Crying Baba - Help!

**Lainey Lou** · 08-12-2009, 10:58 AM

Hello there, I need some advice on how you would deal with a baby that cries all the time. Basically, she is 8 months old, gorgeous little thing, v smiley and happy etc BUT only when she has my full attention.

If I am holding her or I am sat with her giving her my attention, she is fine, the minute I move away from her she just cries and cries and won't stop until she is picked up. I try leaving different toys with her to amuse her but it doesn't make any difference.

I have only been minding her for 2 months (2 days a week) and she has always been the same. It also has a negative effect on the other mindees and I feel that I am giving the baby most of my attention and the others are missing out.

Ive spoke to mum and she says she is the same at home and that she is to blame as she picks her up all the time.

I really don't know what to do, when I have to I just leave her to cry and don't rush to pick her up but she gets herself into such a state that sometimes its just easier to give in.

Do you think it may be a phase she is going through (hope so!), I'm sure many of you have experienced the same thing. What would you suggest? Any advice would be v much appreciated! XX

**EileenB** · 08-12-2009, 11:46 AM

My daughter is 11 months and only just coming out of a really clingy stage - exactly the same as you're describing. I found she came out of it herself after a couple of months - it's very demanding but it does seem that a lot of babies go through a clingy stage around this age. I don't know if there's much you can do except wait it out.
The other way you could get round it is to get a sling or Moby wrap, so you can wear her during the day so she feels close to you, but it leaves your hands free for other children and tasks.

**little chickee** · 08-12-2009, 12:10 PM

This is very common at this age and most cm will have had similar experiences ( check back on the forum). I have had a couple of mindees like this and i deal with it by NOT picking up the child.

I don't do slings or wraps or carrying about as i find that this just prolongs the clingy stage.

I really just will sit next to the child chatting away and playing with the toys and act as if the child is not crying. I leave the room for very short times - less than 30 seconds to start with and then come back so they begin to realise that even if i leave i do soon come back.

In my experience the child even if quite young soon learns that crying does not get them picked up so they soon adjust.

Usually you find that at home the child "gets their own way" and does get picked up all the time but children can quickly learn that there are different rules for different peaople and places and that what happens at home will not nessecarily happen at my house.

**LittleAcorns** · 08-12-2009, 12:43 PM

Definately a phase they go through, my daughter did this solid for 3 months (drove me crackers) i found once she was mobile sh was much better

it wont last too much longer Im sure, I would recommend giving her the same attention whether shes crying or not, try to resist picking her up, but do talk to her and reassure her that youre still there

I look after twins who are 6 months and they both love to be held, one in particular cries frantically when she's put down, shes always been like that, but again if you pick her up she grins from ear to ear so Im doing the same and just talking, singing (in a fashion) to her, we'll get there

**youarewhatyoueat** · 08-12-2009, 01:23 PM

I do the same as above but find it better if the baby is in a buggy above the other children, they can still join in but feel more safe and secure in a buggy, then gently introduce them to more activities with other children.
I didn't strap them in all day!!!! but I did use it for short sessions, I left them in it sat with us at toddler groups for the first half hour, and for story time, so the other children sat round but the baby was in the buggy. It worked really well and meant we could all get on without tears. She would sit with us when doing art activities in the kitchen etc.

**venus89** · 08-12-2009, 02:50 PM

My 18 month old mindee went through this - it drove me nuts! A lot of it is due to separation anxiety. It will pass. Until then I suggest you give other mindees loads of attention when she's asleep and as much as possible when she's awake and do floor things etc where she's involved but so are the others. We have lots of chunky cars etc out at the moment as my 7 month old mindee is just beginning to get clingy... Good luck!

**Blaze** · 08-12-2009, 03:50 PM

I have to admit it does depend on the child as to how I deal with it - but in general I use a sling & in other situations the buggy if the child is comfortable with this. I also try & support the child by getting them used to me being next to them - then moving a way a bit - & so on - peek a boo games are great for this. HTH

**The Juggler** · 08-12-2009, 06:49 PM

I spent lots of time on the floor, playing, sit her on my lap whilst she played, then moved her to sitting beside me, lots of cuddles then gradually she would move off away from me. This way I was not constantly holding her and carrying her but she had cuddles and knew I wasn't going to abandon her! It continued for a few months, if I moved from her, but I would talk to her constantly, try to ignore the crying and tell her where I was going and get her to come with me crawling, just had to keep stopping and waiting so she could catch up. She would follow crying but then sit and watch me wherever I was.