Toughened up but still scared by one!!

**maryp0ppins** · 24-10-2010, 07:17 PM

Why oh why am i feeling afraid to tell one mum if she needs her spot saving she must pay a retainer.....

The reason being she is one of my sisters close friends....

I look after er 3.6yr old & love him to bits had him since he was 7 month, I was due his sibling on 1st Nov.....BUT she has no job yet & told me last week he may not be coming now till after Xmas.

I gave notice to a flexi baby which finished at the beginning of Oct ready for new sibling coming(so no money coming in from that)

I also took a temp contract on & informed them I only had space till Nov (it was term time only) so that finished last week (so no money coming in from that)

I have no contract for new baby yet as mum is job seeking ...... but this leaves me in limbo......

Should i ask for a half price retainer until she gets a job (knowing she has no job)

I feel pathetic!!!

**miffy** · 24-10-2010, 07:22 PM

This is why it's so difficult minding for family and friends - if it had been anyone else you'd have told it like it is - you're turning away work and they either pay a retainer or risk the place not being available when they want it.

I think you need to put your business head on here and decide if you want to keep being messed around like this.

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh but I can see this keep happening as mum has no job at the moment.

Miffy xx

**maryp0ppins** · 24-10-2010, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by miffy

This is why it's so difficult minding for family and friends - if it had been anyone else you'd have told it like it is - you're turning away work and they either pay a retainer or risk the place not being available when they want it.

I think you need to put your business head on here and decide if you want to keep being messed around like this.

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh but I can see this keep happening as mum has no job at the moment.

Miffy xx

Please don't be sorry, your only saying what my DH has been saying for the last week.......

Your right also saying if it was Jo blogs off the street the contract would be signed sealed & a retainer up & running...

Feel like a flippin school kid though when it comes to this mum...she is great but is also VERY funny when she wants to be (not funny ha ha either)

DH keeps reminding me that she needs me MORE than I need her!!!

stressing big time X

**Mouse** · 24-10-2010, 07:35 PM

I have a similar situation with one of my mums. She had a baby a short while ago and will "probably" return to work in May next year. She couldn't afford a retainer for me to keep a place for the baby, so I have taken on someone else.
When she makes up her mind what she is doing I will apply for a variation for the baby to come here. I'm hopeful it would be approved as I will have had the older child here for 2 years by then, but mum knows she is running the risk that I may not get a variation, so couldn't take on the baby.

You could say something similar to your mum. Explain that you can't afford to keep turning work away on the off chance that she may need you at sometime in the future, so will be looking to take on someone else. If it turns out she does need you at some time you will apply for a variation, but there's no guarantee you'll get it.

You'd be meeting her half way then. She wouldn't have to pay a retainer, but you wouldn't be losing out on work. Of course, this is assuming you'd want to have an extra child on a variation.

**Ripeberry** · 24-10-2010, 07:43 PM

I'm getting into a situation like this. Current mindee is 2yrs old and has a baby brother born last July and mum said she will take 12 months maternity.
But in the meantime another mum wants me to hold a space for a then 9 month old in September 2011.
I'm going to ask her for a deposit, depending on what hours/days she needs as by then mindee's brother will be over 12 months old and on certain days I will be full for my under 5yr olds

**maryp0ppins** · 24-10-2010, 07:45 PM

I applied for a variation to have this baby.... as I have a new 8 month old starting 8th Nov also (signed sealed & paid a whole months full fee advanced....ya see nice & easy when they're Jo blogs off the street

)

I have to speak mum tomorrow as I am potentially loosing £90 per week as from next week which at this time of year really cannot afford!!

**mama2three** · 25-10-2010, 06:21 AM

just blame ofsted then! tell her unless there is a working contract in place then the variation approval from ofsted becomes invalid , and you are unlikely to be granted another. Tell her you'd hate for her to miss out ..as if youre doing her a favour!

**maryp0ppins** · 31-10-2010, 01:52 PM

Well put it off all week & finally called mum Friday morning & told her as she promised me that lo would be starting 1st November I'd have to start charging her a half price retainer to keep his spot for the days she is wanting his spot for.....

She was NOT happy & went on to say if she has no money coming in how can she pay me?!?

My answer...If I have no money coming in also how can I feed my kids & if she was really that unhappy with paying a retainer WHICH she would have to do anywhere else then don't pay me but I will be in contact with this other family as Xmas is fast approaching.....

SHE HAD BIG UMP!!!!!!said she needed to think about it & discuss with hub...

her hubby works full time & I KNOW what his wadges are as he has told me himself so I do know they wont be eating beans on toast that's for sure..

anyway she text me back (which I hate that when it comes to business) & said she wasn't happy but felt she had NO choice but to pay it........

Now this is the funny part I know she has been discussing it with other people (her friends i.e my sisters friends also) as my sister mentioned it to me....& my sister said everyone told her they thought I was right & she should pay to hold his spot

**Blaze** · 31-10-2010, 02:11 PM

**PixiePetal** · 31-10-2010, 03:29 PM

Result

**The Juggler** · 01-11-2010, 07:27 AM

It's hard with maternity it's such a long time for a retainer but for next time, I would get a contract written for the expected start date and take at least a month's deposit (non refundable) from the mum. That way she will be less likely to delay in these situations if they are just delaying or in this case where she has no job you would at least have some compensation or she would have told you the case BEFORE you finished your temp contracts.

sorry to hear this though