Anyone else get a backlash from their own kids

**uf353432** · 15-06-2009, 03:15 PM

when you started minding?

I have 2 girls my oldest is coming up to 4 - and is in preschool 5 mornings a week. Recently she has turned into a spoilt little diva and frankly if I could get her adopted by a couple in a 3rd world country for a spell so she could see quite how lucky she is I would! Seriously she is 3 going on 13! There were signs of this prior to minding - but its gotten worse and I wonder if anyone knows if its a phase that will pass - or if I have produced a spoilt little brat - clearly if its the latter I will leave her out for the bin men tommorrow as its just getting on my nerves now!! lol

any advice?

amirose · 15-06-2009, 03:25 PM

No ... but your post made me laugh

Lol sorry hun

**grindal** · 15-06-2009, 03:33 PM

Hi
You have my sympathy. Mine are not quite so bad, but in their own way have both struggled to accept me spending time and attention on another child. DS1 is 3, and is use to DS2 getting some attention, but when he wants something we all know about it. he had an enormous hissy fit in the middle of town the other day, crying and wailing......because it was wednesday

. DS2 has also become a bit hitty since I started minding. This is the same reaction DS1 had when DS2 was born. I did not tolerate it. I sat him on the step in the hall each and every time he hit me and am doing the same with DS2

I suppose it is hard for them, and it is their way of showing how much they love us - just keep being firm, strong and consistent - I'm sure she will get over it - am hoping my 2 do anyway

Good Luck

**tinkerbelle** · 15-06-2009, 03:46 PM

my oldest AKA kevin (from kevin and perry) is 10 going on 30 he thinks he can do as he pleases and i cant stop him (thats what he thinks lol) that being the reason he is going to bed tonight at 6 pm and his brothers will be going later (being mouthy this morning)

**Hebs** · 15-06-2009, 03:51 PM

ha ha ha tinkerbelle i call my son Kevin cos he's so moody at times

my daughter is 13 this year............. enough said lol

they actually love me childminding and being at home

**FizzysFriends** · 15-06-2009, 03:55 PM

My DD went through that phase, didn't last very long though, once I pointed out the link between lots of children being in the house and sharing me, and all the extra toys/resourses available!!

I have a problem with a mindee not wanting to share me at the moment

Pipsqueak · 15-06-2009, 03:56 PM

I have a Kevin (rob) and a Perry (Harry). Rob is going through puberty

and apparently that is his excuse for everything!

Harrys - 'ello Mrs Patterson' (aka Mum) and ambling off is just Harry. I would quite happily sell Harry at times but I would be done under the trades description act for miselling him
a) as a child
b) knowingly selling faulty goods

**The Juggler** · 15-06-2009, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by uf353432

when you started minding?

I have 2 girls my oldest is coming up to 4 - and is in preschool 5 mornings a week. Recently she has turned into a spoilt little diva and frankly if I could get her adopted by a couple in a 3rd world country for a spell so she could see quite how lucky she is I would! Seriously she is 3 going on 13! There were signs of this prior to minding - but its gotten worse and I wonder if anyone knows if its a phase that will pass - or if I have produced a spoilt little brat - clearly if its the latter I will leave her out for the bin men tommorrow as its just getting on my nerves now!! lol

any advice?

ditto. I was minding when she was 2 1/2 and was like this before. Now she is 7 but still a mare to get out of the house in the morning and she wails and screams at me all the time. It's exhausting to stay calm and speak to her calmly. More work than 7 mindees- honestly I have done it when she's been at the grandparents and it was a breeze. However, gorgeous and lovely she is and hilarious so it makes up for the exhaustion!

Read a brilliant book. Raising your spirited child: A Guide for parents whose children are more intense, perceptive, persisent and energetic. Fantastic read. It was like someone wrote a book about my LO! It has really helped with techniques and helping her control herself.

(Author Mary Sheedy-Kurcinka)

**Daftbat** · 15-06-2009, 04:36 PM

My eldest kind of did about 5 years ago, she is nearly 16 now. It may have been a combination of hormones and minding - i had been doing it for five years by then.

I think as i got busier she resented not having my attention as much. We came to a compromise which we have continued with to this day. She and i get my diary out and "book" in time together to go to the cinema, have a coffee (it used to be have an ice cream or go to Macdonalds!), we even go out for a meal together sometimes.

I think its hard for any mum whether you work at home or away from home. Its important that we spend "quality" time with our children and make them feel special.

