floor and clean it. We're now 5 months down the line, and there's no improvement, she doesn't even suddenly run to the loo at the last minute, there's no hint of trying. Sometimes 5 or 6 times a day, so it seems that all I do is clean her and the floor, and not actually achieve any other work with the other children. Now have a crawler, so toy boxes are put over the wet spots to stop him getting wet/smelly and i carpet shampoo and try to get it dry overnight.Wee's in shops, library, toddlers etc. getting difficult to go anywhere.She's been checked for UTI etc, notyhing, has a hospital app in Nov, but that seems so far away. tried, bribery (Mum's idea,) charts too, she has no concerns unless she's sore, which is now quite often, we tell her she's sore because she's not using the toilet and she agrees, but doesn't change. Started Nursery part time now and they have the same problems. Any advice gratefully accepted!

[lin maddox]

Toilet issues is so hard as some children just don't care! my son as had accidents since we started he's 8 now! we go to hospital every 6 months for what good it does....he tends to dribble and not even feel it. It's a learnt behaviour or so i'm told, they get used to the feeling it don't bother them. I feel books and discussions about the subject helped my son a little, we went together on the hour to the loo. Iv just got registered and thankfully i have wood flooring but i would not be happy with toddlers weeing on my carpet and i wouldn't expect anyone to put up with that from my son...i would ask the parent if they would consider using the dry like me liners you can pop two or three in at once, help protect your carpets. I wish i had put my son back into nappys i no they say going back wards isn't the way to go, but if a child isn't ready it can do more harm then good. I would ask to consider pull ups but still taking her to loo? some children are just not ready till 4. all the hassel and upset and embarrassment mainly me! child picks up on this stress which won't help them. good luck.

[winstonian]

I suggest a pull up over pants. This still means they get the wet sensation so shouldnt confuse them but it will save your carpets.