Am i being paranoid?? Just need a rant!!

**greanan** · 06-02-2013, 11:09 PM

Sick of being walked over - have ha mindee since she was 6 weeks old and is now nearly 3, had siblings before so know the family well and have always got on great with them but since Xmas I'm getting more and more annoyed with the parents. Mindee is constantly ill and mum has never once taken a day off work, doesn't tell me only when mindee says she's had medicine or older sister says she been up sick through night etc etc!! Had them extra days after new year plus older siblings and money wasnt put into account (didnt pay half fees through the two weeks holiday either and I'll never see that!!),, anyway, text mum about the few days after new year and he said she had no extra money to pay it, (would still be getting tax credits and didnt pay a penny for 2weeks she was off!!) still not seen it and really doubt I will. She's always asking to pick mindee up an hour late 3 days out of 4, to which I've never said no, even though She doesn't pay for any extra time. I babysit 2evenings a week free of charge and have them lots overnight while ages away with work - again no extra charge. My own fault really! Anyway, had arranged to go on a boat trip with mindee and one of my other mindees and his mum tomorrow. No problems. Had text tonight from mum asking if toddlers is on tomorrow to which I replied yes, but as other lo was off we were going on a trip with him and his mum (who she knows!!) as a wee treat and something different as we always go to toddlers. She then replies saying she isn't questioning me just asking if toddlers is on. Anyway after a few heated texts (which I now feel guilty about!!) she's not letting mindee go on boat trip as says she doesn't want her going without her. Fair enough, but she'd already agreed, am I being paranoid that she now doesn't trust me?? Feeling so down about it, we used to be great pals but since Xmas we hardly speak.

**LauraS** · 06-02-2013, 11:39 PM

I think you need to get tough. But you already know that, right?

Child sick - Child stays home.
No payment in advance - No care.
No freebies.

People will treat you as you allow them to. Some people in life are just take, take take. They have an inflated sense of their own importance and entitlement and don't care who they trample on.

Add up the chargeable cost of the number of extra hours you do.for the family, the night's and babysitting, the late collections and the money for Christmas and having siblings over the new year which you appear resigned to losing. How much extra work have you done for.this family, in money terms? Now ask yourself if you would take your chequebook and.write mum a cheque.for.this amount every month, as that is effectively what you are doing. Are the family destitute, struggling to feed, clothe and.house themselves? Somehow I doubt it.

Favours are great once in a while.as part of.the give and take, but you are way.beyond that.

**greanan** · 07-02-2013, 12:03 AM

Thank you so much for your reply. I know I need to get tough, suppose I'm just not sure how to go about it. They were my first family I had on my books which I think has a lots to do with it. Just needed a rant as I'm feeling really down and upset about it tonight which is def not like me lol!!

**TAZ** · 07-02-2013, 12:03 AM

Sounds like it's time for a sit down & chat with Mum. Work out what you are prepared to do 'as a favour/friend' and what is your business & needs to be respected & paid for. Go back to your contracts, what did you initially agree? Maybe you need to complete a new contract & take account of the extra hour each afternoon that you are regularly doing. Clarify your payments regarding holidays.

Sending texts is a great way to send accross a quick bit of info but looses a lot of meaning & emotion, things can so easily be misunderstood. Face to face is important, if there is a problem you need to know. Chances are though, she can't afford to loose you! No one else will be as accomodating as you have been!!!!!

**greanan** · 07-02-2013, 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by TAZ

Sounds like it's time for a sit down & chat with Mum. Work out what you are prepared to do 'as a favour/friend' and what is your business & needs to be respected & paid for. Go back to your contracts, what did you initially agree? Maybe you need to complete a new contract & take account of the extra hour each afternoon that you are regularly doing. Clarify your payments regarding holidays.

Sending texts is a great way to send accross a quick bit of info but looses a lot of meaning & emotion, things can so easily be misunderstood. Face to face is important, if there is a problem you need to know. Chances are though, she can't afford to loose you! No one else will be as accomodating as you have been!!!!!

Thank you , def agree. I've been too accommodating and def paying for it now !!