**cuffleygirl** · 15-06-2009, 04:51 PM

If my 11 year old daughter who is due to start High School in September tells me again that's it not her fault it's her homones! - I shall scream the house down!

She announced the other week it was a good thing she had a brain 'cos nobody else in the house used theirs!

**ORKSIE** · 15-06-2009, 04:57 PM

My kids did sometimes recent the mindees when they were much younger, this did not last long.
Now they are 17 and 15 so they tend to either keep outa there way or on a good day will actually join in with activities...Mind you not often.
They actually dont mind having them around now

**estrelas** · 15-06-2009, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by cuffleygirl

If my 11 year old daughter who is due to start High School in September tells me again that's it not her fault it's her homones! - I shall scream the house down!

She announced the other week it was a good thing she had a brain 'cos nobody else in the house used theirs!

sorry but that made me laugh

**mushpea** · 15-06-2009, 06:21 PM

My daughter is a definate teenager but is only really 10! her problem is definatly an attention thing with a bit of hormones thrown in (she started her periods recently), she is so good some days then others we have all out paddys and strops.
My son dosent have hissy fits but does moan about 'all them other children' but as i frequently remind them if i didnt childmind then they would have to go to a childminders whilst i went out to work they then think about this and realise that they would rather have other kids here then be somwhere else.!

**georgie456** · 15-06-2009, 06:31 PM

my dd is currently going through a little so and so phase too! She is 4 and has never known me not to childmind (she was 9months when I started) but since I took on my full timer in March her behaviour has been pretty bad! She also started kicking off when I dropped her at pre-school - something she has NEVER done before so I am feeling the guilt at the moment.
Since I introduced the beloved sticker chart again things seem better.......

**uf353432** · 15-06-2009, 09:19 PM

Thanks ladies - your words have bought a mixture of comfort and deep desperation lol!

I don't know if its completely related to the minding - she asks daily who is coming to play today and seems genuinely happy that she has playmates especially when the after schoolies (older school girl) started - that was very exciting. She shares the toys, plays with the kids - she is just a real diva with me - everything is 'poo' 'yucky' 'stupid' and other such delightful phrases she has picked up from preschool.

Perhaps I should just lock her in her room until she is 21 and then marry her off to a good boy.

groan! joys of motherhood - at least if the childminding kids are a pain in the bum you can send them off home!

**The Juggler** · 16-06-2009, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by uf353432

Thanks ladies - your words have bought a mixture of comfort and deep desperation lol!

I don't know if its completely related to the minding - she asks daily who is coming to play today and seems genuinely happy that she has playmates especially when the after schoolies (older school girl) started - that was very exciting. She shares the toys, plays with the kids - she is just a real diva with me - everything is 'poo' 'yucky' 'stupid' and other such delightful phrases she has picked up from preschool.

Perhaps I should just lock her in her room until she is 21 and then marry her off to a good boy.

groan! joys of motherhood - at least if the childminding kids are a pain in the bum you can send them off home!

sounds exactly like mine! seriously , loves the kids but sometimes horrible to me. Definately try that book I recommended.

**huggableshelly** · 16-06-2009, 01:38 PM

my 8 year old DD went through a stage of being *naughty* hitting the mindees begging to go home with other people and hating coimg home with me.

I do feel sorry for her she is usually the only girl with 6 boys to contend with but we sat down and talked ( easier as older than yours) and came up with a solution to improve things. She doesnt like me working all the time so as from september I'm not working on weds after school this is *our* time and also the child she has constant conflicts with is leaving for big school soon.

the eldest is great he likes to be helpful do jobs help with the younger ones but my DD sees him as a threat and can be really nasty towards him, we tried sharing jobs and making her feel important but she doesnt want to do the jobs.

it did get easier and it will get easier for you too if not then go with the option of the binmen ... my alternative is ebay!

**Schnakes** · 16-06-2009, 01:56 PM

Yup - my daughter (10) is constantly asking me to give it up (as is MrS - thanks for your support then!!!

) - she hates it. My son is also affected by it - it breaks my heart when he wants a cuddle or something and I say "I cant right now Im feeding x a bottle" or even stupid stuff like he wants to sit in the buggy but he cant cos the babies are in there. That upsets him. Stuff like that.

I dont understand why people do this job to be at home with their own kids. Sure you are physically there but I do think I gave my kids more quality time when I was working full time in an office.

Sx